"I should've known it was Daffy Duck all along..."
She always liked writing, putting her mystical thoughts on a piece of paper. Relieving and
soothing it felt.
Sometimes she’d run out of topics, her feelings stood still yet sometimes her feelings were too exposed.
This time her topic was slightly exciting as she didn’t choose it herself. She grabbed her notebook and whatever pen she could find; ready to put some words on the piece of paper. Once started, it seemed harder than she thought. Every single word or phrase she wrote down had been crossed out.
A given topic was stressful, a surreal blur. Before you knew it she gave up and put her pen down to rest. She kept sitting at her desk staring at the wall as her mind slowly wandered away, away from the fact she couldn’t put some words on a darn piece of paper. Sooner or later she entered a new world, the teenage world of adolescence-does that even make sense?- She had a lot on her mind other than writing, unexplainable things, things she felt without knowing why she felt them. She shared strong feelings for one another, and yet for those who’d make her feel bound and broken in the end. Those who’d make her feel empty and wasted as soon as they’d leave her world behind.
She gasped, as she was thinking about dimming her feelings before they’d go. She wasn’t planning on getting hurt and feeling bad again. She didn’t want her heart to ache, as it was too fragile too weak. She had it broken so many times and wasn’t prepared for it to happen again. Not at all.Another feeling she couldn’t manage; the feeling to love someone. All the guys she fell for were immensely painful. Except for one; one who had been her friend through thick and thin. He’d share his loving comfort and make her feel on top of the world. This was him, the person she was longing to have a bounder relationship with yet too scared to make it happen. Frightened to take the first step, the step which could change everything.
Right now she was just begging for a miracle to happen.*Gasp*
All of the sudden a missing link popped out and broke the entire connection between earth and the middle of nowhere. She was back at her desk realizing she left it for a while. The darn paper was still in front of her. Still empty, nothing but crossed out words.
Guess that trip out to space made her come to her senses as she picked up her pen and started writing fluently. The words kept popping and popping in her mind, as she carefully wrote them down in the right order. She’d never felt this relieved as she already filled a whole page with words which weren’t going to be crossed out.
Once done she just needed the perfect closure for her story. This was going to be the last phrase to complete her work. Searching through and through she finally found the words to complete it : "I should’ve known it was Daffy Duck all along’’
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,028 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: This was a really cool take on this I think challenge that had been going around on the site some time before if all the Daffy Duck things that I read earlier indicated anything. And I think its a pretty good little story showcasing the kind of actions that a writer goes through when they write a short story like this.
Anyway let's get right to it,
I think we have ourselves an accidental enter key there. Other than that its a pretty decent place to start things out describing this activity that she's doing and telling us what this story will be about.
Now this is think the wrong tense there. The way that you've written it, you've made it sound a bit like there were already a bunch of crossed out words and phrases when she picked up the notebook when I think what you're trying to say is that all the things she wrote down ended up crossed out. So I would suggest replacing "had been" with "was".
That certainly took a quick turn in a direction that was somewhat expected with us getting a look into her thoughts.
Well that seems fairly typical for someone's thoughts. It was a nice little hint at what sort of life she's had before we come right back to the task that she is trying to accomplish.
And that's a nice ending to tie it all down. It depicts what i'm sure most writers actually do experience as they write a story, I know that I for one always has experiences like this with crossing out everything until an idea just flows out of nowhere.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: You do a really good job of showing how the emotions of this girl varies as she tries to write this. We can see the things that are trying to distract her and her insecurities about writing before she finally manages to write something that she's happy with. Overall its a pretty well done little story.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Very interesting!