The man who sells ice cream has a cold (and other limericks)

by Cade
  • March 17, 2007
  • Poetry
  • Other

We wrote limericks in Creative Writing yesterday to celebrate St. Patty's Day. Enjoy?

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One day I met a man from Great Britain
Upon an ice cream truck a-sittin’
He sold me the sugar
Then sneezed up a booger
And wiped off the cone with a mitten

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There once was a man from the ocean
Who sold bottles of silky-soft lotion
Poured some on a dish
To give to a fish
But the lotion was a dangerous potion

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Today I saw a frog with a top hat
Who thought that his dear wife was too fat
He gave her a book
And a terrible look
And soon his wife’s tummy was real flat

Comments & reviews · 2
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parker-c-penne
Review
parker-c-penne wrote a review · Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:49 pm

Hey,

Just a few things!

1. It's Paddys day! Not "Patty's" day. Patty is a womans name! I'm from Ireland, I should know! As a matter of fact I come from the city of Limerick, and it may interest you to know that there is a museum dedicated to these nonsensicle poems in our town centre.

2. They were poor Limericks and had very little flow to them. They were creative, I'll give you that and I liked that you tried to incorporate more adult language in them, but unfortunately it doesn't work. Complexity=bad limerick!

3. P.O.I.: Limericks naturally occur in the Irish language which is strongly poetic. Ta me liofa as Gaeilge(I'm fluent in Irish)! Just taught I'd add that in!

4. Have a nice Paddy's day! Try not to drink to much! I, on the other hand have no choice but to continue on a proud tradition: Guinness, Whiskey, etc

Here's a short rhyme (I didn't make up, but I'm sure it'll put you in the mood):
One Tequila,
Two Tequila,
Three Tequila,
FLOOR!

User avatar
Emerson
Review
Emerson wrote a review · Sat Mar 17, 2007 9:37 pm

They're very cute, and childish ;-) I love them.

But your all too noticeable lack of dialog hurts them. Punctuate :-D I know you know better than this!

Oh: and "There once was a man" seems cliché.

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.

But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man

And as for the bucket, Nantucket.


But of course you could leave it as is, and be without problem, I'm sure.



No great thing is created suddenly. There must be time. Give your best and always be kind.
— Epictetus