Young Writers Society

Thank you everyone for your lovely comments and advice. I'll try to keep everything you've pointed out in mind in future writings

Hi there. Lavvi in to review.

Your poem is lovely. The rhythm is great, falls wonderfully on each word. Your poem doesn't really rhyme, and yet it does. I think it is due to your terrific meter.

However, I really think you should punctuate poetry. Yes, poetry is definitely not prose, but it still needs punctuation in most cases. Lunasol21 did a good job of punctuating your poem for you, but here's what I suggest:

Before the dawn turns into dust,
And drifts away upon the breeze,
Drink the morning's sweet sunlight,
Taste the promise of this new day.

Dance among the glades and pools,
Bask in the glow of shining trees,
Frolic with the waking flower,
Who smile and sing and smell so sweet.

Winter's cold has gone away,
Rain drops wash and leave renewed.
This world, for you, is young and new--
Don't fear the thought of letting go.

Just close your eyes...
Just seize this day.

Before the dawn turns into dust
And drifts away upon the breeze,
Drink the morning's sweet sunlight -
Taste the promise of this new day.

Dance among the glades and pools,
Bask in the glow of shining trees.
Frolic with the waking flowers
Who smile and sing and smell so sweet.

Winter's cold has gone away,
Rain drops wash and leave renewed
this world, for you, is young and new -
Don't fear the thought of letting go.

Just close your eyes
And seize this day.

I love it. It makes life seem so happy, so frivolous. I have no criticism except why haven't you written more!?

I also love the imagrey, for such a short amount of time you did very well!


I love this
"Frolic with the waking flower
Who smile and sing and smell so sweet"
It's beautiful!
All in all it is truly a great poem!

Keep up the good work!

Awesome poem I really loved it. Could practically see the image in my mind ^^ Good luck and Happy Writing!!!
Soulkana<3