*LOCKED*
Plagiarism.
I loved it!
As always I don't have anything constructive to say because I'm not really a poet 
but I thought I would let you know that I read it and loved it. I always like to know when someone enjoys my work 
You get a gold star!
Merry Christmas!
Sofi.
Hey!
I saw this floatin' around and I thought that I should check it out.
Hmm, I have a love/don't like relationship with this poem. I am all for the majestic and odd poems but this was infested with sugary sweets. Sometimes, you must render your urge to indulge and eat only the meaningful stuff. As Squall asked, what is the significance of this poem? Sure it can mean a lot of things, but what does it mean to you? If you portray that in this poem, then I think this can be greater then it already is.
Favorite Stanza:
They told us to look
away from the flames,
to ignore showering silver
and mandarin green settling
on our eyelashes.
But we didn’t.
I am a deep lover for randomess. Glitter does make everything better, doesn't it? The poem goes from happy and joyful to moody and depressed. Reminds me of kindergarten when we decorated with glitter untill the teacher told us art time was over.
I liked it, but I can't say it was perfect. I agree with many points that Squall made, and think that most of it was pointless.
However, many readers enjoy such things. (i.e. this poem made me think of the works of Lewis Carroll)
Try to make more sense of your poetry, and if not, then nonsense poetry is fine too (again, think Lewis Carroll) but try not to stray to far from your original idea.
Keep up the good work.
*anti-pop
CastlesInTheSky wrote:Explosion at the Glitter Factory
They told us to look
away from the flames,
to ignore showering silver
and mandarin green settling
on our eyelashes.
But we didn’t.
Instead we fought with explosion debris,
unfurled our tongues to the sky,
grabbed handfuls of powder-puff pink,
our collarbones smeared
with glittering soot. The dog
rolling around in ruby red ash.
Everywhere the urge
to write, to sweep away dirt with
slick little fingers.
To message the dead and the living. The lost
found themselves with us,
sledging through metallic drifts. Laughing.
Raiding the orchard for apples,
charred, sweetened.
Until they hosed down telegraph poles,
scooped out sodden mud, viscera
from gutters. Scrubbed our faces raw.
We went back to looking away.
The only sign; shimmering dust
whenever a hand stretched out
to ruffle our heads.
I'm back from lunch.
They told us to look
away from the flames,
to ignore showering silver
and mandarin green settling
Instead we fought with explosion debris,
unfurled our tongues to the sky,
grabbed handfuls of powder-puff pink,
our collarbones smeared
with glittering soot. The dog
rolling around in ruby red ash.
Everywhere the urge
to write, to sweep away dirt with
slick little fingers.
To message the dead and the living. The lost
found themselves with us,
sledging through metallic drifts. Laughing.
Raiding the orchard for apples,
charred, sweetened.
Until they hosed down telegraph poles,
scooped out sodden mud, viscera
from gutters. Scrubbed our faces raw.
We went back to looking away.
The only sign; shimmering dust
whenever a hand stretched out
to ruffle our heads.
Hey there Sarah 
They told us to look
away from the flames,
to ignore showering silver
and mandarin green settling
on our eyelashes.
But we didn’t.
I adore that stanza, it's so beautiful. I just love it!
Instead we fought with explosion debris,
unfurled our tongues to the sky,
That sentence made me laugh until I cried. It's so good Sarah x
grabbed handfuls of powder-puff pink,
our collarbones smeared
with glittering soot. The dog
rolling around in ruby red ash.
Hahah I love this poem
Everywhere the urge
to write, to sweep away dirt with
slick little fingers.
To message the dead and the living. The lost
found themselves with us,
sledging through metallic drifts. Laughing.
Raiding the orchard for apples,
charred, sweetened.
I completely adore that stanza Sarah. I am being deadly serious here, I loved it!
Until they hosed down telegraph poles,
scooped out sodden mud, viscera
from gutters. Scrubbed our faces raw.
We went back to looking away.
The only sign; shimmering dust
whenever a hand stretched out
to ruffle our heads.
[/i]Ok Sarah, I absolutely loved this poem with all my heart. It's so beautiful and random at the same time, how Sarah? How?! Please make a mistake, a tiny tiny one I utterly adore your poetry. It's charming, a pleasure to read.
-Kirsten xxx
Hmm. I like it. It's sort of like a little revolution of happiness, but then it was subdued, but you never know when it'll happen again. It made me smile as I was reading it.
Maybe it's just me, but the first letter of each line in a poem is usually capitalized. Also, I found it a tad bit choppy. But overall, great job!
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