Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Prologue: My life is a dizzying mix of reality and fantasy; My mom is from an ancient line of seers, and my dad comes from a family of doctors. Both sides put pressure on me to become great, and it's enough to drive anyone to their breaking point. Finally, I've hit mine. I'm holding on to the end of my rope with one hand, the other desperately clutching to the last of my sanity. It's all to much for me to handle, so I decide to pack my bags and leave in the middle of the night. Only, when I'm gone, I realize just how unprepared I was. When cloaked strangers show up and capture me, I have to figure out what secrets my parents have kept from me. If I can't , I'll only have a few more weeks, until my 16th birthday. Then all hell will break loose - literally.

Hi Breaking! I'm just going to jump right into this:

This to me doesn't seem as much of a prologue but comes across as that paragraph on the back of your novel to summarize what the book is about. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing, I guess you decide.

Another note is that this paragraph seems a bit rushed. I have huge problems with rushing so I completely understand how you just need to get all of your ideas down, so here's a tip: once you are done writing your initial ideas/paragraph. Read it again, preferably out loud, and ask yourself as you are reading it: How can I explain this better? Add more detail? Give mystery/a snippet of what happens next? Usually prologues explain something later in the book. They are a little spoiler almost that also makes the reader get into the story and establish the feel of the book. I suggest you look up prologues online and get the feel of them. Then try to rewrite the prologue and then start on the story!

I'm not saying your work is bad. I consider this to be the best place to be as a writer because the only place you can go is forward and I really want to know what happens! So write on my wall and PM me if you have any questions or if you have written something of these. With just a little tweaking, I am sure you will have an amazing book!