The Four - Chapter Three

by CherryScriptAMK

Published June 30, 2026

E - Everyone

In The Four

Please read the previous chapters first.

Chapter One: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/CherryScr...

Chapter Two: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/CherryScr...

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“One, two, three, four children,” the man muttered, scratching his head. “You’re all here? No, she’s missing…” The children stared at him with baffled expressions.

“What?” Milo asked, confused. “Who’s ‘she’?”

“It must be too late for her,” the man muttered to himself. “No matter. We must get you children safe immediately.”

“Where are we going?” Annette asked.

The man looked like he was about to answer, but a frantic voice interrupted. “Code Pickle! I repeat, Code Pickle!” It sounded like it came on a speaker, or a walkie talkie of some sort, though Annette couldn’t identify it.

Calvin looked unamused. “Code Pickle? That is the most ridiculous sounding—”

“Children,” the man interrupted, his voice filled with a sudden urgency. “They’ve come for you again. They draw near.”

“They?” Milo asked, wide eyed. “You mean the people who tried to kidnap us?”

“Yes,” the man said. “We don’t have time to argue. You need to leave, now.”

“Alright,” Annette said, feeling she could trust the man. “Where do we go?”

“Extracation Location B,” the man replied hurriedly, fishing out a phone from his pocket.

The children made confused faces. “What?”

“Right. I meant a spot on the beach near the Sterling Harbor Lighthouse. I can pick you up there, but you need to travel on foot to get there. I can give you the coordinates."

“The black van has been sighted,” said the voice on the walkie talkie.

Annette pulled up the coordinates on her phone and the group started to jog in the direction of the meeting spot. They ran into the forest, a shortcut Mona Lisa figured would work. Annette and Milo trusted her judgement, but Calvin was skeptical. The man hurried the opposite way.

“What was that…all about?” Milo nervously asked, mid gasp.

“They’re after us, but don’t worry. I won’t let them get you, too. I’m sure we can outrun them,” Mona Lisa commented. She was in the lead and running the fastest of the four of them, but her voice had no indication of her being out of breath or tired at all.

“Are you kidding?” Calvin said, as his feet pounded against the ground. “The probability of a human…outrunning a vehicle…is virtually zero.”

“Yeah, but we could still do it,” Mona Lisa said, as if this should be obvious.

“That makes zero sense!” cried Calvin.

“How much farther…do we have to go?” Milo asked.

Annette slowed her pace to check her phone. “About half a mile. It says seventeen minutes, but we’re taking this shortcut, so there’s no way to know for sure.” Calvin and Milo groaned.

“Why, that’s easy as pie,” Mona Lisa happily said, oblivious to the boy's dismay. “We should be there in no time. Hey, I think I know another shortcut. This way, closer to the road.”

“The road? That can’t be… a good idea…” Calvin started to say. No one listened to him, so he definitely followed them through the trees, a bit closer to a rural, sand lined, road.

“Guys, is it me, or… Does the air sound a bit… Rumblier than it was… A few seconds ago? ” Milo suddenly asked.

“Rumblier?” Calvin asked. “What does that even mean-”

“Milo, you’re right!” Annette cried. “A vehicle! Everyone down.” The children frantically scurried deeper into the forest to hide. Milo crouched behind a boulder and beckoned for the others to join him. Calvin and Mona Lisa were able to, but Annette was out of time. She was the nearest to the road, and was helping the others hide. A roaring, ‘rumbling,’ if you may, sound could be heard, a sign of the impending vehicle, and Annette lay on the ground, shielded behind a log. It wasn’t nearly as good of a hiding spot as the boulder, but it would have to do. A black van rolled by, and Annette’s heart nearly stopped when she saw the Glass House logo on the side. The others could not see the van, for it was out of their view from behind the boulder. The van screeched to a stop on the sandy road. Annette tried to shrink closer to the log, but it was no use. She knew they would find her.

“They’re here,” a man said, as he stumbled out of the van. Annette realized he was Stryker and grimaced.

