I never thought
I'd see the day,
where I would face these rusty tracks
That I'd let them get a hold of me,
and to allow their havoc to run amuck.
People say to walk with the tracks
is to find humanity,
but I'm walking the other way
In fact, I'm crossing the tracks,
and I'm walking down this road,
Thinking of what could have been
Only God truly knows.
It seems my childhood has replaced it's hooks
inside my fragile state of mind.
It whispers "end it" in my ear
I close my eyes and pray.
Save my soul
Don't let it break
Allow it be stronger than me
And hold precious life so dear
So that it won't my my mistakes
And it will not live in fear.
They always say to walk with the tracks,
but I am going a different way.
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No. I couldn't find a hidden meaning, because it wasn't hidden. It was glaring.
I think you want to go back at Your First Love yet you are torn apart. You want to give the pen of your life to the Great Author yet you still want to go on your on way. You want to go back yet a part of you doubts. You still want to enjoy your life the way you want it to be.

*this is my interpretation to your poem.
I like it because it mirrors what the writer feels. It was as if a silent cry wants to outburst. Keep it up!
God bless!
Not a clue about the meaning mate, is the persona commiting suicide? Great poem even if I don't get it on my quick read, sorry about the rushed response. Great work, keep writing!