Awesome! I love it.
It reminds me of the phrase " Where there's a will there's a way".
I'm happy for Kali. By the way Nala seems to be a very kind and generous.
It was mid-winter as a young girl by the streetside it was too cold for anyone to come outside and too foggy for anyone to see her, she was too weak to walk and sick to talk.
She slowly closed her eyes on what she figured would be her last day, she laid back against the wall, and just when she was about to close her eyes she was approached.
"Oh, Darling! Are you okay?"
The young girl didn't respond she just glanced up, the woman saw she was pale and tired so she took her home.
"HENRY! Make some tea!"
She yelled as she walked through the door she laid the girl on the couch then her husband Henry walked in
"Why is there a dead person on my couch?"
"She's not dead but she will be if we don't help her. Now get started on that tea."
"Yes ma'am."
The woman looked down at the girl and smiled
"You're going to be okay."
She then grabbed a quilt and laid it on her.
She bandaged her wounds, tended to her illness, and fed her.
"Here it's roasted chicken with mashed potatoes and a cup of tea."
As the young girl began to eat she began to smile
"What is this drink?"
"It's tea."
"Oh."
"Do you not like tea? If not I'll make some hot chocolate."
"No, tea is fine besides I've never had chocolate."
"Well, you will tonight. Now tell me darling do you have a name?"
"I've always been called a runt."
"Well, you're not. What if I named you Kali?"
"Kali's a great name. Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being the first person to love me."
"Trust me Kali they'll be more."
"What's your name?"
"My name is Nala."
Kali looked at Nala and smiled
"I like that name."
"Now I'm going to head back into the kitchen hollar if you need or want anything."
Kali laid back and smiled
"Finally!"
She thought
"A home, a family, food. I'M FINALLY SAFE!"
She smiled as happy tears ran down her cheeks...
But it seemed to good to be true....
Awesome! I love it.
It reminds me of the phrase " Where there's a will there's a way".
I'm happy for Kali. By the way Nala seems to be a very kind and generous.
This reminds me of that Disney short, "The Little Match Girl" (Totally recommend if you haven't seen!)
Anyway, my name is Wren and here's my review.
To begin, amazing story. Though a pretty short read, there was so much packed into it it felt almost surreal. Also, having never eaten chocolate is so sad 
. All of the characters are amazingly developed, especially for such a small read. I can easily distinguish all of their personalities, and that's such a cool thing to have in a first chapter. Will definitely see about checking out any others!
10/10, very entertaining read!
Hello hello! SkyVibes here to read and review. To make sense of my review, I read and review as I go lol.
So I really already like the first sentence. Already I want to know more about the girl and I like how you mention just how cold it is. My one critique for this though, is that the sentence seems a little long. I think I could maybe be broken up into three sentences. But again, I love the beginning!
The second sentence helps draw that emotion even further! Like the first sentence, it's clear that this girl isn't in great circumstances but now here she is accepting her fate knowing she might not see tomorrow! I'm so glad someone saw her and decided to help!
I think when the woman yells for Henry (love the name by the way) this doesn't need to be split like you have it. You can write something like.... as the woman walked through the door she shouted to her husband, "Henry! Make some tea!" She then aided the girl to help her lie down on the couch.
You can 100% use what I wrote if you like or completely disregard it too. This is just my personal suggestion!
I like the names you've picked! I'm curious if there is a history to Nala for why she chose Kali.
Overall, I think this is a very good story and i can't wait to read more! My one main critique is that I think it's a bit fast but it might help with character description whether that be characteristic-wise or action-wise. For example, I already love the characters but I don't know what they look like.
But again this is all my own personal opinions and suggestions so do with it as you would like 
Also the ending is so good for this chapter. I think the last sentence can either be good or sad. Good because Kali now has a place where she can stay and be warmed. Live another day even! But sad because maybe it really is too good to be true.
Soar high and keep on writing! I can't wait to read more!
-SkyVibes
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: This is quite the first chapter here. Love the general vibes up to now. Very potent beginning and ending there with quite a little bit of mystery to the whole thing and so many questions being asked and I love it.
Anyway let's get right to it,
It was mid-winter as a young girl by the streetside it was too cold for anyone to come outside and too foggy for anyone to see her, she was too weak to walk and sick to talk.
She slowly closed her eyes on what she figured would be her last day, she laid back against the wall, and just when she was about to close her eyes she was approached.
"Oh, Darling! Are you okay?"
The young girl didn't respond she just glanced up, the woman saw she was pale and tired so she took her home.
"HENRY! Make some tea!"
She yelled as she walked through the door she laid the girl on the couch then her husband Henry walked in
"Why is there a dead person on my couch?"
"She's not dead but she will be if we don't help her. Now get started on that tea."
"Yes ma'am."
The woman looked down at the girl and smiled
"You're going to be okay."
She then grabbed a quilt and laid it on her.
She bandaged her wounds, tended to her illness, and fed her.
"Here it's roasted chicken with mashed potatoes and a cup of tea."
As the young girl began to eat she began to smile
"What is this drink?"
"It's tea."
"Oh."
"Do you not like tea? If not I'll make some hot chocolate."
"No, tea is fine besides I've never had chocolate."
"Well, you will tonight. Now tell me darling do you have a name?"
"I've always been called a runt."
"Well, you're not. What if I named you Kali?"
"Kali's a great name. Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being the first person to love me."
"Trust me Kali they'll be more."
"What's your name?"
"My name is Nala."
Kali looked at Nala and smiled
"I like that name."
"Now I'm going to head back into the kitchen hollar if you need or want anything."
Kali laid back and smiled
"Finally!"
She thought
"A home, a family, food. I'M FINALLY SAFE!"
She smiled as happy tears ran down her cheeks...
But it seemed to good to be true....
Hello, friend!
A slightly belated welcome to YWS!! I saw your work in the Green Room and figured I’d check it out!
Per my interpretation, this was a very interesting start to a novel! There were some great things taking place here... but there were also some things that could be worked on. Nonetheless, I enjoyed my time reading this!
Brief Summary:
It was mid-winter as a young girl by the streetside it was too cold for anyone to come outside and too foggy for anyone to see her, she was too weak to walk and sick to talk.
It was mid-winter, and as a young girl by the streetside, it was too cold for anyone to come outside and too foggy for anyone to see her; she was too weak to walk and too sick to talk.
She slowly closed her eyes on what she figured would be her last day, she laid back against the wall, and just when she was about to close her eyes, she was approached.
"Why is there a dead person on my couch?"
"She's not dead, but she will be if we don't help her. Now get started on that tea."
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