Published August 6, 2011
Pastell was laying on his bed in the late afternoon on a Friday night, he didn’t have any major plans for the night and wasn’t really in the mood to hang out with many people. After a long argument with his ex girlfriend his patience was at an all time low and he just had plans to sit at home and watch some baseball on TV when his doorbell rang Pastell got up to head to the door to see who it was when he saw his best friends Kevion and Jamel.Pastell opened the door and let his friends in and they all came in and went to his room started chilling and talking “So what y’all over here for?” asked Pastell.
“Man we about to go to this crazy party, you need to get ready so we can go” responded Kevion, “Man, I aint going to no party tonight, I’m not in the mood for partying.” Shot back Pastell as he looked at them with his usual straight face when he made his mind up on something. “Man just come to the party, it’s going to be wild and it’s going to be mad fun, you owe me, remember that party I went to that I didn’t want to back in April?” Shot back Kevion knowing that now was the time he would be able to throw that back in his face; he was looking for the right time to do it.
Pastell just looked at him with his face slowly creeping into a smile as he remembered the party the two attended just a few months ago. Pastell owed Kevion so he responded with “Cool, go chill in the other room, while I shower and get ready” Kevion and Jamel headed out into the other room and he heard the main room TV turn to ESPN.
Pastell changed clothes and threw on some dark denim jeans with brown trim and designs on the back pockets, with a cream color shirt, and cream and brown loafers, he came back into the room to find Kevion and Jamel drinking some juice and watching TV.
This was nothing out of the normal, the three were so closed friends that whenever they were over each other houses they helped their selves to whatever they wanted. Pastell was 6’5 dark skinned with neat fresh twisted shoulder length dreads that were dipped in honey at the tips and a musical physique he gained for the years or playing sports and running the streets.
Kevion was 6’3 dark skinned with shoulder length dreads with purple and red in them he was bulkier than the other two but he wasn’t as toned as Pastel. Jamel was 6’6 brown skinned low cut, with tall slinky physique which reminded you of a soulja boy. After deciding they were all going to take Kevion car they all got in and headed towards the party, half way across town Pastell realized he didn’t know whose party they were headed to and he hadn’t heard about a party recently and he usually heard about every party that went down.
“Man, who party we going to?” asked Pastell as he looked over from the passenger set to Kevion. He just smiled and Pastell knew that smile wasn’t going to be one he liked very much, after they reached the north side of town where Kevion lived they passed his house and then it hit Pastell they were headed to Kierra’s house.
Kierra was two years older than Pastell but he had a crush on her that nobody knew about besides Kevion and Jamel. Pastell gave Kevion an evil glare while Kevion and Jamel snickered together. Kierra was 5’8 with long toned legs that made you just picture them wrapped around your waist and a beautiful caramel complexion with short black sleek hair that reached her shoulders she had pretty soft brown eyes and a gorgeous smile that made you smile whether you were mad or happy.
While Pastell sat in deep thought about Kierra he looked up and realized they were pulling into her house and it was already packed with a bunch of people. After Pastell got out the car he dapped a few friends up and headed into the garage where the party really seemed to be booming. The DJ was one of his other friends who he stopped and talked to, after a few minutes of talking to some people he hadn’t seen in a long time Pastell started dancing with some females and having a good time.
After finishing up his 10th dance of the night it was around 12:45 and he decided he would head into the house to get something to drink opening the side door to the garage that connected to the house he found himself face to face with Kierra. He felt his heart jump and started beating excitedly “What’s up Ki” asked Pastell after he gave her a hug he stepped back and smiled and checked her out in one long look she was wearing Citizens of Humanity Avedon light blue low rise skinny faded jeans and a purple kaliko short sleeve side wrap shirt with a matching necklace and some purple, white and gray Jordan VII
“Nothing, I see you looking fly tonight” she responded with a smile “Shit, you the one that’s fancy ma, but when Ima get my dance tonight? I been waiting on you” “is that right? Well if you lucky you might get your chance” she responded and moved past him with a soft brush up against him their eyes met and a smile was shown by each one. Pastell headed to the kitchen to get something to drink while pouring his drink he was reflecting on the conversation they just had; “I feel like I handled that well” thought Pastell as he finished pouring some vodka in his cup and headed back out to the party.
