Young Writers Society

Hi there BookOholic22! Niteowl here to leave a quick review.

On a positive note, I do think you have some interesting analogies. I like the ideas of words that glow and words like bullets. It makes me feel like you could do a lot more with this.

However, I feel like this is one of many examples I've seen of where the poem is being twisted to fit the rhyme to the detriment of the piece itself. I'm generally not a fan of rhyming poems, as forced rhyme and poor meter (like Keepwriting touched on below) are easy traps to fall into. I find that free verse helps me focus on what I actually want to say and what the best words are to convey that message, as opposed to what fits some arbitrary scheme. That way, you get less filler and make a greater impact with each word.

Overall, I think this poem has some interesting ideas, but maybe they would be better expanded upon in a free verse poem. Keep writing!

Hey Bookoholic !
Nice name btw . So review hmm okey ! Honestly saying I like your penning. You write far far better than I can and the most important thing is we write. The best lines of your poem .. I fell in love with..are
" the pen close to writer's heart"
" pen is a poet's best friend "
Rather you can write "writer" in place of "poet" it will be more appropriate.
But ignoring the flow and little mistakes I want to say that I really like ur penning. Keep it up . Blessings,!

hey gal,
so as i already told you I love your poem. the theme is awesome just like me. But of course it could use some improvement.

"The pen, close to writer's heart,
The paper, on which he gathers the words that dart.
Words that may make someone feel lighter,
Or that make someone smile brighter"

here the flow feels broken to me.
in the second line of this stanza you should replace" on which he gathers the words that dart" to "on which he gathers his thoughts"

"Pen is a poet's best friend,
Giving way to feelings that never really end"
here you should add "will" before never. so it will go like " giving way to feelikngs that will never really end"

"When you are in a jolly mood
Or when you have a feeling of gratitude,
Grab a paper to jot down the words,
Be it about the chirping of birds."
this is my favourite part of your poem.
I appreciate the amount of hard work you did while writing this.

keep on writing
fangirl~

P.S.- btw i posted the prologue of our story.

Hello, BookOholic. Welcome to YWS btw. I haven't seen you around here before. I enjoyed reading your poem the flow was a little broken here and there but it was cool. Here are some tips as to how you can make your poem flow better:

1. Try having the same amount of syllables. This can be a pain in the neck but it really does help.

2. Try not to use as little prepositions as possible. I've found that they can really affect how the poem sounds.

The second stanza in your second paragraph is a bit long. Overall this poem was rather enjoyable. Keep writing and never get discouraged! <3

~Keepwriting