The Five Senses of Obsession

by Byrdsong

Published June 4, 2024

16+ Language

In Senses

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

PreviousNext

The Five Senses of Obsession

I was meant to be yours

To long for your smile

To fall victim to your gaze

To be your clay to mold

You were not meant to be mine

To feel my skin

To touch my soul

To taste my lips

We mean nothing

But I still feel your breath on my neck

But I still see your face in my pillows

But I still hear your whispers in my bedroom

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
KaavyaK
Review
KaavyaK wrote a review Review · Jun 4, 2024

Nice poem written by the author.

Love is a divine emotion felt by everyone at one or the other stage of their life. It is when two people find each other attractive in some or the other way, they talk to each other and this feeling of affection can sometimes turn into an obsession when love turns into obsession, a whole new chapter of 'falling from love into obsession' starts and it has no end.
When you are obsessed over or with something, it does not matter what work you are busy with you will only think of that person (or thing), and if somehow you get to see that person or meet that person it feels heaven to you.

The poem is amazing.This is just my opinion but I think the readers would like the poem to be a bit more lengthy (by the way just skip this part and your first poem on this website is great, my first work on this website was not really good).

Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.

Got it!! Thank u!!

User avatar
Coffeewriter
Review
Coffeewriter wrote a review Review · Jun 4, 2024

Hey this is Coffee dropping by to leave a humble and quick review!^^
First of all, it’s lovely!! You’re really good even though you might not think it!
I’m a bit of a sucker for sweet romance myself so I totally love this and the title totally fits along with the poem.
I particularly love the line:

“To fall victim to your gaze”


It’s really fancy and I guess I love how it’s structured. Overall, 10/10 great poem!!
Have a good day/night!!

Thank uu!!!

User avatar
branchingout Review
branchingout wrote a review Review · Jun 4, 2024

Hello! I'll be leaving a quick little review of your poem :)

First off, I really love the five senses concept. It really hones in how infatuation/obsession completely floods your mind in every way. Also, I really like the line

To be your clay to mold


I feel like it really captivates a possibly unhealthy attachment as it suggests the speaker is willing to give up aspects of themselves for the object of their affection.

Also, I really like how you end the poem with the speaker still replays their memories together. Or perhaps the relationship continues despite not being right for each other? I enjoy the open interpretation there.

I can't think of anything to nitpick. Overall, it was a pleasure to read your poem!

Thank you!



The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
— Alvin Toffler