A New Style of Writing

Hello! This will certainly get likes, because all the authors on this site are sure to have had somthing like this experience. I am lazy, so I will use bulletpoints.
·Sentence structure. The sentence is all one, long and flowing, accurately replicating the poem's message.
·Line breaks and rhythm. Both of these were good. By having a reasonably consistent line length, you make the rhythm simpler to a Gilbert And Sullivan patter song, or like you were talking out of breath, which also mirrors the poems message.
·This is the only point o can find for improvement, I think you should increase the length of the last line to contrast it with the others and give it strength.
Hope this is helpful,
Take That You Fiend!

Hi, just wanted to say that I thought that this poem was lovely and I like the way how you go through words, and I just eat them up. Sorry, that sounded awkward. Anyways I think my favourite part was
Write now,
and write fast,
For hopeful futures,
And hated pasts.


Altogether I loved this poem and it feels like I can apply this to my life somehow. I don't fully understand how but it does.

hi there
so , first i wanna say that i really liked this poem , it flowed in a good way and i liked every part of it , the rhythm was great , the words were simple but they gived a very nice piece in the end .
the beginning and the end which is my favourite part were so strong

Write in pieces,
Creative streaks;
Inspiration strikes,
Imagination peaks.

Don’t talk to me now,
Don’t look at me.
This life makes me sick,
I long to be free.

well, i guess that's all , so keep up the good writing .

smile

Hola and merry Christmas!!

I love this.

The lines were short, but actually not that choppy. Nice
Like ConverseFireGirl said before, I love the lines:

"Write now,
And write fast,
For hopeful futures,
And hated pasts."

I do this a lot in my poems, but I'm going to point out that you don't need to capitalize every single lines of the poem.


~ Wonder

This is so good...
I especially like the lines:

"Write now,
And write fast,
For hopeful futures,
And hated pasts."

It's really well done!
This poem is really good, I mainly like it as it's little short lines like snippets of someone's life? The grammar is good, for a second I though that "despair's" should be "despairs" but then I realized the "is" you meant.
Your words flow together really well too, it's simple but effective, also makes the reader think a lot.
Great work here, very well written!
-CFG

Hey there ClydeHightower, Niraco here with a review for your poem this lovely day.

I think a lot of people on this site will be able to relate to your piece very easily. I love how magical it feels at times. Such as:

Through the fog,

And through the haze,

Planning escape,

From these dreadful days.

Don’t talk to me now,

Don’t look at me.

This life makes me sick,

I long to be free.