I could do without your kiss tonight.
You looked at me and I gave up the fight.
I find myself wondering why?
When I'm looking up at purple skies.
You kept me up with tasty lies.
Don't say it's just the way things go.
When I was there and I never said no.
The only home I ever knew was the one I lived and shared in you.
So now I've grown, I'm back at the start and I've abandoned my heavy heart.
I find myself wondering why?
After all the drinks and company
You choose him over me.
Remember me, after time has passed and he has gone,
I'll be the one with the empty eyes, dreaming of your purple skies.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
hey Bulletproof1994!
I loved this poem. The name "Purple Skies and Tasty Lies" was interesting, but not in a bad way. That's what got me to click on the story, because the name was different. Anyways, there's just one line that I think does not match or flow as well as all the rest and this is it:
This line isn't as strong as the rest, I feel like you put this line in last minute to explain your heartbreak.
Overall, your poem is very good!
-SodapopLunchbox
Hello there
What an interesting title you have for your poem. This was good, but the first stanza, I don't know if you wanted it to rhyme but the words you used were a little below average compared to the rest of the poem. I don't have a suggestion for what you could use but I would keep the first line and fix the second.
The second stanza
does not work either. I think the huge problem was the last two line. They make a reference to the title but they just pop in out of nowhere and do not help much with the meaning you are trying to give out. Maybe you should have used them in different stanzas, I don't know.
Besides all that, I loved the last stanza, it's very empowering and for some strange reason I don't know, I sort of smiled.
Keep writing