“It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.” – Albert Einstein.
Technology is obviously taking an enormous part of our everyday living. It was like we can’t survive without this machines and technology-based products that can make our life a lot easier. Taking a look closer we can tell that dependence on technology is pretty much obvious because everything we do, see and consume everyday is mostly technology-generated. It seems like we really couldn’t get enough of it. This is absolutely one thing we can’t go on a day without. Through intelligent steps on developing it, many social networking sites are now popular that assesses us to communicate with other people even if they are miles away from us. Apparently, these things wouldn’t be possible without technology. Some of the products of technology that engaged communicating effectively are the social networking sites, the social media networking and the online transactions of payments.
Social Networking sites are bringing us the highest possibilities in coping up with everything that makes the world go round. According to Daniel Nations a very famous example of this enormous invasion is the social networking site, Facebook - that is developed to give the users access to everything they want to share, inform and definitely discover something new in the world inside the glass screens. Communicating easier and in a less hassle way is not possible without this connection we’ve got with social networking. Telegrams would probably consume much time before the person you want to talk to reads your message. But with this thing, you can easily compromise things and exchange ideas in just one click away. This will probably benefit those families whose one member is on a far-away country to run errands. Being in this long distance, knowing that they are miles away from you is sure a thing you can’t imagine over and over again. But we know this will eventually results to a future that is quite inevitable. The world has changed from keeping lists of contacts to now knowing nearly everything about everyone you've ever met.
Social Media Networking is another factor that made us knowledgeable in everything that is merely happening right before our very own eyes. Technology has made the world gone smaller with certain information just lying on our fingertips. This might be an advantage to some people who can’t pay a minute to pass by a newspaper stand and cope up with current news regarding fresh issues that made it to the headline. Meanwhile, it has its disadvantages too. Based on some article I’ve read at toptenreviews.com, Cyber Crime Law has made its popularity in the past few month, many side comments either positive or negative can be heard and seen in many social networking sites. This law includes general prohibition of unwanted postings in different sites accompanied by consequences to those found guilty. This is probably to protect every human’s rights to their freedom of speech yet giving them points to remember regarding their limitations because everything must be under control. Staff writers and social media reporters must know the legitimate information before publishing an article about it. Many scenarios are applied where reporters got piled up a case against them for posting unnecessary points about the issue without consulting the involved party and end up collecting wrong information about that certain matter.
Other factor is our easy access to our payments. Lee Ann Obringer , a famous fashion blogger said that online shopping has made its way to the top since some workers and busy people doesn’t have enough time to stroll in the mall that’s why browsing through shopping pages is a must for their everyday needs regarding their outfits. Even if they are stress or depress over something, they should always be well dressed. The ease of shopping and comparing products and prices online has made it an attractive option for many shoppers that are why many are interested to put up a business where you can earn a lot while sitting in front of the computer and listing your endless inquiries before it gets out of hand. One more thing with this kind of payment is that it is more convenient than cash and allows you to have as many options as you can.
Technology as what I’ve mentioned before is a vital need for the people nowadays. It is appallingly on the list of their needs to survive a whole new day because it helps them to adapt to the environment. The development of high technology computers and every other gadget than can be use as a mean of communication has helped conquer barriers and mile gaps all over the world. Some technological convergence is developed to facilitate a more advance technology usage for human that produce similar goals. Many technical innovations are honored for offering more of technology’s competitive advantage that is once and foremost make our life a lot easier. Now, a big thank you to all the genius that is standing proudly behind the popularity of technology because a world without it is a world we can’t probably imagine.
Paz, Christine Mae C.
BSECE-T1B
De La Salle Lipa
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137,545 Literary Works • 672,042 Reviews
Hey! Here as requested, hope I can help ^_^
This quote confused me. Here I think you had another word mistake. It shouldn't be assesses, but instead should be allows or something like that.I liked how you started this with a question. It really sets everything up, it gives an opinion of a well known person, and it tells the reader what direction you're taking with your essay. Now onto the actual body of the essay.
Okay, just a grammatical error, in the first paragraph second line you said "this machines" which should be "these machines". Just thought I would point that out to you since this sounds like it's an official thing.
Now you tend to be a little wordy in this. You say things like apparently which makes it seems like you don't believe in what you're writing about, which is not good if this is a persuasive essay. Also throughout this you use the word "obvious" a little too much. It's in the title, the quote (which you can't help), and the first sentence of the first paragraph. You don't need all these because now it's obvious how much you're using that word since they're all bunched together.
