Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!!
First Impression: Okay....so...this is the first time I think that I've ever had to look at a work purely from how the description is done...but ehh...Imma give this a shot, and we on first glance it certainly seems pretty good.
Anyway let's get right to it,
We walk to the door hand in hand and he unlocks it. Stepping inside, I’m not surprised. It’s what you would expect from the look of the outside of the house. Everything clean, polished, white and in place. The door leads into a grand room, nearest was all open space. One could say a dancing space, under an intricate crystal chandelier that dazzled shining patterns over the floor.
Hmm, well that certainly is a solid start to a description, its a decent way of starting such a thing, its appears to be sort of starting the same way you'd expect someone walking into a room to notice things and that is pretty how you want it as a reader too, so this is certainly a pretty cool start here. Well, let us see how this goes I suppose.
On the far end of the room was somewhat of an entertainment area. There are three nice black leather couches in a U formation facing a 72” flat screen television. Various porcelain white side tables stationed next to them, crystal flower vases filed with orchids, and a coffee table in between with fill items in their place.
Alright, this really does have quite a neat flow to it here, its very similar to how someone would begun noticing details, with the grandest most eye catching pieces being the first to get noticed. So far this is proceeding really well, I can certainly easy put myself in this person's shoes and imagine what sort of place this may be.
Behind the right stationed couch was a black bar. Glasses stacked on top and the liquor most likely stored underneath.
The architecture of the interior was odd, the first floor ceiling above the entertainment room ran towards us past the couches then straight up at a right angle to the bottom of the second floor. Black railing up to keep people from falling to their deaths connecting around to the shining rails of the grand stairwell, standalone and off to the left of us. Wide, curving fancily all the way up. peeking beneath I can see a door behind it, probably the kitchen entrance
Okay, looks like we're in small comments about what the person here is thinking of what he sees which is an interesting touch, it can be interpreted as a bit of exposition perhaps where you're explaining a place and then slipping in details about the purposes of said items via thoughts but I do think it works quite well, it certainly feels like the thoughts any person would have upon seeing a place for the first time, well the bar comment anyway. Not terribly sure about the fall to your death comment, I doubt too you think of death prevention rails when just looking a staircase, I doubt the place there is precarious enough to warrant a thought like that, unless its a super narrow, super rickety rotting staircase and this one appears to be a luxurious grand one.
"It's beautiful," I tell him, taking it all in. He gives me one of those shy lopsided grins.
“C’mon, I’m upstairs.” He pulls me up said stairway and across another open space that serves as a crossway to go down different hallways. They weren’t small, dark hallways. They were wide and bright and tall, like they weren’t hallways at all. And there weren’t walls at the end, they all led probably into another room. I wasn’t surprised. The far back wall we were walking towards was glass from floor to ceiling and you could see the backyard, the sky, the sun shining through. We turn down the hallway that runs with this wall and he pulls me all the way down through a double door and into his room.
Okay the description there was pretty neat as well. Its sort of showing how things are being revealed to this person as they just go in from hallway to hallway and into this room. Again, I really like how this remains consistent with the way a person would see things, and how that allows this to flow really easily. So even if it is a load of description it doesn't feel like we're having too many things crammed into our heads. I'd say job well done here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, this is a pretty solid description here, it certainly is far better than the garbage I come up with. So yup, I believe, that is about all that I have to say here.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 260826
Reviews: 4129
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