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I am a Writer

by Catalyst

I am a writer,

Yes I am a writer,

Look at me, I can speak in rhyme,

And pace the words just in time,

Look at me,

The puppetmaster, the pantomime,

And I’m--

And I’m--

I’m a writer, yes,

And kindly praise,

Every paragraph, sentence and phrase,

Of my books, no matter what it says,

I am a writer,

So please do applaud,

My words, no matter how flawed,

And kindly ignore that I am a fraud,

And I’m--

And I’m--

Yes I am a fraud,

A coward and liar,

Yes play me a violin and tune up the choir,

Yes build me a pedestal higher and higher,

Look at me, look at me,

I can recognise that war is bad,

And oh, isn’t death so sad?

And I wrote it so well, might I add,

I’m a writer, yes,

High above all you sheep,

I’m the only one awake

In a world half asleep,

I am a Writer, and can’t you see,

That my writing is my vulnerability,

When I write, I impart a part of me,

So then-- Then I pretend to be.

A writer, and duly note,

That I’m entitled to grab the reader’s throat,

And throttle them by the cuff of their coat,

For criticising the words that I wrote,

That’s fine, isn’t it?

I wrote it after all,

I didn’t write those words just to see them fall,

This pedestal I’m on is far too tall,

And why shouldn’t it be?

I wrote it, after all.

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Points: 69
Reviews: 2

Fri Jul 07, 2017 7:10 pm
BismuthBorealis wrote a review...

A good poem! I love the story it tells and the repetition and mid sentence cutoffs are great and add good rhythm and flow, although the last line is a bit slow compared to the rest.
Satirical poems are just the best! I however can't say I'm a huge fan of the double dashes - But that's just my personal opinion.
I can just Imagine this poem being the lyrics to a song and if I were musically inclined I would even try it.

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126 Reviews

Points: 144
Reviews: 126

Sun May 07, 2017 9:08 pm
papillote wrote a review...

Hi, Catalyst, I loved this poem.
I liked its rhythm. For me, poetry, no matter the language, exists only so it can be declaimed. This piece looked like it would sound good and, after reading it aloud a few times, I confirm: it does.
I also liked the sentiment. Your poem was charmingly self-deprecating. But, then, so is your name. Like you completely bypassed the 'look at me, look at me' element in every writer's make-up.
I hope I will read you again very soon.

Catalyst says...

Thanks for the kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed!

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927 Reviews

Points: 124736
Reviews: 927

Sun May 07, 2017 7:00 pm
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alliyah wrote a review...

Hey there, I'm a fan of satirical writing so I thought I'd check this out.

Just a few thoughts here:

I'm not sure at all why "writer" becomes capitalized half way through, might be a typo?

You're rhyming is actually quite good throughout, it's got this sing-songy quality that builds like a little taunting rant about being a rider, and I just enjoyed the tone of this piece.

I especially liked the lines about the violin and the other about "entitled to grab the reader's throat" both are really striking visual metaphors, and I would have liked to see even more of this incorporated in. I felt like the image of "throttle them by the cuff of their coat" doesn't work quite as well (the mixed metaphor doesn't make sense to me) although I wonder if it was intentionally non-sensical because the line following is "criticzing the words that I wrote" if it's intended to invoke criticism I'd make a bit more crazy, and if not I'd make the metaphor more logical.

Actually this whole part of the poem made me a bit lost

"For criticizing the words that I wrote,
That’s fine, isn’t it?
I wrote it after all,
I didn’t write those words just to see them fall,
This pedestal I’m on is far to tall,"

Up to there I get it, but then I lose sight of the subject and conflict. So I think a bit of clarity there would be nice.

Your use of repetition is effective I think, in this case it doesn't add a ton of meaning to the poem itself (in my opinion) but it does sound nice to the ear and adds continuity to the piece which are both good aspects.

Overall, an enjoyable and somewhat humorous read!

Best of luck,

This review courtesy of

Catalyst says...

Thanks for the review!

alliyah says...

You're very welcome! :)

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745 Reviews

Points: 1626
Reviews: 745

Sun May 07, 2017 6:58 pm
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Lumi wrote a review...


I didn't mind the rhyme in this piece, I don't consider the meter presented a hard meter due to inconsistencies, but the content is lacking because it's all set up as a defense work in the vein of rappers defending their rap. Allow me to say: the only person you should defend your poetry against is yourself; no reader needs this. For this reason, the content is boring and emotionless.

The sentiments presented are self-important and needlessly so; instead of building yourself up and tearing down everyone else, just reflect on the state of everything beyond your work. Find the smallest detail to bring alive and make it paramount. But don't build a pedestal to watch folks fall from places they were not to begin with.

So how to remedy this--take it back to the drawing board. Burn the self-importance. Build a narrative around the qualities of the offenders that have come against you and how you've overcome. That's how you show yourself to be big, or strong, or a great writer--whatever. Not by saying "I'm a great writer." That's a Trumpism.

Hope this helps,

Catalyst says...

The point of the entire poem was that the speaker thinks of themselves as above others (Not myself), apologies for the confusion.

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84 Reviews

Points: 350
Reviews: 84

Sun May 07, 2017 6:52 pm
DragonNoir wrote a review...

Hello! DragonNoir here for a review!

Well. This is quite deep and also kind of relatable. I really like how you portray a writer as someone who believes they rank higher than other people and as someone who thinks they deserve to be praised. I personally am guilty of the latter, but, let's be honest, who doesn't want to be praised?
I really like the language and structure of this poem, the rhyme pattern is also very effective and gives the poem a nice flow.

Overall, an amazing piece of poetry. To improve... Just keep doing what you're doing!
I hope this review helped :)

Catalyst says...

Thanks for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed.

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.
— Helen Keller