Removed

by BohemeMistress

Published October 4, 2006

Removed.

Sorry.

Comments & reviews · 9
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GibsonGirl
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GibsonGirl commented Comment · Oct 6, 2006

I really like this too. It makes you think about society in general, and it's cool how you got your point across in a story this short. [/quote]

jumping_jacks142 commented Comment · Oct 6, 2006

ya i like it too it is true and i luved ur last line soo um... by... :)

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tinny
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tinny commented Comment · Oct 6, 2006

It's the sort of thing I can see myself thinking about days after I've read it. It sucks you and and really doesn't let go.

I like it!

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oppanox Comment
oppanox commented Comment · Oct 5, 2006

I really like this as well, so dark and gritty but then i gues ultimately quite real. Sounds like it could almost be an anecdote to the insainty of a world that doesn't care.

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bubblewrapped
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bubblewrapped commented Comment · Oct 5, 2006

LOL I'll add my praise too - very cool story. One thing you might want to fix; it's "in a manner of speaking" not "a matter of speaking" as you have it now. Otherwise, awesome. Kudos to you!

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Jiggity
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Jiggity commented Comment · Oct 5, 2006

Interesting. I very much liked the gritty aspect to it. Has a very male feel to it though, which considering your a girl, is an achievement.

Well done.

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Lampshade
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Lampshade commented Comment · Oct 4, 2006

Nice job!!! I really liked your writing it drew me in and make me think at the end. I especially liked your last line as it was awesome!

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Firestarter
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Firestarter commented Comment · Oct 4, 2006

Yeah, I loved the atmosphere in this piece. It was camouflaged at the start with the opening, but it grew as the piece went on and I loved it.

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Snoink
Review
Snoink wrote a review Review · Oct 4, 2006

OOOOH! I love this! It's so weird and haunting and everything that OMG! It's not what I expected at all, but that's fine since it totally exceeded my expectations! And the ending sentence? Pure brilliance!

cross the street to the only ally way


Should be "alleyway."

It’s sirens were crying


Should be "Its."

Excellent job though! :D



It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
— Walt Disney