Published January 27, 2009
I'd like to swim with you
In the waters of the blue
Like the swallows in the sky
And the flying apple pies
When the eart turns brown
I would really really frown
Because with out you
I am a shoe
With you a feel contented
Kind of like cemented
Please don't get afraid
It just can't be contained
My love for you
____________
I know this is very strange... And it really does have a melody. Its like a cross between the star wars theme song and a bit from a song the scare crow sang in The Wizard of Oz....
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Your song is the most random thing I have ever heard! It made me laugh but not really in a good way. I'd like to hear this sung and maybe I might like it. But for now...
Ro! I love this song! It seems like a song that you would absentmindedly sing to your love, with the words not really flowing right, but makes sense.
I love this part, because it really reminds me of you.Without you, everyone would be a shoe, too. life would be so boring, without rose.What type of shoe, though, thats what I'm wondering.....this one reminds me of a picture from the book The Land Of Chewandswallow, ofr something like that.you should really read it......<3 <3 <3
KEEP WRITING SONGS/LYRICS, THOUGH ROIE. THIS IS REALLY NICE, AND HAPPY!
Cas.
ROSE PLEASE TELL ME WHO THE HECK YOU LIKE!!!!
I TELL YOU EVERYTHING AND YOU KNOW IT!!!! NAME ONE THING THAT I HAVEN"T TOLD YOU IN THE LAST MONTH AND I WILL GIVE IT UP!
This is a really sweet and cute poem but i think you need to add on....and how are these lyrics deary? PLEASE TELL ME!!!
LOVE YOU DAHLING!
I think you should expand it. It seems like you're trying and I hate reading things like that. The words should flow naturally as if thier coming straight from your mouth or mind. It's a little stiff and short for my tastes. Sorry, keep trying.
Okay...... Number one this should be in the poem section. Number two it was to short. Number three some of the rhyming was forced. Number 4 It is a pretty good start but it is only a start.