Reading more into this I see that you use some words where they don't really belong.
Perhaps catching up. The definition of coping is here http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/coping?s=t .
In essays such as this you want to avoid words such as "things" and "stuff" because it makes you sound like you don't know what you're talking about. I realize that this may seem like a minor thing, but when it's persuasion you're going for everything, including the image you give the reader of yourself counts.
Okay, now onto what you presented. You gave some good real life examples to help support your claim, but some statistics are always good to include. Perhaps a survey that someone did on how many hours people spend on the internet, how many people can access the internet information such as that. This should help the reader lean more towards your side because you are able to give them an actual picture of how much.
As for grammar and flow of your essay, I would go back and proofread if I were you. Aloud is the best way to read when proofreading because that way you'll be able to realize if anything sounds strange. I hope this helps you! You chose an interesting topic and made a catchy name so that people will read it if they see it. Good job ^_^
Sushi
Hey there! I'm Onyx and I will be reviewing your article today!
Comments
Interesting hook, brought me into the article. You did a good job on most of your topic sentences, they tie into your thesis paragraph! So here are a few things that I would like to point out.
Great opener and hook! Seems very interesting and brings me into the article.
For me, I would change a word or two just to make it sounds like it should fit. To me, it sounds a bit fuzzy.
If you are taking something that someone has said, you need to add quotations. That way someone who is reading your article knows what you are taking away from the person and making sure that they get credit. Now if you change something in someone's words, you can add [ ] around the letter or ending that you are changing.
It could just be me but I think "made" should be changed to "makes"
This should be changed, in my opinion. This doesn't really seem to fit the other paragraphs and their topic sentences. You know what I mean?
Again, make sure you quote someone if you are taking their words from an article or magazine or anything you used in your article.
Over all
Very good job on the article! I would of used a bit more pathos because it appeals to the readers emotions. Instead of just stating facts, logos, it would give them something else to tie into. Other than that, keep on writing! If you have any questions about why I said something or a change that I made. Feel free to send me a message! And sorry that my review was late!
~Onyx
I like the conclusions you've made .. I agree with your points, Keep it up .
I like the conclusions you've made .. I agree with your points, Keep it up .
I agree with this...
Because Technology became part of our everyday life enormously... Technology helps us to make our work more easier... Helps us to do our studies and research... It gives us entertainment... And connects us to the people we love that lives faraway from us especially the FACEBOOK... So technology is really a big deal... But we should not always depend on it...
This essay should help may people to understand more about technology and what is it... GOOD JOB!
Nice work. Very well said. Keep up the good work.
Nice essay.
Hello there
I find your essay interesting. You made your points clear. Good Job! 
Hello! Knight Cailey here with the requested review!
I like the quote at the beginning- it's a really nice quote and a great hook. However, it is also slightly misleading. I thought from the title and the quote that your essay would be something a little different from the other two tech essays I just wrote. I thought that you would take the opposite standpoint and give reasons why technology is bad.
To be honest I was really excited to see a different viewpoint, and I was interested to see how you would develop it. But- by the time I got to the first paragraph I realized that you weren't actually going against technology.
I don't think it's bad that you are saying technology is good. But, it would be a lot better if you say in your opening paragraph that you are for technology. Don't just beat around the bush and not clearly state your point of view. You need to start off right away by taking one side or the other. You either start by saying "technology is good" or by saying "technology is bad." (Okay, don't say it in those exact words, but don't stand on the fence.) Make sure it is clear what viewpoint your essay will be taking so that you don't have people expecting something they don't get.
Now moving into the body of your paragraph. Don't use contractions!!! (I mean, uh, Do Not use contractions.)
Also, try and make your points a little bit more clear. I understand what you were saying about communication and payments, but if you had another point I couldn't really see what it was. Make sure that each paragraph states what you will be covering in that paragraph, and also include the topic sentence into each paragraph.
As in, start off by repeating again (in some way) that you think technology is a good thing. Say that you are for technology because, and then insert a summary of your point, and then in the paragraph present evidence and explain your evidence.
And then the conclusion. I don't have much to say here because you did a really good job on your conclusion. You recapped all of your points, and you clearly stated again that you thought technology was good. And you had a great ending sentence that fit really well with your essay.
Overall, nice job, and I wish you luck on whatever this is for.
Let me know if you have any questions or comments!
