Young Writers Society

Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

I enjoyed reading this poem! I thought your last line was especially killer. I took it to mean that this poem is about someone who probably hurt the speaker in some way in the past. The poem takes on both an inspiring and somewhat of a vengeful tone, too. It definitely gives off the vibe of a phoenix emerging from the ashes, or the narrator emerging from their own ruins caused by someone else to grow to become better. I liked the message a lot, and I think your strong vocabulary especially when describing the object of the poem worked really nicely to support that message.

One thing I did wonder about was whether this poem could benefit from stanzas. Right now, it reads as one long thing, which isn't necessarily bad, but I feel like it would be interesting to see how stanzas change the way you read the poem. If I were putting in stanzas, I'd probably do it something like this:

Humans with your mental state disgust me

You aren’t human

You're a filthy disgusting freak

Doing such a heinous crime

Ruins the survivor’s life

I am not a victim

I am not weak

I are strong

I beat that mental battle every day

I are survivors

-

Did you ever think of what you are destroying

You destroyed me

Every night

Years later

I still can’t move past

I still have the night terrors

You ruined me

My self picture

My self worth

-

You are sick

You are wicked

Your sinister actions broke me

But I will not let my past plan for my future

Everytime those atrocious memories come back

I sink

To the bottom of the sea

I tremble

Tremble at the flashbacks

But I am not weak

I’m a survivor

I build myself up every time

-

Did you ever think what you were doing was evil

I doubt it

A villain like you doesn't feel remorse.

I are strong
...
I are survivors

Kz here! "Humans with your mental state disgust me

You aren’t human

You're a filthy disgusting freak

Doing such a heinous crime

Ruins the survivor’s life

I am not a victim

I am not weak"

WOW!!!

This is incredible! always a pleasure to read others works and I am super happy to read this!!!

Hello. It was lovely to read your poem. I am Kai and I am here to review it. I very much like the message of your poem. It is strong and relatable and has a sort of resilience to it that I find very inspiring.
I do question why you have I are stated several times that is not grammatically correct is that for a reason if so what is the reason for I fail to see how it adds much but I am willing to have my perspective changed.