Episode 1
I always seem to find myself in this hiding spot whenever we host family reunions. I knew I’d face the consequences later—Mom would scold me for not socializing with relatives who’d flown in just to see me. But deep down, I knew the truth. They didn’t come all this way to catch up like normal families do. They came to unload their disappointment, to remind me I wasn’t perfect, and to argue about how Mom and Dad had made a mistake marrying each other. The story always changed depending on who you asked.
I bounce my leg nervously as a bird flies past. The large balcony stretches before me, the glass railing a barrier between me and the world below. The crates beneath me creak as I gently swing my feet back and forth.
“Where is that disappointment they call their son?” I hear my mom’s sister snap as the sliding doors open. My aunt steps out with three cousins trailing behind, drinks in hand. They saunter to the railing and lean against it. They don’t see me, so I do what I always do—ignore them, staring into the distance.
“Why is he even here? Shouldn’t he be at university or something?” one cousin asks.
“Camille says he’s doing school online.”
They all scoff in unison.
“Isn’t he a musician? How does that work?”
“Don’t ask me,” my aunt mutters. “I’m not the psycho.”
They laugh, clinking bottles.
I don’t move or look their way, but somehow one cousin spots me. My aunt huffs in disgust and storms off, leaving the others to close in.
“What are you, a spy? Why you eavesdropping?”
I say nothing. I always say nothing.
“We’re talking to you, Emely—oh, I meant Emery.”
They laugh. I hold back an eye roll. Why do they always act so childish? They’re only a couple of years older than me, and I’m nineteen. They keep going, throwing whatever insults they can grab.
“How’s being unemployed going for you?”
“Yeah, I heard online school is just an excuse to get us off your back.”
I stand, brushing dust off my pants.
“Aww, have you had enough of us?” one jeers.
They laugh again.
“Leave him alone!” a heavily accented voice snaps.
My cousins roll their eyes. “The Asian side of the family is here. That’s our cue to leave.”
One of them shoves me before disappearing downstairs.
“Oppa,” my cousin Hana calls, greeting me with a kiss on the cheek. I don’t meet her eyes. If she’s here, the reunion has officially started.
“You can’t let them walk all over you,” she beams. “I heard your latest song. It sounds really good. Too bad it’s not getting many views, but I’m sure it will eventually.”
Hana talks too much for my liking.
“There’s such a nice view up here…” she rambles.
I leave her to babble and head downstairs. Almost instantly, the house goes quiet.
“Ah, there he is!” Dad exclaims, breaking the awkward silence. Those who tolerate me smile; the others give a curt nod.
“C’mon,” Mom whispers harshly, “greet your family.”
I bow respectfully to my Korean relatives. “Annyeonghaseyo.” To the rest, I nod, grab my keys, and walk out the door.
As I head down the driveway, I can hear them talking about me again. I’ve done this at every family reunion since I could drive.
Inside the car, the silence is cool and steady. I glance at the rearview mirror and notice, for the first time, the Polaroid is fading. I’ve had it for four years. I’d chosen Polaroid so the memory would never fade. But I guess everything does, eventually.
I start the car and hit the road.
“We used to capture moments,” I murmur as I merge into a lane. My heart quickens; a poem is forming. I pull over and grab my notepad.
We used to capture moments,
With bright and bold colors.
Now the memories fade,
Like the stories we used to tell.
I stare at the page, tears threatening to fall. Maybe no one would ever appreciate my songs. But when I write poems, I write them for Grace.
I lift the Polaroid from the mirror and kiss it gently.
“I love you, Grace.”
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
What a wonderful first episode! I love the cliffhanger, I’m absolutely about to read the next ones after leaving this review.
To start, I really feel for Emery. It’s hard having crappy family members and being forced to interact with them for one reason or another. This aspect of the story hits hard for me. I’m very glad that Emery has someone like Hana to stand up for him.
Secondly, I really like the lore drop at the end! My guess is that Grace is a girlfriend that passed some time ago. I also like that you had Emery write a poem within this story, it feels almost fourth wall breaking to me.
Overall, this was written very well! Keep up the great work, and I hope you have a great day/night!
Hello!!! This is a great introduction to the story!! This start introduces the themes & topics revolving around emotional & verbal abuse from family members, the anxiety and trauma that comes with that abuse, and (coping with) loss and/or separation, alongside the experience of being biracial & interacting with two cultures within a family—in a way that is very comprehensible and easy to digest, but also still shows potential to be explored as the story goes on.
