Trick or Treat,
Two brave ones is out
Rose and Harry
14 and 15
both of them decide to go to a halloween party
filled with ghouls,slime,and candy
on their way home
started to get a little scary
the inviting trees was calling their names
Rose fell,
Harry laughed,
zombies came to stop it all
run brave ones! that's what had i said
but it was too late for those brave ones
trick or treat
I was ready to eat.
flesh by flesh
oh!
so heavily favored
Trick or treat
who will be my next treat?
Hi! Just dropping in for a quick review. I thought this poem was very fun! I enjoyed the was your piece was structured. I also really liked the little plot twist at the end. I will say that on the second line, using the word is doesn't make sense to me because you're attaching it to a plural subject. The same thing with line 9. Also in line 13, I would change "what had I said" to "what I had said". Other than that, I really enjoyed this piece and can't wait to see what else you post!
-Avery
Cute and creepy! I had such a kick reading this little poem.It’s a nice thing to read for Halloween.I also like the question at the end,addressing the readers.”Who will be my next treat?” I have a feeling that zombie is going to have an abundance of food tonight.Lots of people will be trick-or-treating! Good job! I hope you have a wonderful day/night.
A spooky tale indeed! I like the wordplay on the word "treat", as well as the rhyming. I wonder where the zombies came from, and whether the speaker (the 'I') was actually a zombie or some other Halloweeny creature.
Hey there! I'm here to review your poem!
Dang, it's really good. Maybe that's just me being a horror fan, but still.
Okay, let's get into it, shall we?
Trick or Treat,
Two brave ones is out
on their way home
started to get a little scary
the inviting trees was calling their names
run brave ones! that's what had i said
Hi, TimidToto here!
First of all, love the spooky theme for the season. It's always a treat to have something made for the spirit of the holiday. The flow, in the beginning, is fun and bouncy, I can see the excitement as both Rose and Harry are giddy to get to the party. The sudden halt in between with the commas offered a nice transition in the mood dropping as they unknowingly await their demise.
The only suggestion is have would be the line "run brave one! that's what had I said", which I think you meant to put "what I had said" instead?
All in all the poem was a pleasure to read and comedic fun. Will watch out for those ghouls/zombies this year 👻
-TimidToto
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