Granny

Firstly, I'm very sorry for your loss, that's not something I can imagine going through. My only nitpick is in the capitalization of "god" when addressing the Creator, oh and apostrophes. Again, sorry for our loss. You're a professional poet for writing from the heart, the true story.

This poem reads very easily and i can feel what you wanted to say with it. Telling the truth i completely understand you. You have put down my feelings which i felt after my granny died and i enjoyed reading this poem.
I really liked the first three lines "Truth behind life,
mystery behind death,
haunted me since your mortality" but after these lines i think you should have started a new sentence. It's kinda asking for a stop after mortality and to start with a new breath the next line. I love the line "no replay, no rewind, no pause" this line really spoke to me and some how hit me.
But these lines doesn't sound really right " I've been waiting all my
life since you passed.." they just don't sit with me well, maybe you should have changed the construction of that sentence maybe then it would have sounded better but that's just me. Continuing the poem reads quite well, even smoothly.
But starting with "I've wished to lie" after this the poem reads discursively, the construction of the lines isn't the best. The reading isn't smooth anymore it's jagged.
But the end is grate again " I'm sitting crying
for you to come and call me." this again is written gracefully.
In conclusion i will say that i enjoyed your poem.

Your poem was, well...rough, and puzzling. You have a great idea for a powerful poem, you just need help with formatting it. Let's just go through line by line, okay? A well-revised review to help you improve in poetry.

" Truth behind life,
mystery behind death,
haunted me since your mortality "

You've missed out the full stop at the last word, and with the lack of the word "the", this is a rather confusing introduction to your poem. Besides that, what does "mortality" have anything to do with this? "Mortality" is almost like "mortal", which means human. So how can one's human-ness bring up the question of life and death? I repeat that this introduction is very confusing.

Change it to:

" The truth behind life,
and the mystery behind death;
they've haunted me since your departure."

It sounds better, and "departure" is a polite way to say "death".

" after you I don’t know
with whom I’m goanna
show my sensitivity, "

Remember that in poems, you are allowed to have sentences. You should know when to have a full-stop, when to have a comma, and when to put in a new capital. Since "after" marks the start of a new sentence, it should be capitalized.
One the other hand, "goanna" should be "gonna", but even that is incorrect. See, this is poetry, and you should be using words of literature, not everyday speech. The words should be formal, not the kind of words that don't actually exist but we use everyday. Change that to "going to".
Besides that, I am confused about "show my sensitivity". What do you mean by that? Are you trying to say that the narrator is somebody fragile and sensitive, and now has nobody to turn to? If so, then you have to alter these lines to:

" After you've gone, I don't know
who can embrace
my fragile and sensitive self. "

I've inserted a full-stop as well because this is one sentence. I'm aware that your work lacks full-stops.

" the period spent with you
was very small and fast,
no replay, no rewind, no pause... "

To use "period" as another words for time is very awkward. Besides that, time cannot be small! And again, the last line is very, very confusing. If you are trying to convey that the narrator is unable to remember all of the memories with his/her grandmother, that "no replay, no rewind, no pause" is not the correct way to express it-- in fact, I think you should remove that line completely because it makes no sense.
Change this to:

"The duration I've spent with you
was short; it flew so fast. "

Of course, this is just a suggestion, but you should still reconsider the three lines.

" no one will ever know that
I’ve been waiting all my
life since you’ve passed.. "

I don't know how to explain what's wrong with these lines, but you should change these to:

"No one knows,
that I've been waiting
since you've passed."

I don't know, I consider the narrator to be young of age, so using "all my life" is weird.

" wondering when I’ll get
the chance of seeing you
again clothed in the white saree.. "

Honestly, these were the only three lines that I found with the least errors. Still rough a bit, but capitalizing "wondering", connecting "again" to the second line and staring the third line with "clothed" improves the smooth flow of these lines:

"Wondering when I'll get
the chance of seeing you again,
clothed in your white saree."

Oh yeah, remember that having "..." at the end of a line is wrong-- or, at least, that's what I've been told. Refrain from having triple dots at the end of your lines.

" there is on one beside me too
with this short epic being lonely written,
with the absence of you,
having no one to talk with
I 'm sitting here waiting for the same car that took you
to peace, so that even I can rest along with you.. "

Hmm...first of, what do you mean by the first line? "on one"? What is that? You have to specify, or else a reader gets confused.
Second line: "short epic"? Perhaps replacing that with "this meaningful poem".Besides that, what does the first and second line have anything to do with the following lines? I believe you've misplaced your commas and full-stops.
Maybe you should change it to:

" There's one beside me,
that reminds me of you,
as this meaningful poem is being written.

Without your presence,
I have nobody to talk to.
I'm sitting here, waiting,
for the same car that took you
to peace, so that, maybe,
I can rest along with you."

Now then, on to the next lines:

" On my granny’s lap forever,
I 've wished to lie
but, I never thought you,
had to lie in god lap before. With
my longing desire living displeased.. "

I know that you're trying to say that the narrator is longing to lie in his/her grandmother's lap. I know you mean that the narrator is surprised that his/her grandmother went to God's lap instead, and that the longing is nothing more than a hopeless dream, but the way you've presented it is awkward and requires a lot of revising and re-reading.
Maybe:

"On my Granny's lap,
I wish to lie, forever.
But, I never thought you,
would return to God's lap so soon.
My longing desire,
is now nothing more but a hopeless dream."

It sounds easier to understand, and all of the punctuation and spelling is correct. Not only that, it has a better flow if you alter it that way.

" I 'm sitting crying...
for you to come and call me. "

I think you left out "waiting", and seriously, what's up with those triple dots? And you've somehow developed a weird habit of putting spaces between the "I'm"s and "I've"s.

"I'm sitting here, crying,
waiting for you to come and call me."

Alright, I guess that's the last of them, but I should point out it's still a bit rough. This sounds as though you were writing this in an emotional wreck instead of properly planning your words and composing them into a poem. Don't put in words that just sound nice or fitting, and always consider whether they make sense or connect with the line before and after it.

The best way to improve on poetry is to read other poetry, and-- don't just read it! INDULGE it. Appreciate how the author has carefully constructed his or her lines, how each lines connect, how the punctuation and spelling is done! Use similes or indirect meanings to bring depth into your poetry, and remember, a poem doesn't have to rhyme, so don't try so hard to find words that do.

I'm sorry if you think I'm mean, but that's not my intention. I really want to help you improve and share your feelings with other readers in the proper, literary way. You should know, though, I did enjoy reading this, but you need a lot of help.

Another review will, perhaps, stop by to give you an elaborate revision of your work. For now, I've done all I could.

~Brunnera