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Young Writers Society



The Vampire's Story Chp.6

by Cassie9960


ATTENTION! This is Cassie, there will be a second book out in a few days, it is called The Vampire's Story Volume 2: The Truth. I hope you will read it, so enjoy this last Chp.

I stared at Steven, empty minded. I looked at Andrew for advice, but he wouldn't meet my eyes. Why am cursed to love two brothers? I pleaded in my mind. I ignored the question and just said, "Well, where am I going to live? If I move home, I'll end up eating my mother!"

"Well, we'll just tell everyone in town that you were attacked by an animal, and that you are dead." Andrew said, finally looking at me.

The next morning Steven knocked on my door. "Hey," he said. "Listen, about last night, you don't have to answer me. I already know what you'd say anyway."

"Good, god you put a lot of pressure on me when you asked," I said, hiding his face from view, knowing there would be tears in his eyes.

"Why would you say no, anyway?" he asked, meeting my eyes.

"B-because," I stammered, " I love somebody else,"

"Oh," he turned away and left, empty minded.

I strut out to the garden and looked questionably at Andrew, who was trembling next to a bed of roses. He turned toward me, his lips parted to speak, "This is Ashley's grave,"

I knelt down next to him and he slipped his hand in mine, squeezing it for warmth. Leaves flung themselves from tree branches and spilled out on the grass. They began to spell out the words 'I love you'. I glanced at Andrew and met his lips, I let our lips part as I whispered in his ear, "I love you too,"

He got on one knee and pulled a small diamond ring from his pocket, he tried to speak but I shushed him. "Yes!" I squealed allowing him to slide the ring on my finger. I embraced him in a hug and smooched him on the lips. "Andrew, I still have to tell my mother I 'm dead!" I remembered suddenly.

"Then we'll just have to kill you." I allowed him to break my neck as I became limp in his arms. Although I was dead, I was really sleeping so I could hear everything that was going on around me. Andrew loaded me into his car and drove to my house. Carrying my body he rang the doorbell.

"Yes," my mother said squeaking the door, "Oh my god! Is my daughter dead? I thought she was at Abby's house! Drop her right now you animal drop HER!" Tears slid down her face a she put a hand on my forehead.

"She got attacked by a panther, mam." Andrew said, showing my mother the bite marks.

"I want you to take her body, if you don't think I'm heartbroken I am! I will inform everyone she's dead, now get out of here! I never want to see your dirty face again!" she whacked the door in his face and locked it.

"Callie, wake up!" Andrew shook me awake once we were in the car again. I sprang up.

"How'd she take?" I asked rubbing my neck.

"Pretty hard,"

"Oh,well she didn't want a funeral or anything, did she?"

"Heck no! She acted as if she didn't care after she cried for a second!"

I smiled, I loved my mother but she didn't really care about me. She was never there for me and she didn't even know that I was eighteen. She probably still thought I was ten!

When we arrived at the house I waltzed into the garden to show Steven my ring. His eyes were a violent shade of red and he had dug up the roses. Where the roses once were there was a small blue coffin. "Oh my god, Steven what did you do?" I screamed at him.

"S-she called to me, she told me that there was danger, she told me to help her out of the coffin. She told me she loved me, she said she had to be set free. Free from you.." he sounded crazy, his fingers shook as he pointed to me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, flabbergasted.

"You're evil! You're possessing her, I love her. I love you too. Evil, evil, evil!" he jumped up and grabbed my shirt.

"No I'm not!" I screamed pushing him away. He was possessed at this moment, he had to be.

"She needs your necklace, she needs it to live. To come back to me. She will overcome you, you will be destroyed. Forever. She needs that necklace, to join me." he ripped the necklace Andrew had given me off my neck and held it up to the sky. I saw a ghostly hand come by and swoop it out of his hand. "Andrew, you're brother is freaking out!" I screamed running towards Andrew as he stood starring at the hand too.

"No, Ashley don't do it!" he screamed pushing me aside, trying to grab the necklace from the hand. The ghost put it on and I could feel myself fading. "Andrew!" I screamed trying to grab him. The more I faded, the more a beautiful young woman began to appear. I became weaker, "Andrew!" I screamed with what was left of my voice.

He looked at me, tears pouring down his face. I could tell I was no longer visible, because he began to search for me. I tired to run but I was being sucked to something, the coffin. Andrew ran to a wooden box and snapped it to pieces. He grabbed one of them and ran towards the girl. When he approached her, she smiled. He planted the stake into her chest, almost missing her heart. I could see her losing balance, she began to fade. I looked down at my hands and saw color begin to crawl back to me. I could feel my legs form and I ran towards Andrew to embrace him in a hug.

He scowled at me and ran into the house. Steven did the same and I was alone in the garden with the dying girl. "Who are you?" I asked my voice bitter.

"Ashley," the girl strangled out.

"Why did you try to kill me?" I questioned.

"I needed life, my love was so strong for them. I love them, and now I can love no more." she faded away as she said those words to me. I knew Andrew loved her, and Steven did too. I wanted what's best for them, so I ran to the pile of stakes and picked one up. "Steven, Andrew, I love you!" I screeched, and then I planted the stake in my heart.

The last thing I heard was Andrew's voice, "No!!" he screamed. I could see just enough and I saw him standing over me. He placed a hand on my chest and I could see part of his soul pour out of him. It sunk into my chest and I twitched. He fell down next to me, and we laid there and died, together.


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36 Reviews


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Sun Oct 24, 2010 9:48 pm
Cassie9960 says...



Sorry! I wrote this a long time ago and reading over this I agree but thanks for the reviews anyways!




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Thu Nov 12, 2009 6:44 am
Addawen19 wrote a review...



Ok, like whoa and no, just whoa and no.
I'm going to be harsh, and I really don't like being mean but...common! What the heck, what was the entire 5 chapters leading up to if she was just going to kill herself, and like oh my god, why would you have a girl kill herself over some boys?
I for one don't think that's such a great idea, if you do want to kill your "Main Character" make it a selfless act, not killing herself over a dumb boy.
I know everyone who has read this, myself included, told you to fix the flatness of your characters, and you really don't seem to be understanding that simple correction.
So here's my tip to you.
Take a pen and notebook, and write down how you see yor chatacters.
Example:
Name: Jenny Cooper, 5'9, long honey blonde hair, violet eyes, a southern accent, bites her nails when excited or nervous about something, gets lost when she drives, is on the varsity soccer team in high school.
Just things like that, write them down how you see your characters, it helps me all the time, it's even fun.
SO before you post another Vampire Story, do that, see the characters in your head and write it out on paper then type it out onto here.




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Points: 1694
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Thu Nov 12, 2009 2:38 am
roobosh says...



ihave only read this chapter but im a little confused as to why she kills herself atg the end. There doesn't seem to be any real motive.





Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
— Groucho Marx