The Receding Tide

The Receding Tide

They looked out beyond the ocean. The sought after something more than the waves. They knew something more existed beyond what they saw.

“How far out do you think it goes before you reach land? The ocean I mean.” said Jane

“As far as you want it to” said Alex with a subtle grin.

“It seems like there is no end to it. Like it goes on past what we think of as the end.”

“I wonder what it would be like to swim and swim until you find land, or die trying?” said Alex.

The waves curled in front of them as they huddled near the beachfront fire. There was a cold wind that occasionlly subsided due to the heat from the fire. They both stood looking out to towards the sea where they could not see fully, yet they were certain they would catch a glimpse of some light they hadn't seen before. As they continued to stare, the waves seeped closer and closer to the fire and they wondered how much longer until the sea extinguished the fire.

Alex knew it was only a matter of an hour before the tide was in. It was a guess, however, as to how long it would take to reach the fire.

Alex thought of how lonely he was standing there next to Jane. He felt closer to the dead sounds of the wave then he did to Jane. He looked deep out into the ocean in search of the unknown. As he thought of this unknown he lost touch with Jane and lost touch with the fact that he felt alone. He didn’t feel anything except curiosity for the abyss he so unwaveringly watched. His mind began to wander through time. He ended up in some memory of his youth. He was at the Nelson’s playing with their youngest son Tommy. He remembered that first moment when he lost his sense of innocents. Tommy and Alex found a dead jackdaw out in the back yard. It had been dead a few days and maggots surrounded the scull. Tommy didn’t think anything of it and continued playing. But Alex stood before the crow wondering when he too would lie dead, with others watching over his body thinking the same things he thought.

He remembered how dark it was out and that only the fire kept them warm. He again thought of his own death. Looking out into the ocean he saw no end but he knew it was there.

Alex glanced over at Jane a smiled. “Do you think we have much longer before the waves come in?” said Alex.

“I don’t know we will have to wait and see” Jane said smiling back. “This is so nice. I remember as a kid I always thought of whales. I wondered what it would be like to go that far under the ocean without dying. I wondered what they saw down there, past the marlin. I wondered what existed beyond what we knew. Now, the more I think about it the less I find the ocean mysterious. I just see waves. I almost wish I saw more, like I did when I was a kid.”

Alex looked out into the sea when Jane spoke. He realized that the relationship that was once there was now gone. He knew that it was only a matter of time before they parted ways much like the impending tide moving towards the fire. He saw something in the ocean that she didn't. He wasn’t sad though. He knew that the end was only parting of two separate philosophies. Jane thought one way and he another. He looked back at Jane and continued to smile.    

“Do you remember when we used to stay out here all night and watch the sunrise? I loved those mornings. We should do it again right now.” Said Jane.

“It is getting late. I’m tired and the waves are almost near the fire. We will not be able to see soon. Why don’t we just head back.”

They sat facing the waves. The moon was only a crescent and the lighting suffered without the fire. There was a long period of silence in which they both came to the same realization. They knew they had to leave one another after this night. This was the last moment they would have. After this night they would be different people with different points of view. As they came to this realization they laughed. They never admitted it but they laughed at the absurdity of being there together yet alone.

“Do you think we will be able to see after the fire goes out?” said Jane.

“No. I think at this moment we’ve reached a limit.”

Alex lit a cigarette and the wind carried away the smoke.

“I will be in the car,” said Jane.

“Be there soon.”

He watched her already dark outline fade into a silhouette as she walked away. Alex continued looking out beyond the crest of the wave. He imagined what it would be like to swim out at this hour. “How cold would it be? Could I even survive?” He stood now in full opposition to the sea. He stared out and thought of death and how much longer he had until the waves overwhelmed the bonfire. “Should I put it out, or simply wait for the now few feet away waves.” He through his cigarette into the fire while blowing out one last cloud. He gazed into the fading fire. He thought of no memories, he just embraced the almost gone fire. The first wave caused a subtle hiss but failed to fully put it out. Alex continued to stare hoping that the tide would recede. The next wave came and by now Alex already made his way towards the car.

The tide rose higher covering the space where Alex and Jane sought something greater than what they knew. That memory was washed away with seawater and the history of his youth. Alex looked back at the fire one more time but only the smell of smoke remained. He looked up at the stars and thought of how random the order of the universe was. He thought of how the Greeks created an entire narrative to explain the order of the stars, and how that narrative explained a universe, which was so inherently chaotic. He laughed to himself. He laughed and thought of “how meaninglessness cosmology was” and “how in the end we are only voyeurs seeking a narrative we can live with.” He turned to walk back to the car.