Young Writers Society

Hey there CandlelightKitty28! Selina here from DoubleRiders to review your work.

First off I will start by saying that it’s good to see writers who take the time to think a bit while expressing their emotions. Poetry is beautiful, but a lot of people write it and the poem sounds whiny or cliche. Emotion is a big part of poetry, but so is patience. You need patience to sit and think about the best way (and most unique way) to express your emotions. Although using the rose is done so much in love/break up poems, you had a unique touch to yours which was good. I was a little confused with the whole “seahorse” thing, as I see most people were. And also the wooden fishing boat looking delicious... sharks eat meat and usually only destroy boats to get the people inside The last five lines were a bit confusing as well... you turn from a fish to a human with gold teeth to a rose...? Poetry is supposed to be mysterious, with hidden meanings that only the writer catches, but it also has to make enough sense to the reader so they are held captive by the mystery, not looking at their screens confused

Well, that is all I have for you. Awesome job! I seriously look forward to reading more of your work! That’s all for now.

~ DoubleRiders~

Heart touching, really felt the emotions of the person. I love the metopher and the way you described the rose. Definitely inspirational. As said in a few reviews, the line ‘but a seahorse pulls me back’, it confuses me because who is the seahorse? And also the line ‘and my teeth to gold’, there smart and beautiful metaphors but I’m slightly confused. Other than that it’s amazing, keep writing.

Heart touching, really felt the emotions of the person. I love the metopher and the way you used the rose to describe the emotion. Definitely inspirational. As said in a few reviews, the line ‘but a seahorse pulls me back’, it confuses me because who is the seahorse? And also the line ‘and my teeth to gold’, they're smart and beautiful metaphors but I’m slightly confused. Other than that it’s amazing, keep writing!

This is a great poem, and I loved it. It was great, it is definitely one of the better poems I've seen, however,
I felt like the phrase, "but a seahorse pulls me back" Didn't make much sense, at least, to me, it didn't.
Second, you forgot a couple commas and question marks, maybe go through it again.
That's all! I'm sorry if this came across as harsh, it was a really good poem! Keep writing, and have fun doing it!

Beautiful.