Young Writers Society

Hey! I really like this poem because it's something I, and probably most people can relate to. I always take so much time to make my handwriting nice, but then it ends up messy when I really get into the writing groove.
So, first of all, what is this rhyme scheme? It is the best!!! I feel like it really flowed well, very poetic. However, while overall the poem flowed well, I didn't like the flow of the last stanza. My first impression was that the second line was too long, but as I read on it seemed like less of a problem, and after reading it again I believe it's fine. However, the last line really bothers me. "And it's nothing but scribbles at last"? I feel as if this was not a strong way to end the poem, and you were relying too heavily on past lines and making them rhyme. I suggest rewriting the stanza to really get the message across, since it would be difficult to find a better way to get the second and third lines to rhyme.
Anyways, sorry if that sounded harsh. I really like this poem! Good job!
herbgirl

Hello friend! Blablabl92 here! Great poem, and I know all about your handwriting when you show me your newly written works. I think the last line really describes it.

Anyways, The first stanza,

"My pencil against my paper
Writing my words neat and clean
Taking my time,
On my words and my rhymes,
So it's easily read when seen."

I feel like some of your poem doesn't flow very well so maybe you can fix it to

"My pencil against paper
Writing my words neat and clean
I'm taking my time
On my words and my rhymes
So they're easily read when seen."

Not that big of a difference, but you still might want to change it.

Also,
"But as the story develops,
I hastily pick up the speed,
My pen moves about
As the story comes out
And it all becomes harder to read."

I think this one also flowed strangely, but I think you made that intentional when the lines became shorter. (I'm very bad at explaining) You seem to add unnecessary words here and there like the "the" before speed and stuff in the first stanza.

The last paragraph is really perfect though. But, as I always say, you might want to add punctuation. (I know you'll ignore this but still)

Anyways, marvelous poem!

Hey there, ChocolateCello. xJ here to check out some more of your work!

First stanza; "Writing my words neat and clean" would sound a bit better without the "my." And the line below that, "Taking my time," I feel you were just looking for a rhyme here. I know you may prefer poems that rhyme, but free verse is... in my opinion, much better. The restriction of having to find a rhyme is absolute hell. And the last line on this stanza was also a bit forced. Free verse lets you express yourself the way you want! Consider it?

^.^

I did like the second stanza although the first one was a bit of a wreck. I do like the concept of how, "The more you get into your writing, the faster you go, where your writing will become sloppier." But that is a good sign that you're a real writer, yah?

And the final stanza was a bit confusing. So the story gets better, but it's nothing but scribbles in the end? Eh, if I don't get it, and others do, then don't mind me!

Nice poem, but work on your writing, eh? Read it over before you post!

great piece, scientifically correct too, people with worse handwriting commonly are that way because they have too many ideas going through their head. You probably knew that though and that's why you wrote this.

I agree with IronSpark below. Some of the "my"'s are okay, but too many can be distracting to the reader. I think the first passage would sound better if you removed most of the "my"'s:

"Pencil against my paper

Writing words neat and clean

Taking my time

On my words and rhymes

So it's easily read when seen"

Besides that, overall, I think the poem is nice! It's also relatable, because my handwriting becomes nearly indiscernible when I'm on a roll.
The rhyming feels pretty natural, not too forced. As mentioned below, perhaps rethink a few of the "but"'s as well. It's a nice, steady poem though, and I enjoyed reading it!

I really like the conceptthefactis that the thing you highlighted id a fact.evevln lhavebeen many a times beingsaid fir this. To imprivemy hwndwritung was diffigult as the braundoes not fooperatevwith hand anyofthis speeds up andthe other remins slow.when we gey a plot and itturns on then itbecomes hard to contril the hand.but dinot fear this is a verylitetrary phenomenon which symbolises we are kiterararily enriched than thosevwithout crearivity just lrarn and write
Good poem.keep writing.

Hey there, ChocolateCello. I'm here to review your awesome poem. Today I'll mainly be focusing on syntax, phrasing, and vocabulary. Ready? Set? Go!

Content:

Let's start with the first stanza.

