Young Writers Society

Hello! I just wanted to stop by and leave a review/my thoughts on this piece!

My first impression was that this was a novel excerpt, but after seeing the tags and genre categorization, I've realized that this could possibly be your words. I may be totally off, but either way I enjoyed the read.

I really enjoyed your use of comparison here, and defying the odds. I really connected with your comparison to 'Clare' and 'Choice', not only because both words start with the letter 'c' but also because of the way you wrote it. I can already tell you're a very creative and talented writer because not many people can jot down emotions and feelings as you did! It can be a hard thing to do, and I applaud you for it! <3

I did spot some grammar issues, but most of them are just general grammatical errors that I don't quite think you should be too worried about. This seems like a very personal piece, and I'd like to keep this review as casual as possible. On a different note, this may just be my favorite line in this piece:

Clare is the girl that gives advices while Choice yearns for someone to talk to, to tell just a glimpse not her problems but finds no one.

Sending all of my air hugs to you through the screen. I know I'm just a stranger, that we can hide ourselves through the screen, but I'm going to try to give the advice I have (on the chapter, and on life).

Clare is never the right answer. From what you said, she seems like a people-pleaser. She yearns for people to like her. It's as if that's where her identity is set. The problem is that people are incredibly unreliable and putting her identity in them only causes Choice to fall into a deeper hole.

Choice is a 'Debby Downer' type of gal who seems to have given up on a meaning for life at all. While Clare is off trying to figure herself out in life, Choice is at a far distance and ready to kill off them both.

Both of them, in a sense, are looking for purpose. But they haven't found it.

Neither Choice, nor Clare have been kind to you. As you search for your purpose, for someone or something to fill your voids, may I suggest the Bible?

I know, I know, you may not be into all of that 'religious' stuff, and Christians seem 'snooty'. But the Bible does have every single answer to your pain and your purpose. I have a couple of verses to cite, before you click off of this review.

'Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? ... No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow — not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below — indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35, 37-39)'
'I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:14)'
'And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. (Ephesians 3:18-19)'.

You are amazing and loved an fearfully & wonderfully made. And you have a very, very important purpose on this Earth. Don't let Choice tell you otherwise. As I said, you're amazing.

Stop by at my account if you have any questions!
-Serrurie.