Holding on

Hey Calamitys, happy review day

I want to say thank you for writing this, it's very relateable to me because isnt that what those of us with depression, anxiety, or any other mental illness face every single day. We wait for the day this is over, the pain and longing for death to come. But when you meet people who actually care enough to see you spinning into a dangerous path and have enough strength in them to grab you by the shoulders and say "Hey, i love you, you're not gonna do this to yourself!" that's what keeps us going. We are gonna be alright, at the moment it may not seem like it but it's alright, as long as you know you're loved and cared for. I spent my entire life feeling like I should be dead, then i met my close friends and now i keep going, when I'm in a tail spin they pull me out of it and I think that makes all the difference. And if you ever find yourself in the need of a friend, My inbox is always open and Im normally always in chat.

Keep on keeping on Hon

~Mem

Hello! I'm here for a review!~

The title drew me in instantly, and caused me to become very intrigued as to what this was about, so nice work with the title.

I liked the poem in itself. It had very nice description and I loved the strong emotions in this, it really brought it together.

The only thing I noticed, was that the lines didn't seem to flow, in my opinion. Maybe that's the way it was intended to be, maybe not, I'm not quite sure.

The poem is still very nicely written and I really hope you know I do like it. I'm not trying to be mean, I just notice small things.

The poem is amazing no matter how it was meant to be written. Keep it up!

Sincerely,
-BelleTheWriter

This is Kaos here for a review!

The first thing that I noticed is that everything is in bold. I suggest you take this out of the poem because it doesn't seem to have a particular reason to be this way. Generally, bold is used to highlight important words and I usually don't deal or use bold in my writing, it may be something that you want to look into? It's something that would be hard to use, but if you want to try it, try it. It just doesn't add anything beneficial here.

Another small thing that I noticed is that you have punctuation in some of the lines but not in others. This is something that should be consistent. If you're going to use punctuation, then use punctuation. If you choose not to or at least not to end your lines, then keep it that way for the whole poem. Keep that kind of thing consistent.

Onto the actual content of the poem, I didn't really find anything to be here. It's a lot of speaking rather than conveying the message of the poem through any form of imagery. It makes it harder to be able connect if you're talking without some form of imagery attached to it. Create the atmosphere vividly, and using all five of your senses helps. Another thing is that to describe what the speaker is feeling, then you have to define what emotional words mean. Your idea of pain is not my idea of pain, so explain yours. My idea of happiness is not my idea of happiness, so explain it if that's something that's in the poem. Rather than the speaker saying that they're sad, prove it. Show me that they're sad.

A small thing is that you capitalized the word "Magnificently" which I don't know if you did on purpose or not, but I suggest to fix that. My reasoning is, is that it makes it feel more important than the other words or it puts more importance to it than what's really there. You used the word magnificent, that's great, now explain how it is that way. Another thing is finding imagery in places. There are so many possibilities and so many metaphors you can choose to use, you just have to open your eyes to them. In the last line you talk about blossoming and you could have expanded on this with descriptions or comparing to a flower.

Give us an image that is implanted into our heads. Something that the reader will remember and will be able to compare to. Tell the theme through that. The poem was very general and didn't really hone in on anything in particular, which is something that weakened it. The ideas are very broad, it's a large forest instead of having any attention to the individual trees. Find a balance of individual trees and the big picture.

I hope I helped and have a great day!

Hi there Calamitys! Rose here for a review! Now, I haven't reviewed in a while so please forgive me if this isn't a top notch review haha.

First off, let me state the positives of your poem. I feel as though a lot of people, including me, can identify with the pain of holding on the something or someone. The subject of this poem is a very easy thing to relate to and that is always a good thing to do when writing, is that you want your readers to know and understand how you feel.

A few questions I want to ask is why is it all bolded? I recently published a poem in all bold and that was a big mistake on my part. I feel like it is not specifically needed but it isn't a really "bad" thing.
Also why is it rated 16+? Perhaps it's just the strong feelings attached but oh well, your poem your choice!

Now I would like to address the small problems of this poem. Reading this poem I felt as if there was a lot of feelings missing. Although it is small, and a poem is never required to be long or anything like that, this short poem doesn't truly capture the feeling you are trying to display.

I also feel that it gets very repetitive, for example:

As days go by I'm still glad I'm holding on

As throughout the years I have been stepped on

My life still has meaning and I will move on

Keep the ones you love so dearly by your side as they will help you blossom Magnificently

Keep the ones you love so dearly by your side
as they will help you blossom miraculously

o-o