Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
Winter in the north was notorious for its harshness, but folks had long ago grown accustomed to it; it merely took a blizzard, however, to send them running for the warmth of their homes. How people could therefore live even farther north than the territories of the Gràwolf and Àlbear Clans was beyond Canis, for even whilst wrapped in three layers of blankets, he could not keep the chill from his bones. The fact that he lived in a stone castle did not help much, either.
Normally, upon waking up, Canis would walk out onto his balcony and admire the view, but outside, the wind still moaned like a malicious spirit, demanding entrance to the room. That morning, the balcony doors would remain closed.
Canis noticed that where a fire was supposed to be crackling merrily in the hearth, there was naught but ashes, so he disentangled himself from the blankets, pulled on as many furs as he could, not caring whether or not he looked ridiculous, and attempted to revive it.
‘Could you not have waited for the blizzard to be spent before waking up?’ a voice complained from beneath the blankets at the lower end of Canis’ bed.
‘You at least have fur,’ Canis replied, still trying to rekindle the fire, ‘I don’t. Anyway, Ice, you’re probably the only wolf who has the privilege of sleeping under blankets; all the others have to make do with what shelter the Grà Woods have to offer.’
‘The difference being I’m not just an ordinary wolf,’ the voice retorted drowsily.
‘Spoilt creature…’ Canis muttered.
A white head poked out from beneath the blankets. ‘I heard that!’
‘You were supposed to!’ Canis chuckled, finally succeeding in getting a few flames to reluctantly come to life.
A maid with a serving trolley walked into the room, greeted Canis, and served breakfast. Canis thanked her, and as he sat down, she dismissed herself.
The breakfast consisted of some poached eggs and a few slices of barley bread served with warm butter and lemon marmalade, as well as an assortment of fruit.
Canis had already eaten some of the bread and a few eggs, and was half way through an apple when a knock sounded on the door.
‘Come in,’ he called. In response, a man dressed in the formal robes of the castellan entered the room. ‘Charles, my friend! Please, do sit down.’
The castellan was an ox of a man. When he entered a room, one immediately sensed his presence; not only because of his size, but also because Charles had an air of authority about him. He was by no means domineering though, for Canis knew him to be gentle and caring. It was best not to anger him, however – Canis had had the privilege of fighting alongside Charles during their previous skirmish with the goblins, and he vividly remembered the trail of bloody corpses left in his friend’s wake.
‘Keeping warm, are we?’ Charles asked as he sat down.
Canis smiled, but upon seeing the change in Charles’ countenance, his smile faded into an anxious frown.
‘You aren’t here to exchange pleasantries, are you?’
‘No, I am not.’ Charles rubbed his temples. ‘Canis, there is no subtle way to say this: you are to be overthrown. Today.’
Canis sensed the bundle in his bed tense, but he himself felt oddly numb. It was a full two minutes before he responded. ‘By whom?'
‘Aleksandrei.’
The Captain-of-Guards. Canis had always known him as ambitious and proud, and neither liked the other much; Canis thought Aleksandrei vainglorious, and Aleksandrei thought him soft. Nonetheless, he would never have expected the man to be capable of treason.
‘If you are so certain,’ Canis asked, slightly agitated, ‘why has he not been arrested yet? And I do not believe for a second you share his intentions, so why do you state it as if the result is inevitable?’
‘I do not have sufficient proof.’
‘Then how are you so certain?’ Canis responded dubiously.
‘The previous Pack Leader, Robert the Old, did not die of pneumonia; his epithet was well-earned.’
‘You imply that Aleksandrei poisoned him?’
‘That he did.’
‘I suppose you do not have any proof for that, either,’ Canis remarked sardonically.
‘I do not, but Aleksandrei and I both know the old leader’s death was not due to some disease,’ Charles insisted. ‘Robert knew it as well.’
‘Robert knew he was being poisoned?’
‘Yes, and that, along with the fact that he had no heirs, is why he appointed you to succeed him. Had he not, Aleksandrei would have claimed the position his, even though I am the castellan, and as more than half of the military idealised him, he would have won the resulting conflict.
