Published May 4, 2006
When hopes wall falls down and breaks,
humanity realizes it made a mistake.
Conspiracy taken by those who rule,
soon they'll notice; humanity's fool.
Fact or fiction? choose or die,
take the lead and master time.
Free of will but trapped in needs,
humanity sows its evil deeds.
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141,298 Literary Works • 674,336 Reviews
That sounds alot like today's world. Very good.
I agree with dream deep. The rhyming was not right for the message you are trying to convey. Also i think make your poem longer. But i did like some of the lines, they were really well written.
Good message, loved the first line.
The rhyme scheme seemed a little simplistic for such a deep message, though.
Maybe change that?
Anyway, good job on this.