*Audio of me reading it aloud here: https://soundcloud.com/caeruleanity/love-does-not...
*GDocs link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xpfL5OZQoFKAb...
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Re: the recording - I wasn't particularly going for a proper recitation in the recording, but I wanted to capture the mood and the 'moment', I guess. Oh, and I didn't mean to put on a British accent, but I guess I turn British when I'm being poetic. lool
Also, 👀 I hadn't written a poem in a very long time, my word. o.o I hope it's good.
Some context: So I have this 'lore and ideas' document for my WIP fantasy series and I have a section for 'wisdoms' which includes some mini philosophical(?) 'essays' on some concepts from my self-reflections and whatnot. (Sounds very nerdy. lol) And recently, I've been feeling a bit *ehem* emotional, haha, hence the topic of Love. Wasn't planning to write a poem but there it is. It was just supposed to be another mini essay. <.<
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,012 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
Hello there! Wow, the audio recording brought tears to my eyes. You have an incredible poetry voice. The entire thing was so emotional, like you said it was dramatic, but in an incredible way. This really moved me! The entire piece put together was fantastic!
I love the simplicity. You talk about love and such a beautiful way, with a lot of "love does/is" statements. I love how you speak of love, and such a gentle way. It's this all encompassing feeling that can be achieved by anyone. It feels like a beautiful breeze blowing over a stream. Listening to your voice made me very emotional, because of the passion that you have, and put into this poem.
This first was so gorgeous. It's true, love is not something that wants some thing, it is some thing that is boring and that already exists unconditionally. It's these desires to be more than you are meant to be the turns it better and cold. It's the desire to change and hurt that drives love bitter. Selfishness shapes, wanting love. But true love flourishes in the darkness without any driving factors. Overall, your poem was simple, but powerful. It really made me cry. Fantastic work on this and keep on writing!
Your friend,
Ellie
Aww, thank you so much! %uD83D%uDC99
(Oops, I keep forgetting emojis don't work here. lol But it was a blue heart. <3 )
Hello! Ley here to leave a quick and hopefully enjoyable review!
Firstly, I always like to start off with first impressions. This was a super well-written poem, and I loved how you formatted it. I could definitely tell that, even though you say you haven't written poetry in a while, that you're definitely skilled in it! I'd love to urge you to write more poetry, as this was amazing and I'd love to read more of your work. I'm not a very great poet, but I really do enjoy reading others!
As for the content, I was locked in since after I read the first stanza! I'm a sucker for poetry about love, and you really set the informative yet creative tone with:
I loveeeddd the comparison and imagery here, how you compared love to a living thing such as a plant or flower. How even in the hardest times, love will always win. I really enjoyed that stanza.
I couldn't find any grammar mistakes and I don't have any suggestions on format, so you're good to go, there!
Now, for the ending. Oh, how I loved it! It was the perfect way to end the whole thing, and left me with something to reflect on.
Thank you for posting this! It was an awesome read. I hope to read more of your writing around YWS!
With Love,
Ley
Thank you so much!
I think this poem explains what love is/ like. The part where it says " Love does not want", I took a moment and reflected on that. I seem to sometimes feel like Love does not want me, if that make sense. The part where it says " And it is this love -warmthless and discontent-" is relatable because love can be harsh and it's hard to see love finding other people around you and not you. "For love that wants corrupt", I feel like love also causes problems between people at the same time. Love can be good and bad. Those are my thoughts, thanks for this short read
Thank you, and welcome to YWS!