Published November 22, 2010
God lightning me, because I have sinned,
from every perspective, from every side.
I renounce without reserve the primordial gift,
maybe this is,
my crime more serious,
what triggers the wrath of God in larger,
in one who is, by
that, just a Santa Claus.
And here we are before this time,
it delivered to the sudden loss,
and right now that our eyes
reflect the wrath of heaven heavenly
even God has abandoned us.
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Thank you very much for the compliments, it's always a pleasure to find someone who may be of interest.
I love the first stanza because besides its powerful phrasing I was left with the dual interpretation of being lightninged and of sinning from every "side" at the same time.
Your second stanza should be revised. It seems like the first three lines are their own sentence and the last three are a question that deserve the appropriate mark. "maybe this is, / my crime more serious," I love these lines and the thoughts they provoke.
The last stanza is very interesting and concludes strongly with the luring title. Great poem!