Young Writers Society

Hey Charm!

This is a really sweet poem . The best thing about this is how you have conveyed your emotions so beautifully. The sound of the poem is amazing and so is the Imagery. I felt that I was standing on the beach as you recited this to your loved one . It is a very well written piece and the way you have laid this is also interesting.

On the other hand ,the layout might seem a little confusing but all in all it adds to the sense of the poem. You could check for the punctuation a little but it is totally your choice. I personally , can't pick one line as my favorite , I LOVE THE WHOLE THING! I hope you keep posting more such poems. I must say that you do have certain charm.

Keep writing

Hey! Silverquill here with a review!

This was a very sweet poem. You did a great job of keeping the consistency of the metaphor of the subject and the ocean, bringing in several aspects of the ocean and having them correspond to characteristics of the subject.

I could clearly imagine being at the beach with your imagery and figurative language. The way the poem was structured on the page was interesting too; it creates a sort of visual sense that you wouldn't otherwise get if it was just formatted normally.

One part I was confused about was the first stanza: you talk about how you push this person away. That, to me, seemed to break the theme of the poem. Usually when you push someone away, you don't want to see them. I get that you were trying to make a point, with the tide and all, but maybe you rephrase and say something about how the subject returns to the narrator whenever they are lost. This moves the action out of the narrator's control and keeps the consistency of the theme of loving the subject.

Overall, I liked this poem a lot! It marvelously showed a very adorable relationship.