I actually wrote this because I was feeling down about my ex. [and i was listening to Avril Lavine's Hey You, so...]
I don't really know if its any good. Please crit.
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What makes you think I love you?
Is it the way I blush everytime you come near me?
Is it possibly the look on my face everytime we talk?
Hah! That's nothing.
I don't love you.
I never have, I never will.
What makes me think you love me?
It's the way you call everyday without fail.
It's the way you say my name.
Hah! That's nothing.
You don't love me,you never have
and you never will.
What makes you think I need you?
Is it the way I fall to peices when ever I see you and her?
Is it the way I can't stand to be without you?
Hah! That's nothing.
I don't need you.
I never have, and I never will.
What makes me think you need me?
The way you abandon her to talk to me.
And it's the way you say my name.
What makes you think I...
Oh.
I understand.
Wait..
Before you go...
I love you.
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
This is really good. I can relate to it although maybe thats not good. But I don't care. This was really good. Keep it up.
Okay... how weird is this? I was listening to Avril Lavigne's Hey You like TWO minutes before I saw this! (That's why I decided to read it actually)
I agree with scrambled pages. I especially liked the ending.
I really liked this, really original.
This isn't so much a critique to help you develope as a writer as it is me just telling you that I like it.
Great ending!
I know; not very helpful, but it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to be able to post a completely positive review every now and then, and I thought yours was very worthy of praise.
So voila! I congratulate you and say goodbye.
-Gen