‘Not many of Aleksandrei’s followers knew of Robert’s poisoning though, as they would not have supported him if they had. Therefore, by putting you in command, Robert ensured that the odds were more balanced; Aleksandrei could not dispose of you too, not immediately, at least, since that would have made his machinations apparent and would turn those still loyal to Robert against him.’
‘And if you had accused him of the poisoning?’ Canis asked, still sceptical.
‘He would simply have denied any involvement. In fact, he would have reflected the accusation onto me, saying that I wanted him out of the way as well, leaving me free to rule. The populace could then easily be persuaded into believing his story. After your ascension, our military influence might have been even, but neither party could afford having the public oppose them. Hence, the deadlock.’
‘I think I understand, now,’ Canis relented after a moment of contemplation, ‘but you have not yet explained how you know of Aleksandrei’s imminent betrayal.’
‘Even before Robert’s death, Aleksandrei and I had informants among the others followers. It is one of these informants who relayed to me Aleksandrei’s intentions.’
‘And you trust this informant?’
‘Implicitly.’
‘Alright then, what did he say?’
‘Apparently, Aleksandrei’s scouts have recently discovered a hidden goblin cave complex. He means to convince you to send me, along with all those loyal to me, to assault the caves in a pre-emptive strike against the goblins.’
‘And how does he think he can do that?’
‘I don’t know, but you must agree to do so.’
‘What?! I would never send you and your men into an ambush!’
‘Canis,’ Charles said calmly, ‘I have been planning this ever since your rise to power; as the situation stands, it could not have developed better. On the way to the caves, my men and I will purge our ranks of Aleksandrei’s spies, head north for three miles and then head east, for Hunter’s Moon.’
‘Isn’t Hunter’s Moon an Àlbear village?’
‘Though it is technically in the Àlbear portion of the Grà Woods, at least half of the village’s population is of Gràwolf descent, so we have been able to prepare them for Aleksandrei’s rebellion, secretly, of course – Lord Ioreck may be your friend, but he does not need know about this, not yet.
‘Upon my arrival there, the inhabitants will get their affairs in order and we shall wait for you to join us. After that, we shall make our way to Albaster, inform Lord Ioreck of the situation, apologise for the deception, and then plan our counterattack from there.’
‘Why must I remain here?’ Canis asked, uncertain.
‘I need you to unearth as much information about Aleksandrei’s motives as you can. If we are to retaliate, we need to know what he plans on doing after seizing control.’
‘I assume you have a suggestion?’ Canis asked resignedly.
‘If anybody knows what Aleksandrei is planning, it will be the Treasurer. Interrogate him, collect any evidence you can, and then leave.’
‘If you are so sure about his involvement, why haven’t you interrogated him yourself?’
‘Whilst on patrol, some of my men have reported seeing an increased amount of Aleksandrei’s guards at the treasury. There is no way we can gain access without raising suspicions and having any evidence subsequently destroyed.’
Canis was frustrated. ‘Then how am I, the person who is to be overthrown, supposed to investigate? Don’t you think Aleksandrei will keep me locked away in a cell somewhere? Or even execute me?’
‘You aren’t the only one who is uncertain of what you should be doing,’ Charles retorted impatiently. ‘Do you think I enjoy gambling with people’s lives, yours and mine included? Everything could go wrong; there are so many things I don’t know, and I have no idea how to begin explaining to you the things that I do know.’
‘You’ve explained the events leading up to Aleksandrei’s rebellion thoroughly,’ Canis said gently, finally understanding his friend’s position, ‘but not those occurring thereafter; try starting there.’
Charles noticed the change of tone and nodded. ‘Alright. Aleksandrei seems to have some sort of grudge against you, heaven knows why, so he’ll want to execute you, but you are too well liked for him to do so publicly. He must therefore spin some story that you have also fallen dreadfully ill, but this time, he’ll most likely say you are in your room and deny anyone access, probably saying you need to rest.
‘The dungeons have been cleaned sometime during the past week, so I assume he’ll keep you there until you have officially “died”. Then, he can do with you whatever he pleases.’
Canis did not find that a very reassuring thought, and said as much.
‘If all goes well, you’ll be on your way to Hunter’s Moon by nightfall. We need to get you out of the dungeon first, so I have devised a plan. Take this.’
Charles produced a brass locket and Canis took it from him.