“Where you been at man, these girls getting crazy” asked Kevion when he saw Pastell enter back into the room with his cup in his hand “Man, I just ran into Kierra in the kitchen” “Word, what happened?” “Nothing to major just a little conversation” Pastell and Kevion was having a conversation about Kierra when Jeremiah- Birthday Sex came on, Pastell felt his hand being grabbed, it was dark and he couldn’t really see who was leading him away, he handed Kevion his cup as he was pulled away and led into the corner of the room, once he got there he realized by the height of the girl that it was Kierra who grabbed him, once she had him in the corner she began dancing on him slow grinding and winding.
Pastell found himself pushing back against her with his hands on her hips moving his with her winds and grinds. Both of them were in their own world and both forget where they were she turned around to face him as they continued to dance on each other the look in her eyes let him know that she was in a zone he never seen here before Pastell turned her back around and bent her over as they continued to dance when she stood up he slowly kissed her neck and whispered in her ear “you got me wanting you bad” in a seductive voice.
Kierra grabbed his hand and led him into the house and upstairs where her room was entering the room Pastell could tell that Purple was her favorite color, she had purple all over the bed and pillow cases and a lot of purple things around her room on her wall she had posters of Derrick Rose and Carmelo Anthony “so you’re a big basketball fan?” asked Pastell as he sat down on her bed as she closed and locked the door she looked at the posters he was staring at “yeah, I’m a big fan” Kierra crossed the room and sat down beside Pastell on the bed. “You have a really beautiful smile” stated Pastell as he leaned in and kissed her on her lips; she just responded with a smile and other kiss on his lips the kiss turned into a full fledge.
“You know I like you right?” asked Pastell “Nah, I never noticed that” responded Kierra and Pastell could hear the sarcasm in her voice. Pastell kissed her again and laid her back as he climbed on top of her and began kissing her slowly and kissing her neck. He grabbed then bottom of his shirt and begin lifting it up until he had it all the way off.
Pausing to appreciate her body he noticed she had her stomach pierced with a purple star and a black lace bra that he estimated was around 38C. Pastell began kissing her stomach and working his way up to her bra as he unhooked it he saw her titties slide out and sit perfectly on her frame as she laid down he began kissing them each and took the left one in his mouth and began sucking and softly biting it her nipple while his right hand was gently rubbing her left one and twisting her nipple soft but hard enough to get a moan to escape her lips every few minutes he would switch over between each breast while he used his hands to unhook her jeans and loosen the zipper. He paused for a second and began sliding them down until she was lying in bed with nothing but black lace thong.
Pastell began tracing his finger on her inner thigh he could feel the heat seeping out of her thongs he began kissing her legs down to her calves and back up to her thighs, he began kissing the inside of her thighs grabbing each side of her thong he pulls it down. Pastell stood up and began undressing while he looked at her on the bed rubbing her titties, she was so beautiful that he couldn’t even fathom the fact that he had her here naked in the bed. Pastell climbed on the bed and pulled Kierra on top of him so that her back was facing him.
He bent her over and pulled her ass back to her face and slid his tongue inside her pussy and began eating her while she was grinding her pussy into his face, she could feel her juice leaking out onto his face and dripping on his chest and chin and she felt his tongue sliding inside her licking her pussy walls until she felt him touch her g-spot with his tongue she was loving the feeling she was getting she slowly began to slide his dick deep into her mouth and lick the underside of his dick while she was sucking on it.
She felt his tongue lick her spot while his finger began massaging her clit simultaneously she began moaning around his dick while she tried her best to deep throat him she felt the pressure building up and she began cumming and squirting everywhere Pastell grabbed her hips and began drinking all her cum as she moaned loud with his dick still in her mouth.
Pastell moved and put Kierra on her side and put one leg on his shoulder and she slowly began to slide his dick inside her making her moan while he reached the bottom of her pussy he began rubbing her clit while stroked inside beating her with long deep strokes every time he went in she released a moan out of her mouth “baby you in my guts” moaned Kierra as she began rubbing her clit and nipples “where you feel it at baby” asked Pastell as he continued beating her insides. She rubber her lower stomach “right here” she moaned as began going faster and deeper inside of her Pastell pulled out of her and seen his dick shining with her pussy juice.
