Why?

by BunnyBot8, Sylar

Published March 25, 2014

E - Everyone

In writing

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Why do birds fly?

Why do penguins fall?

Why does everyone say that I am a penguin, and can only fall?

I want to be a free bird,

soaring through the air.

Chasing the colors of the wind

following the other birds to the warmth of the south

But, I am not a free bird.

I can never be a free bird.

I must stay a penguin

isolated in my own little world of never seeing the beautifully colored sky.

All I do is fall

after all, I am a penguin

Comments & reviews · 8
User avatar
brielle
Review
brielle wrote a review Review · Apr 1, 2014

I LIKE THIS VERY FUNNY AND CUTE. A Penguin? This just made my night. I have a Smiley Face on, Brilliant. :) , People need to her more of this Funnness around, becuase now and these days people are sad and have gerif in there lifes. But when they read this and get a picture its funny. They have a Good Laugh. Nice Job!

Yay! Thank you!

fallenoutofgrace wrote a review Review · Mar 30, 2014

This is a very cute humorous poem that i simply enjoyed. I enjoyed how you made your lines end with either a question mark or a sentence it helps to show that its like your simply talking or addressing a friend on the issue. I was laughing a the end when ou said " after all, I am a penguin." it made me laugh because i instantly pictured a penguin writing this poem and being like " Hey penguin here defying all odds and flying" I enjoyed the shift in your poem where you were i want to be a free bird to i will never be a free bird cause your a penguin. I guess overall really good :3 * penguin high flipper*

User avatar
Iggy
Review
Iggy wrote a review Review · Mar 29, 2014

Okay, so this is about penguins AND you include a Pocahontas reference? I love you.

I think this is a pretty darn awesome thing you wrote a poem about. You focus on the fact that penguins are totally the middle man, unable to fly and yet still considered a bird. It's an atrocity, I tell you! Penguins should be able to fly too!

For a short poem, this was really good! It was short, to the point, humorous, and just awesome. I'm pretty glad that you didn't try to force a rhyme scheme to this, as I feel it just would've been awkward and ruined the flow of the poem. Speaking of, I think you had a decent flow here. The repetition of "free bird" was a bit boring, so I suggest you spice that up a bit, and find different ways to describe freedom.

Overall, it was a nice poem! Thanks for sharing. ^^

User avatar
MBrooks
Comment
MBrooks commented Comment · Mar 25, 2014

I didn't think you were a penguin, I thought you were a bunnybot? XD

'But, I am not a free bird.

I can never be a free bird'

I don't understand how penguins could be trapped to be honest, but I like the idea.

'Why do penguins fall?' I didn't know they did.

You learn something new everyday :)

Sylar replied · Mar 26, 2014

SOME PENGUINS ARE IN CAGED ZOOS OH MAH LAWD

OOOH COOL

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CollinWitte
Comment
CollinWitte commented Comment · Mar 25, 2014

This piece was very good. I couldn't tell if it was meant to be serious or silly, though. But I saw the limitation the character felt and could relate. It was a cool piece - keep up the good work!

I couldn't tell if I was writing a serious or comical piece of writing either so... yeah.

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Sunshine1113
Comment
Sunshine1113 commented Comment · Mar 25, 2014

PENGUINS!!!! That's all I have to say. I LOVE penguins :)

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Sylar
Review
Sylar wrote a review Review · Mar 25, 2014

The only reason I'm a "co-author" is because I LOANED you some points. But this was, okay.

"isolated in my own little world of never seeing the beautifully colored sky." This is a REALLY BIG RUN-ON. Try:
"Isolated in my own little world
never seeing the beautifully colored sky."

"I must stay a penguin" Eh, this stops the flow. I'm sorry, but I'm not sure how to fix it. I guess you could just take it out.

"after all, I am a penguin" Take out "after all" so it's, "I am a penguin"

Also, you could change the title. Maybe "Penguin" not "WHY?"

Aside from that, I thought you had a nice tone and a good voice. Your writing is unique. Good job!

Alex out!





bai

User avatar
Sylar
Comment
Sylar commented Comment · Mar 25, 2014

Why do bathrooms even exist?



When your heart gets pierced with arrows, don't rip them out and pierce those around you in retribution for your hurt. You'll only unnecessarily wound others and bleed to death yourself.
— LadyMysterio