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Young Writers Society



A big wide world, full of big wide mistakes.

by Burrow


I usually disagree with violence. I usually don't judge what someone did, till the truth is proven. But I read this this discussion over and over again. I watched the news. I read things on the internet, I have heard many stories. I have read many peoples opinions. I have watched people scream there hate. Wishing for people to burn. Saying no one cares. I have seen people commit horrible things.



I have done horrible things. I know people have killed thousands. People killed innocent people, day after day. People massacre children. People kill for revenge. People kill for enjoyment. People kill out of worry. People kill under command.



I know a white cop shot a black boy. I know this is wrong. I never understood murder. I understand punishment. But what always confuses me, is how a human, can judge on wether a man or women should be punished. What gives him the right. What give the government the right to make my parents pay taxes, tell us what to do. Yet there is not right in taking other persons life.



I have no wish to be a murderer. I have no wish do understand what it is like to murder. I have done horrible things. You have done horrible things. We all have. If you don't except that, you are arrogant, ignorant to the truth.



Many people praise king David, and we all know god loved him, yet he committed murder and rape. Some of the worst crimes know to man kind. Yet he was forgiven.



We must never ask for someone to burn. I have much hate for people such as Hitler, Asama Bin laden. And many more people. I would think about burning them, I would believe they deserved it. But I am not down to judge that, you aren't either.



The man whom killed this boy, committed a crime.



He will be punished.



On earth possible. On heaven definitely.

Men stormed a school, killed hundreds. Of children.



If they are innocent, then that is god choice to decide. I don't know why he shot the boy, how he could have shot the boy. He may have been in fear of his life. He may have been scared. Maybe not. I don't know why they killed those kids.



We will never fully know.



I have read much hate and seen much in life. Though you must not judge one and other.



I am chewing on my finger nails as I write this, hoping I am keeping on topic, and not rambling of topic. I would love for people do understand the way I see the world. I always hoped that, maybe we didn't act the way we did.



I know people are rioting, sometimes I feel that it is right. but in the end it is wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right. I hate this, but it is true.



I am a victim to racism.



Maybe you are to?



it is really hard to cope with, hard to understand why. That boy when he died, was probably confused, annoyed that just because of a stereotype he is dead. But we don't know this.



We don't know why the man killed him.



I am confused on what I should say.



Sometimes it is hard to except that such horrible things happen.

I don't know why, people kill.

How we can even cope with such hardship. Can we look at other people, can we even look at our selves, I would like to say I am perfect, sadly I am not, you aren't either.



We commit sin it is our nature. We believe we are advanced, that we should be doing that. We think we are so smart. When we really aren't. I am not saying that this man shouldn't be punished. I am not saying that boy should have been shot.



I am saying. We must forgive, and we must understand we are all the same. We will all commit sin. We will all commit crimes. We must understand that, if we are to move on. To love the memory of the child. We should leave god to this decision of the cops fate. We should know stop that hate. Move on to praising the memory of the dead boy.



Don't hate, love.



I want you to listen to me very carefully, Harry. You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.



Sirius Black has got it nailed. We have do act on what is right.



I wish that you would understand what I have do say. But in the end. We all do bad things. You, me. All of us. We should leave the condemning to God.



I know this will most likely receive a lot of hate. That we should hate the cop, hate the police. But maybe think about the bigger picture. Realise that we all do bad things. Some worse than others.

That the men killed those innocent children, for no reason.

But in the end. You truly must understand, we are in a big wide world. And that big wide world is full of mistakes.



In the end note, I have a lot of hate for racism, I think everything that goes on around the world is wrong. But.... that is sin. It is inevitable.



Jack.



Send me hate if you wish. But I send none back. I only wish for peace.


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Sun Dec 21, 2014 1:43 am
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Mea wrote a review...



I really, really like everything you're saying here. I totally agree with all of this. Correlation is not causation, and we have no idea what is going through a person's mind or of their true motives. The world would be so much better if everyone were a little more forgiving

I know you wrote this as a post first and you probably haven't really edited it a lot, but I'd like to give you some feedback on how to make it better as an essay, because you have a great start here.

1. You have a lot of spelling mistakes - not many grammar errors, though. I really think if you re-read it a couple of times, you'll catch them, so I'm not going to spend too long on them, except to say that they're quite distracting.

2. You're paragraph spacing is kind of all over the place. You've got some paragraphs with 2 line breaks between them, and some with one. You really only need one unless you switch to a new topic, which should only happen every few paragraphs or less, not every paragraph. I'm pretty sure it wasn't intentional, but you should still probably fix it.

3. You need to put the Harry Potter quote in quotation marks. I didn't realize it was a quote until the last line of it (because I recognized the quote), and many people wouldn't have until you said it was by Sirius. (I loved how you used the quote, by the way. Spot on!)

Nitpicks:

Don't hate, love.

Maybe you should word it as "Don't hate. Love." Just because to some people it'll probably read like you are addressing them as your "love," which I'm pretty sure you're not. :P

Also, I wouldn't say "I have done horrible things/We've all done horrible things," because I think all the little sins we commit each day don't usually add up to "horrible." Plus it will probably offend some people. Maybe just say "bad." Or "harmful/hurtful." And the last paragraph is a little confusing. I'm not sure what you are calling sin in that line.

That's really all I have to say on the piece as it is. (I have a ton to say on the topic, though.) This a great topic, with plenty of room for expansion.

I think maybe you should emphasize how you can condemn the sin but you have no place to judge the person. I also think there is a lot of room for expansion along the lines of how you can punish someone but still love them (or at least not wish them harm). Also the difference between forgiving someone for what they did and condoning the act. An analogy you could use there would be how a mother can punish her child for something but still love the child.

Also, in order to not irritate non-Christians (and so they can get something out of it), maybe you could add a section about how not hating people makes you happier, more pleasant, more people want to be around you, and you're more likely to gain support for whatever cause you're striving for, if any. Plus a lot of other good things.

These are just suggestions, though, motivated by thoughts I've had before and after reading this. Feel free to add them, or to decide that my ideas are nonsensical and ignore them.

I'd love to talk about the topic more, but this review is already really long and I'm running out of time, so I will just sign off by saying again how much I appreciated this. A lot of this stuff has been running through my mind the past few weeks, and I'm so glad you had the courage to put it on (figurative) paper, because I sure didn't, and I think it needed to be said. Thank you for this.




Burrow says...


thanks for the suggestions. As for the paragraph stuff ups. that was a mix up with the post, and this.



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Sat Dec 20, 2014 12:20 pm
Whosabell says...



Sorry I posted that twice.




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Sat Dec 20, 2014 12:18 pm
Whosabell says...



It is all true. Sadly there is racism in the world. People have a hard time excepting people. It's not genetics it's not a trait, and you might say that people pick it up and they use it like a weapon. The fact still stands, people are racist, and they hate and we all hate it. Even my own parents are racist and it makes me very upset on a daily basis. But you know haters are going to hate but nobody said we need to throw it back at them.




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Sat Dec 20, 2014 12:17 pm
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Whosabell wrote a review...



It is all true. Sadly there is racism in the world. People have a hard time excepting people. It's not genetics it's not a trait, and you might say that people pick it up and they use it like a weapon. The fact still stands, people are racist, and they hate and we all hate it. Even my own parents are racist and it makes me very upset on a daily basis. But you know haters are going to hate but nobody said we need to throw it back at them.





'They are afraid of nothing,' I grumbled, watching their approach through the window. 'Together, they would brave Satan and all his legions.'
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights