Beginning of Our World : Doom

Well, this is my first post, and rather than show my finished work, I'll get some opinions of the beginning of my 3rd story. It's the 3rd in a series I'm writing so it might seem hard to get at first. Enjoy! And leave comments etc.

On a side note, I do use chat room writing in the other books, it's actually quite challenging to try and put personality in things like that, and describe what happens

~Year 1~

The White Street

A boy, no older than fifteen steps silently through the snow, his hood pulled over his face tightly, hiding everything.

He has two swords strapped to his back and he walks with a strange conviction, but heavy heart.

You’re being followed

He turns around and finds a man in his twenties in a position, ready to fight. The boy calls out, “Why here? Why not in Our World?”

The man shakes his head and flexes his hands, small daggers flash out of his wrists and he charges forwards.

He has no idea who he’s dealing with.

Two blue circles appear in the darkness of the hood and the boy draws his blades. He rolls out of the charging man’s path and leaves two small cuts in the back of his left leg. He cries out and then screams with anger, spinning madly, stripping a tiny part of the boy’s sleeve and drawing blood. The eyes flare red and the man begins to gibber and mumble in fear, dropping to the ground and begging to an illusion. The boy’s wrists bulge slightly and two blades slide out. He gasps in shock but instantly re-composes himself. He punches the man in the face and throws off his hood. “Remember this face, because next time you see it, it won’t be so merciful,” he punches him again and runs off at an inhuman speed.

His name is Vayrin, and he failed to stop a disaster.

He won’t fail again.

You’ve got style I must say

Vayrin: Yeah, but these wrist blades are a bit weird

You’ll get used to them

: It’s a shame Irian launched all that info about people

Vayrin: What, the thing about if you kill another, you still physically gain experience?

: Yeah, that, it might explain why we update so often

Vayrin: Yeah, it makes sense, are René and Zixion still at the house?

: Yes, Zixion is still getting used to the cold but the hoods you wear was a good idea

Vayrin: It helps identify each other and it’s a good protection against the cold

René is coming

A girl, around the same age as Vayrin, wearing the same style of hood, came running at him. Her feet flashed purple and she jolted forwards, knocking Vayrin to the soft white ground.

She threw off her hood and kissed him on the cheek.

“Hello there!”

She winked at Vayrin and got off him, brushed herself down and did a quick check of her surroundings. “All clear Zix!”

Another girl leapt off a building nearby, two knives dangling from her belt. She lifted up her hood and shook her long black hair; it danced delicately in the cold wind before resting on her back.

“Hey bro, gosh, you’re getting rusty,” She pointed at the ripped sleeve, “So, what power did you get?”

Vayrin flexed his wrists and the blades popped out. “I’m jealous; those would work so well for me!”

René looked down uncomfortably.

She didn’t have a weapon yet.

Vayrin noticed and spoke loudly, “Alright, today we’re getting René a weapon, lightning fast punches can only get you so far eh?” He laughed awkwardly.

He drew up his hood and the others did the same.

His eyes glowed blue and his lips moved silently.

Before you ask, we think René would work best with a lance, and yes we know a good place to go looking

Vayrin: Sometimes I really do love you

: As a program right?

Vayrin: Yes, as a program...

We’ll direct you, just make sure the girls keep up

Vayrin: What sort of advice is that? Of course they will

Vayrin’s eyes dimmed and he held up his fingers, made a small sign and put his hand back down.

Follow me.

His feet glowed blue and he sped off, René and Zixion close behind. A man in a long trench coat stepped out of an alley and watched them run off.

“Such vigor and substance... they would do well in my world...” Irian looked at his watch, “Five minutes...well kids, you’ve made your move, now I’m making mine...”