My pencil against my paper
Writing my words neat and clean
Taking my time
On my words and rhymes
So it's easily read when seen

But as the story develops
I hastily pick up the speed
My pen moves about
As the story comes out
And it all becomes harder to read

I try to steady my hand
But I'm thinking and writing too fast
And the words glide together
As the story gets better
And it's nothing but scribbles at last

Hey, there, friend! racket here to review your handwriting. O.o XD Okay, well, this is good, only a few things to tweak.
First, just a technical thing; you say in the first stanza that you have a pencil. But in stanza two *gasp* Ack, a pen!!! How did this happen?! XD Choose a writing utensil!
Second, the hyphens between the stanzas disrupt the flow of your poem. I think if you took them out and had just regular spaces, it would make it easier to read? When you read in your head, the reader always stops longer for periods and hyphens longer than, say, commas or semicolons. Whiiiiich brings me to my next point.
Punctuation.
We need punctuation!! Generally in poetry there are commas at the end of almost every line, with few exceptions, and periods at the end of stanzas. I think this would really help your poem, yeah? It gives a nice flow to the poem, 'cause without it, we don't get a good picture of how we're supposed to read, interpret your poem. There's different ways to reading, and learning how to write in such a way that creates the flow you want a reader to read is a great skill. When there's no punctuation, there's too much room for imagination! It's your poem; make us read it like that!
Also about the flow, there's a few spots where you say 'But'. 'But's are choppy and not great in poems; use of punctuation, such as semicolons, colons, commas, can replace them and make the poem work better with itself. The beginning of that second stanza is bothering me just a bit with it's 'But', so I think it could really benefit your poem if you found a way to change that.
Also, about fonts and stuff (last thought, I swear), I think if you put the poem on the left side of the page, it would work a little better. Buuuuutttt if you want it to be completely awesome, you could change the font size, spacing, the font itself, and where the text is on the page to go with the message of the poem! That would be really fun to read and review; you could get seriously creative with that!
Okay, that's it! Didn't mean to be nit-picky, but this is really good, no matter how much I tore it apart.... Sorry. XD Good job! I think I'll review more of your stuff in the future, okay? Tell me if this was helpful! Keep writing!
~racket

Hey there!
One thing that could be cool would be if you hand-wrote this and scanned it in, and then provided a translation because obvs it's gonna get hard to read. Just a thought.

This is a cute little poem, and I find that the rhyme is working for me, so that's good. I like the story you have here, and I can 110% relate to this, having terrible handwriting myself.

You use good word choice here, though I do find that some of the wordings are a little off. Perhaps it's because of the rhyme a little bit. These slightly off phrases in my mind are:
"my pen moves about"
and
"so it's easily read when seen"
But both of these are actually fine. I couldn't think of a better way to phrase them and it probably just sounds off because I personally wouldn't phrase them that way when I spoke.

Oh I feel like the first line could use a verb between "pencil" and "against" but you don't need one.

Honestly, this poem was just pretty solid.
Oh, one thing is that it seems like you were trying to do some rhythm, which I approve of, but some places it feels like the rhythm got lost. Or maybe you weren't actually trying to do one, but if you were, maybe check back through it?

That's all I have for you! I hope this helped a little. Keep writing!
~fortis

I definitely agree with artybird on this one! I'M JEALOUS!! You have rhyme, rhythm, and a signature style that makes for an awesome poem!!

Just one little itty, bitty nitpick though. . .

But I'm thinking and writing too fast

And the words glide together

As the story gets better

And it's nothing but scribbles at last

I'm jealous of you. Seriously. How do you write such meaningful poems? That was awesome because I could totally relate to it. Great job!

Hey there ChocolateCello! The Silent Bagpipe here to review your work!

First off - This poem was awesome. It was cute and short but enough to give you a full picture. I loved it because this is something that happens to me, and when I'm writing essays or reports for other people to read I'm often gotten into trouble because my handwriting isn't the greatest xD Great job! Loved the writing and the rhythm.

My favorite lines were -

"But as the story develops

I hastily pick up the speed"

Your reviewer,

Selina

Hi ChocolateCello!

This is a great (and true... especially for me XD My handwriting is SUPER messy) poem. I love how you used a problem that most writers have and turning it into a beautifully descriptive poem.

The one thing I see, is that not all the first words of the lines of your poem are capitalized. In a poem, all the first words of the lines are supposed to begin with capital letters. Other than that you did fine.

Can't wait to read more from you! Good Job!

I don't know if I can really count this as a review or not seeing as poetry isn't my strong suit. But your poem was at the top of the list with now reviews. Honestly, I loved this. I almost want to print it out and hang it up on the wall for when I write because I can relate to it.

There may have been a spot or two that I had to restart at the beginning of the sentence because it didn't seem to flow all that well, but even then it was really good. I am really sorry that this couldn't be a better review, but I wanted to let you know that you did a really good job with this!