We wrote pantoums (it's pronounced pan-TOOM and is a very funny word) in my creative writing class. I've only seen the style a few times before, and it was really interesting to try it out, but I feel that my pantoum just doesn't do much. 
Here's what Wikipedia has to say about the style: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantoum. There are different ways to write them, and mine differs a little bit from the format described by Wikipedia, but you get the picture.
So, here are two that I wrote for the class. The first, obviously, does not rhyme, and the second obviously does. The second is more for novelty than for anything else (and I realize that I need a lesson in rhythm XD); I'm being graded on the first.
The Pantoum of Doom (no, I don't have a real title >.<)
Seventh period we write “pantoums”.
It’s Creative Writing.
The air breathes heavy outside;
March is full-force against the windows.
Creative writing:
poetry on snow days goes nowhere when
March is full-force against the windows.
My feet rarely touch the ground.
Poetry on snow days goes nowhere when
an aging season lives too long.
My feet stay bare inside;
my fingers are heavy with want.
An aging season has lived too long;
it reminds us in wind-slapped faces.
My fingers are heavy with want
and my skin, untouched by sun, is soft.
It reminds us in wind-slapped faces, but
inside we type repeated lines.
My skin, untouched by sun, is soft, and
the air outside is heavy.
The Milky Way
after Train’s “Drops of Jupiter”
Tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Was the solar system dark and bare?
And now that it's done,
did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?
Was the emptiness dark and bare?
I stayed here under the atmosphere.
Did you miss me, looking for yourself out there?
I missed you under the clouds back here.
I stayed on the other side of the atmosphere;
familiar, but frustrating.
I missed you under the clouds back here;
The people can be suffocating.
It’s safe, but frustrating.
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
The people here can be suffocating.
And now it’s done, but you’re still so far.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Haha, thanks guys. Wow, Ayra, I didn't expect to ever see this post revived.
I think, gadi, that they are allowed to change. Sophistication in writing is often shown by the ability to stray from form; you don't have to repeat the line EXACTLY to make it good. This is not to say that my pantoum was sophisticated. Far from it. Haha.
Thanks again for your comments, guys!
-Colleen
Okay--I am not sure if pantoums are allowed to change lines when repeating them, like
"I did this"
when the next stanza it's
"and I did this".
I hate Pantoums. Sorry. They are only good when they rhyme. So this one wasn't too fun to read--the rhythm was off--but having expericne with pantoums, I applaud you. You managed to pull this off successful.
And the second one...I loved it. (Because I love the song.)
This isn't my style of poetry, but I thought these were pretty good.
Strangely enough, I liked the first one better. Maybe it was because I can't live without description? I don't know.
Love that stanza. Especially the bit about the 'wind-slapped faces'.
The one thing that confused me was that you mentioned the wind-slapped faces an then said that your skin is soft, because it was untouched by the sun.
I always think that skin would be softened by sun, but maybe that's just me. I also didn't get it because if your skin is wind-slapped, shouldn't it be cold?
But then again, maybe I'm not properly understanding this and you're just thinking about wind-slapped faces.
-------------------
Anyways, I hope I don't sound completely stupid.
Good job,
:AYRA:.