Published July 6, 2012
Chapter 1
Scaly lips peeled back in a vicious snarl, exposing a set of pointed fangs, dripping with saliva. The beast's ears were pinned flat against it's head --- a warning sign that the girl had ventured too close. It flicked it's forked tongue, hissing aggressively at the intruder.
"Oh, hush up." Samitra muttered, tossing a hunk of raw hamburger to the creature's black, scaly feet. The creature snatched it up and stalked off into the shadows, sprawling it's hefty body out to devour the meal.
"Miss Wildes, your father has arrived." a voice abruptly stated. Jaxton Marks, an employee of Samitra's father, stood in the doorway, smiling sheepishly.
"Thank you." Samitra whispered. The light danced about in her stormy grey eyes as she brushed past Jaxton and scurried up the stairwell to greet her father.
Every time her father returned home from his business trips, which had been rather consistent lately, Samitra's heart burst with excitement. Why she was so delighted at his return was still a mystery. Perhaps she hoped that he would offer her even a moment of his time and an ounce of his attention. Ever since her mother had passed on, he went directly to his laboratory without much more than a hello.
But the yearning for his affection never seemed to be anything but a fantasy, for once again, he walked right past without so much as uttering a word to her. Once again, he was almost instantaneously gone, and, once again, she was left to fend for herself.
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137,484 Literary Works • 672,034 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well this is a lovely start here to a first chapter....you first get a bit of a shock at seeing what appears to be a pretty dangerous looking creature there, certainly not your average guard dog judging by the description that we've got here and we see this person casually treat it as it were a puppy and continue about their business like nothing happened. That instantly gets your attention here as a reader and lets you know things are going to be quite interesting. Lovely way to start a story that.
Hmm, well I love how this creature is completely forgotten by this point and its as normal as you please with what appears to perhaps a secretary or even a random employee informing this person that they have a visitor who happens to be their father. The smile and the fact that she practically runs to meet her father certainly tell you the sort of relationship that the two must share here.
Well that was a misread of the relationship there...oh wow, well it actually seems to be the opposite of the normal fact there...this father appears to be quite distant and it appears it all stems from when this person's mother passed away. Well, there's definitely some heavy backstory behind that one there. We also get to see how much hope this person has despite her attempts ending with nothing on most occasions, and in fact it appears this was another of those occasions....so well that tells you a thing or two about the personality too there. All in all, avery interesting start to this here story...it does sounds like something that I'd read at any rate.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Another? What are you up too Harry? XD
I like your work i saw no grammatical problems with this piece but where's the story im not really seeing it i really don't know who samitra is or really what she's going through you hint at it but in the end i'm left with no answers. i don't think i know you have the writing talent. I believe a little work can go a long way i wish to read more. keep up the good work.