“How would you know that?” a sharp, impatient voice countered. “I thought we took away your tracking privileges?” Webb’s figure stepped into view, and Annette wasn’t surprised at all.

“Would you boys stop the bickering?” a female voice snapped. “We’re supposed to be a professional agency. You two are really making that unbelievable right now.” The woman had a tall, sleek figure with a red bun at the nape of her neck. Annette identified her as the woman who kidnapped Mona Lisa’s Abuela.

“I’m all for the professional stuff, Belladonna,” Webb said. “It’s Stryker who isn’t.”

“Well, calling names and blaming isn’t professional,” Belladonna curtly replied. “We need to get down to business. Hurry on out of the van, Anvil, they’re here.”

An annoyed man with a handlebar mustache stepped out of the van. He must be the man who tried to kidnap Calvin and Milo. “Say, where are the Brothers Grimm?” he asked. “Weren’t they supposed to meet us around this time?”

“They were?” asked Belladonna, feigning surprise. “Oh, like you were supposed to capture Calvin Holmes an hour ago? If those two things are anywhere near similar, I wouldn’t be surprised if we never saw them again.”

“Come on Belladonna, the past is the past,” Stryker argued. “Besides, Wilhelm contacted me on the way here. Said he and Jacob were on their way.”

Belladonna scowled. “You and your device. Are you ever helpful in the least without your precious screen?”

How could they know where we are? Annette wondered, as the team squabbled. It seemed virtually impossible, unless they somehow placed a tracker on them… Then, it struck her. Annette’s hand moved to her shoulder, where Webb had held her down earlier that day. Her suspicions were confirmed when she felt a little button-sized device. A tracker, she thought. It would lead them right to her. If she had one, chances were, so did the others. There had to be some way out of this. Annette thought and thought. She finally had a plan.

“It says that they’re over here,” Anvil said, pointing at a device.

“For crying out loud, stop showing us and look,” Belladonna said, exasperated.

“You’re not going to help?” Stryker asked.

“Fine. If you can’t even track down a single child, I’ll help you,” Belladonna said.

Crunch! There was movement on the other side of the road.

“They’re getting away!” Stryker cried. “Hurry!” The group raced to the other side of the road. Annette, having thrown her tracker, as well as a good sized rock, to distract them, got up and hurried to slip behind the boulder.

“Quick, search yourselves,” she told the others. “Look for tracking devices.”

“Annette, we don’t have time for this-” Calvin started to say.

“Found one in your back pocket, Calvin.” Mona Lisa held up a tracker. “Should I crush it?”

“No, the device might have some kind of alert if tampered with,” Annette warned. “We shouldn’t test it.”

“Then let’s have some fun,” Mona Lisa mischievously answered, already scanning for odd places to lose the tracker. “What do you think, Calvin, that squirrel up there, or their van?”

“How do you expect to put a tracker on a squirrel?” Calvin asked, appalled. “One that’s currently in a tree!”

“Easy,” Mona Lisa said. “Just watch me.”

“Here we go again,” Calvin moaned.

Milo, meanwhile, was anxiously rumaging through his bag. “It could be anywhere,” he said, palms sweating as he dove deeper and deeper into the practically bottomless bag.

“Milo, I think they wouldn’t go to all the trouble of hiding a tracker in…” Annette paused to see what he was currently inspecting. “A spare pair of sneakers at the bottom of your bag. Maybe just check the outside pockets. If you can’t find anything there, I think you’re good.”

Everyone froze when a rageful shriek filled the air. “The tracker!” Belladonna snarled. “Those filthy children tricked us!”

“Milo, Calvin, we’ve got to go,” Annette said.

Milo hastily stuffed things into his bag and zipped it up. “Wait… Where’s Mona Lisa?”

Mona Lisa was, in fact, crouched at the base of a nearby tree. Calvin’s tracker, a piece of gum, and a hair tie was in her hand. First, she speed-chewed the gum and stuck it to the tracker, then poised the hair tie like a slingshot, aiming at the squirrel. Finally, she placed the tracker, gum side out, in the DIY slingshot. Mona Lisa was ready to shoot.

