he can not hear

Smirks the fireball launched from evil, walking sloppy, approached her.
People flee from the horrible cruelty that pierces the air, a cry is widespread, but the man does not perceive sound, ears ringing, like those based on the hand grenades.
The shoulders are looking space between the transience of who seems to have lost the moment, incredulous stares penetrate the blood rising in the eyes of the crowds without tears, that is directed toward the thirsty evil.
The fireball screams sadness, is ready for his run.
The man laughs, he laughs and laughs again.
The language wiper lips, hand combed his beard, the lighter rough scrapes on his jacket.
Ears still ringing and ringing, he can not hear.
he can not hear.

Comments & reviews · 5
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User avatar
CannonBallBaker Comment

Ladypurple wrote:

i will repeat it again. I am Italian, it is obvious that it is not grammatically correct in English.
these translations are made by a machine translation, taken from Italian.

Ah... I didn't see that anywhere on this... Sorry.
~Ladypurple



Don't worry, it's ok. :)

User avatar
LadyPurple
Comment


i will repeat it again. I am Italian, it is obvious that it is not grammatically correct in English.
these translations are made by a machine translation, taken from Italian.

Ah... I didn't see that anywhere on this... Sorry.
~Ladypurple

User avatar
CannonBallBaker Comment

Ladypurple wrote:
CannonBallBaker wrote:
Smirks the fireball launched from evil, walking sloppy, approached her.
People flee from the horrible cruelty that pierces the air, a cry is widespread, but the man does not perceive sound, ears ringing, like those based on the hand grenades.
The shoulders are looking space between the transience of who seems to have lost the moment, incredulous stares penetrate the blood rising in the eyes of the crowds without tears, that is directed toward the thirsty evil.
The fireball screams sadness, is ready for his run.
The man laughs, he laughs and laughs again.
The language wiper lips, hand combed his beard, the lighter rough scrapes on his jacket.
Ears still ringing and ringing, he can not hear.
he can not hear.

OK. First, maybe you should capitalize "he" in the title. Second,... well... Maybe it's because I didn't understand it. But I don't know what to say. Sorry, Cannon, but I half understood what this was about. Maybe if you worked on it, the grammar, spelling, puncuation, the works. Then I would be able to review properly. I do not mean for that to come across as mean or rude in any way.
~Ladypurple.




i will repeat it again. I am Italian, it is obvious that it is not grammatically correct in English.
these translations are made by a machine translation, taken from Italian.

User avatar
LadyPurple
Review

CannonBallBaker wrote:
Smirks the fireball launched from evil, walking sloppy, approached her.
People flee from the horrible cruelty that pierces the air, a cry is widespread, but the man does not perceive sound, ears ringing, like those based on the hand grenades.
The shoulders are looking space between the transience of who seems to have lost the moment, incredulous stares penetrate the blood rising in the eyes of the crowds without tears, that is directed toward the thirsty evil.
The fireball screams sadness, is ready for his run.
The man laughs, he laughs and laughs again.
The language wiper lips, hand combed his beard, the lighter rough scrapes on his jacket.
Ears still ringing and ringing, he can not hear.
he can not hear.

OK. First, maybe you should capitalize "he" in the title. Second,... well... Maybe it's because I didn't understand it. But I don't know what to say. Sorry, Cannon, but I half understood what this was about. Maybe if you worked on it, the grammar, spelling, puncuation, the works. Then I would be able to review properly. I do not mean for that to come across as mean or rude in any way.
~Ladypurple.



If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.
— Jane Austen