If I die tonight I hope I will float into your arms God.
If I die tonight God, please take my soul and make it's way to the sun so I can shine on my mother.
If I die tonight God, please take care of her.
Make sure she's safe.
Please bless her soul and her children's.
If I die tonight God, please take care of my little brother.
Make sure he grows to be the man I want him to be.
Strong, kind, protectice, bright and loving.
If I die tonight God, please watch over my little sister and make sure she doesn't let her madness kill her.
Make sure she doesn't hold in her feelings like I did.
Please make sure she has someone who she can trust to talk to.
If I die tonight God, please warm up my stepfathers heart.
Please make sure he focus on making his days better and keeping the family together and not apart.
If I die tonight God, let me spread my wings and hold my family safe.
If I die tonight God, let my dearest know that I love them.
If I die tonight God, please set me free.
If I die tonight God, please give me peace.
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
Wonderful poem. Perfection.
I usually don't get very hooked on poetry but this one really was amazing. I loved how you began most lines with the same four words, "If I die tonight". The character in the poem seems like such a kind and thoughtful person. I really like how they want everyone else in the world to learn from their mistakes if they actually do commit suicide.
My only question is, What happened in their lives to warrant them thinking about their death? I think this might be a good thing to address in a future poem if you haven't already.
You are a wonderful poet so I hope to see more of your poetry on Young Writers Society. Great Work!!
Lovetswift1300
Thank you!
And about your question,you will defenetly get your answer in my other poems I will be posting.
And I'm glad to hear you liked my poem!
And thank you for reading my poem!
Whoa. This is really just beautiful and not to mention just flat out depressing. Still, I think it's very well written and I love the message that it has. It's truly beautiful. Great job my friend. I'm in love with the sweetness and darkness of this poem. -IceWinifredd
Thank you and I'm glad you liked it!
This was beautiful. I really enjoy how dark this poem is. This is sweet even though its dark. It is pretty brilliant. The only mistake that I can see is that there are no spaces after your commas. You should continue writing poetry like this. The part about your sister is really touching. "Make sure she doesn't hold in her feelings like I did. Please make sure she has someone who she can trust to talk to."
Thank you!
And I have fixed that now,I may have forgotten about that while I was writing it! Thank you for taking notice in that and also for reading my poem!
Well, that's a pretty dark poem.
I like how it begins with "If I die tonight..." for the first three stanzas, and then it turns into it being every other stanza, followed by a stanza about the subject. Then at the end it turns into four stanzas beginning with "If I die tonight...", again, to nicely conclude it. I also like how you talk about family, and how you want them to be protected, very sweet.
I did realize that your commas have no space in between them and the next word throughout the whole poem.
Overall I really enjoy your poem! Keep it up!
Thank you!
And well yeah it's kind of dark,I didn't really intend on it to be a dark poem but I'm still really proud of it. XD
And I will fix that right away,I must have forgotten,while i was writing it,thanks for taking notice in that!