‘How is this supposed to help me escape?’ he asked doubtfully.
‘There is a cupboard spider inside,’ Charles answered. ‘No, don’t open it! The guards will remove your weapons, but they are likely to ignore a flimsy piece of brass jewellery. Once you are in the cell, wait for an hour before opening it – let the spider bite you, but be sure to let them see it.’
Canis eyed the locket suspiciously.
‘Don’t worry,’ Charles reassured him, ‘you’ll only experience a slight burning sensation and malaise for a day or so, but to the guards, it will look like a black widow. When they rush you to the infirmary, naturally trying to keep your bite as secret as possible, soldiers still loyal to you will ambush them from a concealed position.
‘Once you are free, collect only your weapons and head for the treasury. Aleksandrei will require all his men to secure the castle, so he’ll have to leave the treasury unguarded. Gather what information you can, but don’t attempt to search any other areas of the castle; you must depart immediately afterwards. Do you understand?’
‘Yes, but how am I to leave the castle?’
‘The men who are to free you know of a hidden passage which leads out of the city.’
‘And if we are pursued?’
‘They are aware of the risks and are willing to lay down their lives for you; if you are pursued, they will do what is necessary.’
‘How many of your other soldiers know of your plans?’ Canis asked gravely.
‘None. If the subject of this conversation is to be kept secret from our foes, it must be kept secret from our friends as well.’
‘So those who are to remain at the castle…?’
Charles bowed his head. ‘May it be swift.’ He rose from the chair and sombrely strode to the door, but turned when he was addressed.
‘What will happen if we fail?’ Canis practically whispered.
Charles’ expression reflected the gravity of his words. ‘We cannot afford the consequences of failure.’
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Hey there WanderingWizard and Astral!
I didn't realize this was co-written. All the more better :3 I am sorry this is taking me forever to get to. My best apologies, and now I will get onto the review which might be rather short xD There isn't too much for me to say!
First of all, I wasn't too sure how I felt about the first paragraph. In the previous part of the chapter we hear a lot about winter, how it affects the people and causes the giants which is the source of all the trouble then. It made me a bit annoyed to see this part starting up with winter again - I think we had understood enough of it from the first chapter. Maybe you could blow us away with more descriptions here, or possibly get straight to the story so that we are skipping over the repetition of the same idea in different words.
Another thing that we really needed to know more about was the wolf! He was kind of randomly thrown in with no explanation whatsoever. I understand that the wolf is special - it can speak - but I still don't understand how. I still don't know what other gifts this wolf has, or what it's relation to Canis is. It's like giving a character a super power but never quite pegging down what it is and deciding to move along with the story instead! I would suggest you slow down there and through them conversing give us a bit more of an explanation through a conversation or so. We don't need to know everything about them both, but we do need to know enough for the wolf not to feel like a character which has been thrown into the story randomly.
Speaking of the wolf, it is in the room right? And when Canis is having the conversation with his visitor... what is it doing? Is it just sitting there and listening to all these secrets being revealed? Does Canis trust the wolf enough for that? Does the wolf not get a say in the matter either? I feel like you'd forgotten that there was this character in the room, and acted like they weren't there. But you two need to remember that no one is going to stay silent that long, not even the most silent person, unless they aren't allowed to be speaking. If that is the case, then show some tension in the wolf's body or the way it opens and closes its mouth as if it has something to say as well. (I keep calling the wolf it because you never specified a gender, which might be something handy to do). I think my main issue with this story simply was the wolf.
The last thing I want to mention is that a lot of this chapter is dialogue going back and fourth. But we only just met these characters, so it is still hard to feel emotionally connected and invested as readers in them staying alive. We still need to care a bit more - and for that you need to put more actions in there and emotions. Have breaks between the all the dialogue. Have Canis look around his room and at all his possessions, especially those with sentimental value, when he realizes that he is going to have to leave everything behind and simply escape in his own skin. Make him think about the people he might miss as his companion is speaking so that we can feel more pity and sadness for him because he has to give everything up. Don't have Canis be so calm and collected when he knows someone is plotting to kill him. Have him feel hurt or betrayed, even wondering what he could've done to have deserved such a thing. He know he is in charge, but did he imagine that such a high position could lead on to something like this?