He put her in missionary and lifted her legs until they were on his shoulder and slid back inside her while he began kissing and sucking her titties while he fucked her harder and harder he pushed her legs back to her shoulders and her lower half was in the air and he was able to get deeper inside her till fucking her harder and deeper while she moaned and thrashed on the bed the room was getting hotter and humid as her moans were getting louder all you could hear was her moans and his balls as the slammed against her as he went in deeper and deeper with every stroke he gave her “baby I’m about to cum again” she yelled he sped up and began fucking her like he was possessed he felt her pussy muscles began to cling onto his dick and squeeze and he felt her pussy getting hotter and wetter he knew she had just came again.
Kierra got on top and began kissing Pastell as she lowered herself on his dick and began riding him slow while they kissed, Pastell began playing with her nipples and smacking her ass he grabbed her hips and began slamming her up and down on his dick both his hands were gripping her ass and every time she came down he would push up against her thrust making his dick go deeper inside her when she hit the bottom she would grind on his dick and come back up, he was love the view of her pussy making his dick disappear inside her.
Pastell pulled out and put her in doggy style and began eating her pussy some more while sliding two fingers inside of her playing with her while he was sucking her pussy and rubbing hit tongue against her clit while she moaned and winded her hips he lined his dick up with her pussy and sank back inside of her till he hit the bottom he smacked her ass and she began thrown it back onto him he took a hand and placed it under her and began rubbing her clit.
After about 10 minutes he pushed her torso down on the bed lifting her ass higher as he began going faster and deeper insider her he could see her pussy juice beginning to leak out of her and drip down her thighs he used two fingers to wipe it up and stuck his fingers inside his mouth and sucked her sweet juice as he sped up his thrusts inside her he grabbed her hair and pulled and began to kiss on her neck as he smacked her ass and watched the ripple effect it had on it as it wiggled and continued with every deep stroke. She felt full like thanksgiving dinner and her mouth was open but no sounds was coming out he smacked her ass hard again and she let out a long soft moan he felt her body tense up and felt his dick push out she was squirting again he began to suck on her pussy until she was finished he felt himself about to cum he flipped her over and began cumming on her titties.
They both laid down breathing hard and bodies covered in sweat, Pastell leaned over and gave her a soft kiss on her lips and they both began to get dressed and head back downstairs to the party.
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Hey..
Just kidding, but you know what I mean. The beginning was kind of boring, and that's bad, because the first few sentences need to really grab the reader's attention, so they want to continue reading. And, there was so much telling, not showing.
This really should be rated. When you're submitting, there's an option to select 12+, 16+ or 18+.
Okay, so this is going to be kiinda harsh. First of all, there was no story! As in, what really happened? It sounds like just another boring go to a party and mess around kind of thing. You should make something happen, something out of the ordinary, something that doesn't usually happen. Like maybe the girl turns out to be a vampire.
Ouch. You don't want to tell the reader all this. The reader doesn't want to be told. Show us. Read a few articles on show, don't tell, and you'll get what I mean. Show us what the characters were wearing or what they looked like, don't tell us exactly everything.
When people are talking, don't put what everyone said in one line. Each person gets their own line. For example:
Try using 'said' more often. If you use words like 'responded' too often, it breaks the flow and makes the writing sound kind of awkward. Also, the dialogue needs work. It sounds too fake. Again, read a little about dialogue.
Overall, it needs a lot of work, but I hope I've helped.
I think you should warn the reader if you're going to have sex in your story. Just a thought. Anyway, noticed a few errors. Please spell out numbers. The title doesn't go with the story. Maybe rename it? It's up to you, it's your story.
Wow, I didn't realize I was reading porn.There were some run-ons and other grammatical things, but that's not that important. The thing is, sex and everything is okay in stories if there is a purpose for it, you know? I thought this story didn't have a clear message or anything. I don't know. I'm not trying to be an asshole or anything. I just wasn't all that impressed. I wasn't really expecting this. Maybe you should make the title less vague.