A/N If you happen to read this, think of the guy who sings Chocolate Rain's voice.
Eternal Rain,
Can’t handle that,
Eternal Rain,
Storms down cause it’s
Eternal Rain,
It comes down for all eternity,
It’s known for its immortal drops,
That’s how the name came about,
Long lasting, its forever rains,
We live with never being dry,
Stay wet because it’s,
Eternal Rain,
Can’t handle that,
Eternal Rain
Storms down cause it’s
Eternal Rain,
That’s not all it brings with its moisturous beads,
It brings knowledge of our eternal God,
Being filled with its massive love,
The rain that’s coming is persistent enough,
With never ending watery fall,
Stays dominant because it’s
Eternal Rain,
Can’t handle that,
Eternal Rain
Storms down cause it’s
Eternal Rain
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All righty. Review time! Let's start with nitpicks first~~
I really love this line. It's pretty, and for some reason 'immortal drops' just sound beautiful together. Grammar mistake though: the second "it's" does not need an apostrophe.
Blasting or lasting? And here, I think you just meant "it".
Again, it should be "its". Also, you've already used drops in another line, so maybe you could use a different word. Bead, maybe?
its*
Wondering if it's supposed to be water fall or watery fall.
This is the last line, so no comma is needed. A period will suffice.
Anyways, this is great.
It's cool and sounds catchy.
My only real problem is that I don't think it has actual song/lyric components - verse, chorus, etc. BUT don't trust me on that because I'm not certain. And, anyways, I like it how it is. It's different and rainy.
Thank you for this!~~
~ EternalRain
Yes that is the chorus and the other lines make up the verse, I couldn't space it right though
Okay
I know nothing about song lyrics. XD
LOL meh as long as ya' liked it.
Love, love, love the repetition! See what I did there, haha? But any-who, I noticed in the line (That's not all it brings with it's moisturous drops) that you used an apostrophe? Any reason for that? Same thing in the line (It's known for it's immortal drops). I just couldn't help but nitpick. It looks pretty weird to me.. did it autocorrect or something?
Thanks, I changed it.
Yes <3 Haha. Will review this in a little bit.