"Seul: The Broken Symphony" is a great title for this work, as it gives emphasis on the themes of abuse in families and the interaction between two cultures, thus not just being a reference the main character's interest in music. The word "symphony" refers to a very complex, song typically created by multiple people who sing in agreement—which is reminiscent of how families are built by multiple people who agree to be a single unit (while also having some differences). So for the title to suggest that this "symphony" is a broken one, does give the interpretation that this is a metaphor for how the main character's families are both so divided, that they can't come in complete agreement to become together as one.
Emery, our narrator here, is shown to be nervous, prone to restrain themselves (around family), is a musician (despite some family members mocking the idea), express themselves through writing, and to hold a person named Grace in his heart. These traits are really portrayed well through the descriptions of his actions and his thoughts; while the writing does leans to being simplistic (which is not bad!), its directness adds to how this work is great as a start of a story.
There are also both of his families. One family (on his Dad's side) flew over to see him, were not just quick to be very loud and blunt about their dislike of Emery and his other side of the family, but were also quick to party, as seen by the detail of the drinks. That family may also hold ignorant beliefs about race & culture, as it's written that they roll their eyes, signifying their annoyance with the other family's presence, while identifying them as "The Asian side." However, I am unsure if it was intentional or not for that line to hint at racism, especially considering how that statement don't have to stem from underlying racism, and how uncommon it is for writings on here to touch/mention on that oppression through writing.
This quote from Dad's family could suggest they view Emery as feminine in some way, which also adds another layer to their dislike of him. In general, this quote offers opportunities to interpret this line through the lenses of race dynamics, queerness, gender, and/or just generally having a toxic family, which I found interesting! While I am leaning to the interpretation that this family is just so ignorant of Emery's presence that they didn't even find value in accurately remembering his name, if this line is deliberate to shame him for their perception that he's feminine, I wonder how Emery feels or cope about that perception.
This other family (Mother's side)... well, we don't see their exact behaviors and conversations. Though... considering he left almost immediately when they came (suggesting he didn't want to go through yet another negative experience), we can assume (for now at least) that they're just as toxic as Dad's family. Even so, I hope that this side of the family will be shown more. Both Mom & Dad are more eager to please their families (Mother is harsh about it, while Dad is passive), than clearly addressing how both families treat and view Emery in a toxic, harmful way. Which I feel suggests some additional layers to Emery's relationship with his immediate family.
Grace is someone we're later introduced to through Emery trying to soothe himself from his families' toxicity. While it is unknown if she is dead or just separated from him, regardless, what's definite is that her presence is a loss one. So this loss is something Emery copes with to this day, and holds to him as he reminiscent about past "captures." This ending with some ambiguity doesn't feel too lacking, but it's not too definite to know where the story will go, which is great. However, I did feel the build-up to him writing this poem could also be more heavier (more depth to & extend the descriptions), especially considering its likely a significant poem hinting at some themes & topics ingrained in the text.
Even so, this is a great start to your story!! Keep writing!!!
Hey, lalalucky! Thanks so much for the feedback. All your points were great, and I'll keep them in mind as I continue to write! Thank you for your encouragement!
aw you're welcome!!! ^^
Hello! I'm Milesperhour, here to review your lovely episode! I tend to review while I read, so apologies if this seems a bit rambly.
First of all, I like how you dive straight into the story, and how the basic aspects are explained right off the bat, without seeming too exposition-y. I also like how less obvious lore is slowly revealed (for example with the Polaroid in his car), leaving a bit of mystery that makes you want to keep reading to find out more. The ending was very strong, you weren't kidding in the description when you mentioned a cliffhanger, and I'm excited to read future episodes!
As for possible improvements, while I do relate to his problems with his relatives, sometimes the aunt and cousins feel a bit TOO rude and exaggerated. Maybe if their hatred was a bit more subtle it would be more impactful. Of course, if you do have relatives like that in real life feel free to disregard this.
Overall, this is a really good start, and I'm excited to see where the story goes from here!
-Milesperhour133
Thanks so much, Milesperhour133. I'll keep what you said in mind as I continue to write. Regarding the relatives, unfortunately, that is how his aunt and cousins are. You'll see how their intensity affects Emery in the future. Thanks for the review!