Published March 28, 2010
I was 3 years dead, but it told a tale. Now listen little child hold on to the safety rail. If you don't you'll fall and if you fall you'll die and there is no time for that tonight!
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This is part of "The Llama Song" minus the last line :S
I don't quite understand the first line. "I was three years dead, but it told a tale" what does "it" refer to? as for the rest of the song, what caught my eye was that it didn't rhyme. The first two lines did, and then this didn't. I did like how you mentioned the word "fall" more times - it was repetetive and very cool of an idea, if you ask me. I like this. It was good - but hte first line which I don't understand. It does, however, flow well into the second line. Great job
I suggest you fix the first line.
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