Well, so far this poem has no title, I just came up with it one day when I was kind of depressed...
(Edit: sorry, I hadn't seen I was supposed to post 2 reviews first, I'll get on that)
We sob, we cry, our tears form a sea,
For what our lives are, and what they won't be
Wishing, praying, fantasies and dreams
Replaced by anguish, and great, silent screams
Prisoners in a dark labyrinth of sorrow
Mindless drones always waiting for tommorrow
And here's something I wrote when I was feeling more philosophical...
Why are we brought, if only to cry
Why are we born, if only to die
Why are there children, if they do not last
Like a wilting rose, we fade to the past
O intellect! O reasoning! O "praiseworthy" things!
We are but puppets on nature's great strings
On nature's scale, our race is the least
Unable to acknowledge that we are but beasts
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Really enjoyed it, I think that what you're saying is all too true, your rythim was, IMO, pretty flawless.
I like that you use vocabulary to keep it moving rather than to impress with words that just don't belong, no one word stood out to me as being foreign in the context of your work as a whole.
definitly get to reviewing so that you can post more, and quickly please because I can't wait to read you future posts!
-Gen
I can really relate to your first one. Some of my poems are about that locked down feeling. When all you seem to be able to do is hope, wish and dream of better times. Its devastating to feel, so I know what you're saying.
Good use and words and imagery. I like it.
I really like these two pieces, the second one is probably my favourite but seriously you should post more on this site because i really enjoyed reading your kind of style, i have a similar style of rhyme going through mine so i find it very easy to read yours which leaves me with great images.
"O intellect! O reasoning! O "praiseworthy" things!
We are but puppets on nature's great strings
On nature's scale, our race is the least
Unable to acknowledge that we are but beasts"
That is brilliant, I really like it and im glad you didnt like copy and past any of those lines and try make a poem around them they pack much more of a punch when written only once and written together like that.
I look forward to your next post.
wow! that was amazing! it has great voice and i love it! good job!