“Mona Lisa,” Annette hissed, just as she was about to fire. “We’ve got to go. Do not shoot that.”

Mona Lisa ignored Annette’s warning and let go.

Snap!

Up, up, up the tracker went, hitting the squirrel directly in the chest. It squeaked angrily and took off. Calvin gave a flabbergasted squeak as Mona Lisa shot him a confident look.

“That way,” Belladonna was saying. “I heard something.”

“Wait, lemme check the app…” Stryker mumbled, fishing for a device. “It says the last tracker is… That way.” He pointed in the direction that the squirrel had bolted. “It’s moving fast, so it can’t be a prank.”

“It can definitely still be a prank. Have you ever heard of cars before?” Belladonna scoffed, rolling her eyes. “But let’s check over here. I heard something, and my ears never fool me.”

The children were hurrying away, but they weren’t being too silent. “I’m gonna go and puncture their tires,” Mona Lisa casually said, starting to slip back toward the van.

“Absolutely not,” Annette said, just as Calvin said, “Are you trying to get us caught?”

“Aww, why not? I’ll be really quick-”

“This way. They went this way,” Belladonna called. “Anvil, more to your right.”

Anvil groaned as he trudged towards the direction of the children. He had apparently been picked for the unpleasant job of child wrangling. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Well, why don’t you do it yourself if you’re so confident?”

“Could you please stop being a wimp and just do as you’re told?” Belladonna huffed. “They’re probably getting away.” She was correct. The kids continued trudging on, Calvin holding on to Mona Lisa with a firm grip.

“You do realize I could escape your grasp in a matter of seconds,” she said.

Calvin shook his head. “Not a chance.”

“Hush, you two,” Annette warned. “You’re going to give us away. We just need to creep over to the beach up there—see, about 20 feet ahead—then we can bolt to the lighthouse.”

Calvin and Mona Lisa nodded.

“I don’t see anything,” Anvil reported. “Wait a second… Is that a foot?”

“A foot?” Belladonna asked, intrigued. “Come on, everyone, let’s get over there.” Stryker and Webb followed her to the boulder, where Anvil was standing.

“It’s a shoe,” he said.

Belladonna grinned. Finally, something had gone right. She leaned down and examined the shoe. “Boys size six sneaker. Looks relatively new.”

“Let me see,” Webb said.

“So you and your pal can toss around the evidence until it’s destroyed? Never,” Belladonna said, holding the sneaker tight. So this was the very reason the team had neglected to discover some strange objects tucked away inside the shoe.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
vulpesvelox
Review
vulpesvelox wrote a review Review · Jul 17

Hello, hello! :mrgreen:

It sounded like it came on a speaker, or a walkie talkie of some sort, though Annette couldn’t identify it.

I think this should be "came from a speaker" rather than "came on a speaker." Walkie-talkie also normally has a hyphen.

I’m also confused about where the voice is coming from. Is the man carrying a radio which Annette can’t see? The voice speaks again later, so it would help to establish the device a little more clearly when it first interrupts them.

"They’ve come for you again. They draw near."

"They draw near" sounds very formal compared with the rest of the man’s dialogue. That may be part of his character, but his speech moves between fairly ordinary language and dramatic warnings. I’d either make more of his dialogue unusual or simplify this, since it's a little strange how he moves between tones.

I’m also wondering how he knows they’re coming for the children again and what he knows about the earlier kidnapping attempts. The children accept this very quickly, especially considering they don’t seem to know who he is. Hm.

"I won’t let them get you, too."

This sentence makes it sound as though Mona Lisa has already failed to protect someone else. If that’s referring to her Abuela then it’s a nice detail, but I think Annette or one of the others might react to it. Otherwise it passes by very quickly despite having quite a lot of weight, so I'm unsure what it is supposed to signify.

"The probability of a human…outrunning a vehicle…is virtually zero."

I like Calvin calculating their chances while they’re in the middle of running for their lives. His voice comes through clearly and contrasts nicely with Mona Lisa’s confidence. I think he is characterised very well!