This review may be short, but I hope it has left you with some things to think about. The chapter was pretty flawless itself and I am pulling out certain things that bothered me, but there isn't too many! I am looking forward to reviewing the final part of this that has already been posted :3 Hope this was helpful to you both!
Deanie x
Thank you for your review, Deanie. It may be shorr, but even so, it is undeniably useful. Yes, I realise Ice's presence may be confusing, but there is a really intricate plot surrounding that. However, more about him will be explained in chapter two.

Furthermore, I am aware Ice is just sitting there, and I did try to give him more dialogue, but nothing was natural. Oh, and Canis trusts Ice explicitly, as they are [insert spoiler here]. And I didn't specify a gender? O_o Well, he is definitely male. XD
The first few chapters will be rather confusing, yes, but Wanderer and I plan on elaborating as the story progresses. Nevertheless, I shall certainly take your advice concerning breaking up the dialogue to heart - the sentimentality, though, comes in part 1.4.
Once again, thank you for your review!
PS: Part 1.3 also starts with a reference to winter, because we want to emphasise these events are occurring simultaneously.
Hi, J.C. here for a review, as promised!
Well, I definitely liked this more than the first chapter, and I liked that one quite a bit. High Fantasy has always been my favorite, and even though I didn't get to see much in the way of Action or Adventure, your dialogue is both fun, and realistic, so it was intriguing and kept me reading all the way through.
And on that note, I congratulate you. I read this all the way through without stopping once to go do something else. Most of the time while reading chapters on this side I get distracted or bored, but because your dialogue moves quickly, so did I.
This got me interested because I always like to have a talking animal somewhere in my stories, but then this wolf, Ice, just drops out of the story. I would have loved to see him throw in his two cents every once in awhile while Canis and Charles deliberated over their plans.
All too often writers like to string out moments like this, try to make them tense by throwing in some "uhh...I don't know how to say this but uh..." crap. It gets old and boring really quickly, because people wouldn't do that in real life. But you haven't done that, and you don't do that, which is one of the reasons why this story moves along so quickly.
This is more of a personal preference, but, because this is a fantasy world, I feel that the creatures should also be fantasy oriented, so a Black Widow doesn't quite fit. Just a minor nit pick.
An important thing to remember, and it shows that you're actually allowing your heroes to be heroes, which is to say, they actually know what they're doing. This little bit just adds to that, and makes the story all the more realistic, even though it is fantasy.
I really did enjoy reading this. Some people might say it's not so good because it lacks action or adventure, but honestly, these dialogue rich parts are the essence of a story, and should never be neglected. And you can never be too careful with them, because each word your characters say will reflect on them in the future, molding them into their own, unique person. If you don't pay attention, they'll all just become one big glob of nothingness.
And on the note above, Canis seems very doubtful in everything. Not in a bad way, but he seems more cynical and down to earth, asking all the hard questions, while Charles is, obviously, his well informed right hand man. They make a good pair. I look forward to reading more.
Thank you JamesHunt and TheWanderingWizard!
#TheFaultInOurReviews
Hey, JC! Thank you so much for being one of our biggest fans and that you reviewed this piece (as you promised).
There is a good reason why we did not include Ice in the conversation between Canis and Charles, but you'll have to wait for the other parts to find out what that reason is.
Because Canis is James' character, I'll let him comment on some of the things you mentioned.
Thanks once again for this marvelous review and hope to hear from you again!
I hope to read more. Gosh dang it! Write faster!
Both your and Wolfie's reviews have left me blushing. When it comes to reviewing, I have learned that the two of you are not only loyal (I cannot stress how much I appreciate that) but your advice is of the highest quality. In fact, yours are the first two opinions I seek in matters such as these.
it switches to another character but I shall delay its publishing until Chapter One is complete.
I see you remarked upon the cupboard spider. Generally speaking, if something in our world suits our purpose, my co-author and I will simply employ that in our writing, but rest assured, there are many more fantasy-creatures in our novel. Some of them you may know, others will be new, but we try to keep each original, and the manner through which we did that is (call this patting me and my author on the back if you like) quite simply, delicious.
I am currently working on parts IV and V. Part III is already finished, and
Spoiler
Aw shucks, Knight r4 beat me! I will try my best, nonetheless, to contribute some new insight to this wonderful work!