-Knight Cailey
Hi Knight Cailey, thankyou for the review
I'm glad that you like it.. somehow. Lol 
So there, tis will be a really great help to improve my essay 
You're welcome! I hope it does help!
I strongly agree with this...
Because Technology REALLY became a basic necessity for us humans in our daily lives... It helps us to do better and deal with our daily lives easier... Technology really helps us communicate with our loved ones from faraway lands... It helps us to search for our paperworks... helps us with our studies... use it for entertainment... and other kinds of stuff...
I am sure that this essay will help present/future students to understand what technology really is...
Hi Maki
Well, thanks for all the positive feedbacks! Lemme know the negatives too, please! 
haha.
Knight Dragon, here to review.
I'm going to say this for pretty much all the tech essays. This is obviously a class or group of students of some sorts that discovered or were introduced at one time to YWS right after having completed an essay on this topic. So welcome to YWS! (And sheesh y'all that's a ton of essays).
Technical:
Your first paragraph basically tells me that everything is "obvious" and "apparent". If it's so apparent, show me that, don't tell me. Leave out those dreaded words. "Obvious" and "apparent" are two words that should rarely if ever be in an essay. It seems, it appears, it's apparent, it's obvious,...yeah, we get the idea.
"Technology is obviously taking an enormous part of our everyday living." "is" is a very weak essay verb. It's so weak, most teachers say not to use that verb. Get rid of it. "enormous" is defined how? I understand you're trying to say it's had a huge impact, but that's pretty vague, pretty big, and...pretty obvious. (Just like you've already told us from the get go).
"Some of the products of technology that engaged communicating effectively are the social networking sites, the social media networking and the online transactions of payments." Weak thesis. Let me rewrite it for you. "Social networking sites, social media networks, and online transaction payment sites effectively engage communication." That eliminates your "are", and strengthens your three points without saying (in effect) "Here are my three main points."
Here's a tip for theses. When you write one with a state of being verb (am, is are, was, were, and all that other junk), finish the sentence, then go back and throw out the state of being verb. Now you have a fragment. So find some verbal (you'll want an adjective formed from a verb) that would work as your verb after proper readjustment, stick it in the verb spot, and reword the sentence with your new verb. That's basically all I did to your thesis.
"Social Networking sites are bringing us the highest possibilities in coping up with everything that makes the world go round." Your "coping up" should be "keeping up".
"Communicating easier and in a less hassle way is not possible without this connection we’ve got with social networking." That is a really awkward sentence. What does "in a less hassle way" mean? And "easier"? How easier? That's too vague.
"This will probably benefit those families whose one member is on a far-away country to run errands." Um...what errands would someone in one country want another person in a very far away country to run? That needs further explanation.
"Technology has made the world gone smaller with certain information just lying on our fingertips." Another awkward sentence.
"Meanwhile, it has its disadvantages too. Based on some article I’ve read at toptenreviews.com, Cyber Crime Law has made its popularity in the past few month, many side comments either positive or negative can be heard and seen in many social networking sites." Very awkward sentence. And NOOOO!!!! You used a passive! "can be heard". Never, never, never use a passive verb! This is an essay. Keep your verbs active.
"Lee Ann Obringer , a famous fashion blogger said that". How famous? She's so famous I've never heard of her. What gives this blogger [PS-bloggers aren't always the best source for information] credibility? Why is she an expert? Please elaborate.
"Even if they are stress or depress over something,"...what? What does that even mean?
"One more thing with this kind of payment is that it is more convenient than cash and allows you to have as many options as you can." Why is this more convenient? Please elaborate. And "as many options as you can"? What are these options? [and the verb should probably be the full "can have", and maybe add "available" at the end of that sentence].
"Technology as what I’ve mentioned before is a vital need for the people nowadays." Oh my dear essayist please let me help you. "as what I've mentioned before" needs to go. It really just needs to go. Take it out, then fix your verb [no "is"es allowed].
Wow. I hope that helps. I really do.
Hi there Knight Dragon! It was so nice to hear from you! Thanks for the review. I owe you one. Big time! I'll follow all your advice so as to make a great essay
Hi there Knight Dragon! It was so nice to hear from you! Thanks for the review. I owe you one. Big time! I'll follow all your advice so as to make a great essay
Very well said. I like the way you come up with your conclusion. You gave the important information for the students like me. Keep up the good work and I'm waiting for your other works in the future.
))
Nice one. I like your essay. Keep up the good work.