Published July 26, 2011
The hush of holiness entombed within
this dome where pageantry and faith have wed.
This cup of blood, atonement shed for sin;
the candles burn remembrance for the dead.
A thousand years of saints' and sinners' prayers
rise up upon the incense of the Mass,
yet linger on the stillness of the air
reflected in the story-stainéd glass.
The crucifix, the crux of faith and art
like wings of cherubim, o'er altar spans.
The worshippers form crosses on their hearts
and Levi's collared heirs conduct the chants.
Venite Adoremus, it is said,
Come venerate the Lord with holy dread.
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Beautifully written! Great title to emote the practise.
My wish was to clarify;
This dome where pageantry and faith have wed.
The only reason, because I love an air of mystery in a poem. But I do not see the emotion here fitting. Do u mean pageantry as in like almost a mockery? Non the less, love the structure. It is truly beautiful!
Hi,
This is beautiful and you handle the form skillfully and effectively. Your use of language is great, and the piece flows nicely as a whole. I especially enjoyed "The hush of holiness entombed within
this dome where pageantry and faith have wed."
and
"worshippers form crosses on their hearts",
"candles brun remembrance for the dead",
"The crucifix, the crux of faith and art",
and the use of Latin.
I'd change the semi-colon after "sin" to a full-stop and start a new sentence after it as there seems to be no reason for it.
I'd look at "stainéd" and "o'er". I know you're using these archaisms to fit the meter but I find they jar a bit and make this too conciously poetic. I'd find different words rather than altering words.
A pleasure.
Hope this helps,
Jas
That was a really beautiful poem that captured all the solemnity of the cathedral and all the ritual of the religion. I am catholic but I've never actually been in a genuine cathedral
I don't think this really captures the purpose, real or imagined, of drinking the "blood of Christ." I think it would be little more striking if you examine these two ideas juxstaposing, the act of cannibalism mixed with the veneration of christ; mixing the animal aspect with the chastity that is mass.
This was beautiful and poignant.
Some of these images are a little tired and stereotypical, at least at first glance. Stained-glass windows, crucifixes, candles, cherubims and the like. But that is the cathedral-- and you put a newish spin on a centuries-old practice.
Also the last line was exquisite.
I've never experienced a mass quite like this, but the individual elements are there. The only nitpick I would have was not mentioning Mary; she seems to be quite prevalent in all the catholic churches I've been to.
Basically a beautiful poem capturing the essence of archaic catholic traditions.