Hi there! Noelle here to review as requested!
Sorry I'm late with this, but time got away from me.
Before I start, I want to comment on what Meandbooks said about making this poem relatable to non-Christians/everyone. She's right in a way, but completely wrong in another. The debate about poetry is, and always will be, never ending. Is there a right way to write it? What are the guidelines? Should I be focusing on a select group of people? The great thing about poetry is that it's so expressive and pretty internalized. From the poems and poets I've read, the writing is about whatever they want to write about. Is some of it relatable to everyone? Yes. Is some of it relatable to only a few people? Of course. Neither is right, neither is wrong. If you felt so compelled to write a poem about God and how He has wonderfully made our world, write that poem. You're not going to be able to satisfy everyone that reads your poetry. Or any of your writing really. There's a saying floating around somewhere (I don't remember who said it or if it was even said by someone) that basically says if you're not writing for yourself don't bother writing in the first place. We all want to get published, share our writing with the word, be universally loved and appreciated. But that isn't our only goal. From your poem here I see your goal is to glorify God in a way you're confident in. Don't shy away from your message just because there are people around you who might not understand.
Alright, onto the real review :3
Of the work that was done by your hand.
The 'your' should be capitalized. That one managed to slip through.
One thing that I can't seem to figure out from your poem is if the speaker is talking directly to God or just thinking about how everything they see is made by Him. Okay, well, let me rephrase that. I can tell that the speaker is talking to God, as if during a prayer, but the last two lines contradict that storyline a bit.
By the beautiful brushstrokes of paint
Of the Painter who watches over me.
(I don't know why I'm having so much trouble writing out my thoughts right now, but please excuse the possibly confusing explanation that follows xD) These two lines are wonderful. In fact, they're probably my favorite of the entire poem. However, if this poem is to follow the format of the speaker talking to God, it needs to be reworded slightly. Think about it, when you say your prayers you're talking directly to God, yes? Would you say something like this in your prayers? Or would you say something like "By the beautiful brushstrokes of paint You created as the Painter who watches over me"? Obviously you wouldn't talk in poetry, but the point still stands. The last line especially is too vague, too much like an explanation than a conversation.
Disclaimer: I know that I'm comparing this poem to a prayer a lot, but I just want to say that I don't read it as a prayer. It's a poem and that's how I read it. The way the speaker is talking to God though, makes it so easy to compare to a prayer. Not sure if that's actually important to my review, but I figured I'd mention it. Anyway.
As I read over this poem again, I'm stuck on the idea of the stanzas. Not what's said in each of them, but the fact that there are stanzas. The way this poem is read flows right through from the beginning to the end. The speaker is observing everything in the world that reminds them of God. Each stanza touches on that, continuing where the last one left off. I'm wondering how this would read as a single stanza instead. Just something to think about. I mean, there isn't really anything in this poem that would demand a stanza change. All the images roll one after another, fitting together so easily. A poem doesn't always have to have stanzas, which I'm sure you know already. Just something to consider.
As a whole, your poem is wonderful. There isn't much I can tell you about imagery and meaning and message because it's such a personal poem. You were inspired by scripture and I'm in no place to suggest revisions for something like that. I mean, I did suggest a little, but nothing grand. This is your writing, your message to God from the world surrounding you. Sure the imagery could be stronger, but it doesn't really need to be. This is a straight forward poem written for those out there like you. Like me. I can completely appreciate your feeling of being at awe of the world created around us. I feel the same way every time I look outside my window. Every time I take a breath actually. It's an amazing thought that our Lord created all of this just for us. And by His hands non the less. This is a wonderful poem and I'm glad I got to read it
Keep writing!
**Noelle**
Points: 3733
Reviews: 1417
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