Published December 18, 2010
Dear diary
My first potions lesson and it had to be ruined by Potter, why is he making all this effort for me too like him. I walked into potions class with Severus behind me and James practically jumped for joy when he saw me but the Severus came in and his face turned down and Sirius whispered into his ear and James nodded. Our teacher professor Slughorn placed me by James who made it even more unbearable, we had to make a sleeping potion by following the instructions on the board and James stupidly leaned over and asked if he could borrow a knife when one was clearly by his right hand. I just ignored him and carried on following the instructions. Sirius then turned around and asked if James was bothering me, obviously it was planned because Sirius had a stupid grin on his face. I saw Severus with anger written all over his face. I quickly finished the sleep potion and told professor Slughorn, his face went wide this pride and he called the whole class over and showed them my sleep potion no big deal at all to me. Severus was close behind me and he held my hand i smiled warmly and i think James saw. I don't know why he's trying to be nice now anyway, he's just annoying and stupid
Love Lilly Evans
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141,411 Literary Works • 674,391 Reviews
Is this just me or have you not said how Lily has found out that James likes her it just seems to jump into her knowing that he likes her or is that just a hunch that Lily has?
Overall a nice addition to this novel. Me like.
-Sweet♥
Hey,
I really like your idea of Lily Evan's diary. The only thing i have to say is some spelling and grammar mistakes, but other than that keep writing because I want to read more!
wow, not a bad idea. i'm sorry but this is my first time viewing a part of your novel.
try a different expression because in the back of my mind something is itching me that there is something it lacks. try more vocabulary. there are some errors like "James practically jumped for joy when he saw me but the Severus came in " this line has a few errors. here is my version " and i noticed james almost jump with joy but severus came in view and he turned his head down to listen to sirius's whispering". if you don't find it correct then leave it. i really think its a creative idea!
keep writing
btw i'm a james too!