Again, I love your (both of yours) name choices. Canis is a wonderful name, especially since canis lupus is the Latin name for wolf!
I love this personification!
Oh, this is interesting....
I would either remove the last comma or begin a new, one-word sentence of "Today."
This is referring to Ice, correct? Maybe you could clarify that.
You just forgot a little quotation mark here.
I don't really understand this sentence. It sounded like Aleksandrei is two people at parts...
My favorite word <3
Up to this point, I felt that I understood what was going on pretty well. Then after this line, I got lost. All the new information in this new world that the reader doesn't know much about is very overwhelming. It would be better if things could be explained along the way more extensively.
We know him!
Ok, so we have already learned a lot of information, and it's still early in Chapter One! It's important that you view the conversation between Canis and Charles in the reader's shoes, too! The dialogue was very well written, but a lot of the discussion before the whole escape plan went over my head. If you could edit down and explain certain parts a little better, it would help a lot!
This plan seems really cool! That is so ingenious- having a nonpoisonous spider that looks like a Black Widow bite you- and get rushed to the hospital! I can't wait to read that part of the story.
I must assure you, my friends, that this book is certainly capable of becoming a bestseller, also. It is a lovely type of fantasy that I have already grown attached to through your excellent writing. Keep it up!!
Hey, wolfie! Thanks for this review. Firstly: There aren't ANY werewolves! (Don't let James read this), but you'll find out what Canis and Ice are as the story progresses.
Because Canis is James' character, I'll let him go into detail with your review.
Thanks once again and I hope to hear from you with the future parts.
That's good. Honestly, I'm not a fan of werewolves... I'm excited to see what they are!
I have read your review (as well as Wanderer's comment
) and I thank you for the invaluable advice you have provided. I am glad you like Canis and Ice, as they are some of my favourite characters as well. As for their relationship... That is one of the great mysteries of the novel.

Your suggestion to place the "today" in its own sentence is ingenious. I shall do so immediately.
That long, rambling sentence you pointed out seems to be very confusing, so I shall definitely be correcting that as soon as I am finished commenting.
I appreciate your input, and rest assured, there are no werewolves in Lauracia. I cannot promise that there are no other supernatural or fantastic wolves, but you will simply have to wait and see...
Knight r4 here to review for, well review day. I certainly hope this helps, James and Wandering!
Hahaha. I like your sense of humor.Nice! I like this description here!
This is very confusing. I think this is just a huge run on sentence. You should split it up into multiple sentences and reword it so it is less confusing.
I know what you mean by the "!?" but I think the exclamation point is implied so you should take it out.
I think those were the main things I found I liked or were errors. I think your grammar was pretty good. But one thing I did notice that some people might think is wrong is you use ' instead of ". However that is that same way that Tolkien wrote so you should be fine.
I liked the exciting dialogue in this chapter. It made it seem like it was full of action. The only problem is that randomly Charles walks in pretty early on in the story for a novel. This is kind of confusing. You have set the stage for a great plot but I think that you need to work on slowing the pace down a little bit. Still, this is a good chapter. Happy writing!!!
I shall certainly take what you have written into consideration. As for the fast pace, that was one of the things with which my co-author and struggled for quite some time, but eventually, we decided upon plunging the reader straight into the action. We shall explain the events which led up to this point in greater detail as the story progresses.
I loved it! Do you plan on posting more? It was a little rough at first, but the beginning of most stories are but than I got into the story and it was smooth sailing from there! I only wish I could put this much raw creativity into my book! I still have to edit it and such so it can be reviewed this Sunday but your all set! Keep writing chapters for this, because I'll be tuning in hoping to read more.
Sincerely, @ScarletDreams14
Writer, Artist, Student, and Reader
Thank you for your support. Many more chapters will be published, so there will be no shortage of reading material. Would you like me to tag you upon the next release?
Yes please. ^^
More pronunciations of potentially unusual names (the emphasised syllable is indicated by an apostrophe):
o Canis: kay'-niss
o Aleksandrei: ah-leck-zan'-dray
Once again, if you have any questions concerning the story, feel free to PM either me or my co-author.
~ James Hunt