Euphoric Writing

Hello Calvinn,

This is Magenta reporting to review you poem that you submitted to YWS, Euphoric Writing. I am glad to see you writing some poetry and good poetry too!
I have just read this and I really enjoyed reading this poem. I love the metaphors and the descriptive language. The words are used wisely and well.

"Oh, the wondrous feeling!
as the wings spread pollen
over my head, paintings
of words shortly unveiled - had I been blind?"


"But 'twas not long,
afore it passed,
fluttering away,
bittersweet taste."

These two are my favorite stanzas, which is practically most of the poem. But anyway, they capture the image and I really love these lines. The words express themselves and unravel the true meaning behind it all. Great job! Although,I never really understood why people wrote "thee" and "'twas" because it sounds so ancient. But also because some people try to hard to sound old fashioned and it just looks forced. Your use of these words aren't forced and there aren't many, it just changes the feel of the poem though. Anyway, great job!

Hello! This really is a very nice poem, mainly because of the extended metaphor of butterflies and freedom. This symbolizes the situation well for me, and reminds me of such experiences.
I think you should however bring back the butterflies metaphor towards the end, when you are describing the end of an inspirational high, perhaps have them die in your hands, as happens when children chase butterflies. It seems a little grim, but it is just a suggestion.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!
(For poetry review requests, see "The Poetry Person" in "Will Review For Food")

Your word choices in this poem is astoundingly beautiful, you have also captured the language perfectly. I've always wanted to write something like this but can never find the correct words. Great job!

You described exactly I feel all the time. I like this poem very much and I would review it, but I am pretty awful at poetry, so two thumbs up from me and keep up the good work

helllo there
your poem is so interesting and defferent , you have a special way of writing .
i think that the starting of the poem is my favourite part , it's attractive.

"I hold the language in my hands,
cupped, then they burst forth, being free,
colourful butterflies flutter
and I run, I chase, catching some.

the first line is perfect , it's very catchy .

"Oh, the wondrous feeling!
as the wings spread pollen
over my head, paintings
of words shortly unveiled - had I been blind?

this part is so nice , i liked the rhythm in it , but you should put a comma in the end of the second and the third line .

"How long before I see thee again ,
cavorting inside my parchèd mind,
the spurt of green that follows the rain,
language, language, will I see thee again?"

for the end , i liked how you finished it with a question ( for me it's the best way to make the reader like your poem )

generaly , that was a great poem , keep writing

smile