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141,290 Literary Works • 674,333 Reviews
I do not know why but this line bugs me alot. It feels like you're just jumping. I don't know how to describe it.
I like this little story. I love how Paige really has no interest in who Jane is offering up to her. I really wish there was more to read with it. I could see this as a full length story rather than a short one.
Hey sorry it has taken me so long to reply.
To clarify: this is absolutely just a short story, it may be surprising. I am seeing that everybody on this site is already writing novels, pretty astounding, but no, this is just a short story because i love the little creatures.
I actually just posted a tiny little snippet, this thing i had to do for uni so have a look and tell me what you think if you like.
P.S - You didn't like the end? I made it so i must like it...and i do, i think it's a good line to end on. I am not criticising, actually really looking for honest opinions, i can take them.
Thanks
Hi Buddy.
I really liked the setting and how you wrote the thing, plus the character Paige. The story, for me was just odd and weird and nice at the same time.
(and I mean odd and weird as compliments)
Love the tittle. I would definitely read more from you.
The only thing that stricked me a little off was the ending. Maybe it could have been more paused or something. I dunno.
Question: Is this a short story? If its not then, I have no idea where its going, but I'd love to read more. Though the THE END implies it is.
That's all. Hope my rambling made sense. See ya!!!!