Technically, though, they don’t need to outrun the van in a straight race. They’re in a forest where the vehicle presumably can’t follow them, so Calvin might point out that their chances depend on whether they remain away from the road. That would also make his objection when Mona Lisa leads them closer to the road feel more important.

"Found one in your back pocket, Calvin."

It’s very convenient that Mona Lisa finds Calvin’s tracker immediately. I’d perhaps have her pat down his coat or notice a strange lump first.

***

Overall, this is a lively chapter! I like how much effort you've put into giving the children their own personalities. The tracker-on-a-squirrel idea is very funny and feels completely in character for Mona Lisa. I think the other children should be more amazed by what she can do!

I’m not sure why the man goes in the opposite direction once the children start running, though. Is he trying to distract the kidnappers, retrieve a vehicle or reach the extraction point another way? Annette trusts him to collect them later, so I think he should give some explanation before leaving them alone. It feels a little strange that an adult who knows they’re being hunted sends four children through the forest by themselves. That may be intentional and perhaps he’s not as trustworthy as Annette thinks, but if not, I’d give him a stronger reason for being unable to accompany them.

Also, the villains’ bickering is entertaining, but it goes on for quite a while considering the children are hiding only a short distance away. They don’t come across as especially threatening because they spend more time criticising each other than searching. Belladonna seems like the most competent member, so I’d have her take control earlier and make the search feel more organised. The others can still bicker, but perhaps she silences them once she realises the children are close.

There are also a few point-of-view slips. Most of the scene seems to be from Annette’s perspective, but we occasionally learn things she can’t know, such as Mona Lisa preparing the slingshot while Annette is elsewhere. I’d either keep everything firmly with Annette or make the narration more clearly omniscient throughout.

That’s all I have for now, but I’m intrigued by the missing fifth child and whatever Milo has managed to hide in that shoe!

Cheers!

Lipton

User avatar
HMMHhehe
Review
HMMHhehe wrote a review Review · Jun 30

Hello!

I saw you posted Chapter 3 and I had to check it out right away.

This chapter is a lil creepy, and I like the suspense! The mysterious stranger from Chapter 2 leaves the four children on their own, and asks them to meet him a couple of miles away. Meanwhile, the kidnappers are chasing them! Thanks to the good thinking of all of them, discovering the trackers and getting rid of them, they manage to closely escape. But one of the "bad guys" (or maybe they're not, but at this point of the story it looks like they are) called Belladonna finds a boy's shoe behind the boulder which was their hiding place... And there are strange objects hidden inside the shoe? I did not really understand that part: it can't be Mona Lisa's shoe, because the woman says that it's a boy's; is it that of Milo, from his bag or not, or Calvin? Did you already mention these 'strange objects' or are they just part of the suspense? Maybe you'll answer all of this in the next chapter(s), or maybe my memory's just really bad, or maybe it's just another mystery. If so, just ignore this!

I don't have much more to say than in my last review, (Chapter 2) but here is a minor suggestion:
"Calvin and Milo groaned.
'Why, that’s easy as pie,' Mona Lisa happily said, oblivious to the boy's dismay." For "boy's", if you mean one boy that is correct, but if you mean both boys you should put "boys'" with the apostrophe after the s.

Overall, great job again! This was an entertaining chapter and I look forward to the next.

Thank you for sharing, keep writing and have a wonderful day!^^

-HMMHhehe the potato

Thanks for the review!
You see, the shoe was the one mentioned earlier in this chapter when Milo is dumping out the stuff in his bag, worried that there was a tracker hidden somewhere in it. Annette says this:

%u201CMilo, I think they wouldn%u2019t go to all the trouble of hiding a tracker in%u2026%u201D Annette paused to see what he was currently inspecting. %u201CA spare pair of sneakers at the bottom of your bag. Maybe just check the outside pockets. If you can%u2019t find anything there, I think you%u2019re good.%u201D

So, it is implied that he dropped the shoe in the rush.

HMMHhehe replied · Jul 1

Aaaah ok makes sense, thank you!!



"The rules of capitalization are so unfair to the words in the middle of a sentence."
— John Green, Paper Towns