Chapter 1
Hint of Adventure
The land of Dudaz was a wonderful, mystical place. From the beautiful lush green valleys, to the snowy mountain tops, to the sparkling turquoise seas. Nobody ever thought that after the nuclear war between the ‘moderns’ the world would heal. But as it was, 300 years later, the world regrew, and most places went back to the state before the moderns came and ruined it. Then 36 years later, in the year of 2350 P.M. (Post Moderns) the humans came back. They were back to the point in time that the moderns called the ‘Early Modern Age’. Even so, the people liked it at this time. We didn’t use cars, because they polluted the air.
What the moderns had done to the world was terrible. Some people said that they wished they were born in the ‘Modern Age’, because rumors said that they had games that were on special screens, you could get things just by saying you wanted it, and they had machines that let them talk to each other from miles away. But they were also dumping waste into oil deposits, and the ocean, poisoning a food source as well as making 12 species of marine life go extinct, and 54 others endangered. The moderns’ waste had been poisoning everybody. It was almost good that they had the nuclear war, it was more merciful to the wildlife around them, getting rid of the humans for 336 years, and allowing nature to regrow.
When the humans came back, something new took place. The way people were built and their personality had been changed. Their personality mainly wasn’t chosen by influence, and their bodies were born in one way that people couldn’t change that much. Their body and personality were based on which way their mother faced while giving birth to them. If they were born facing North, they would be adventurous, courageous, and they were extremely curious. Their body would be built for endurance, and they are great for long journeys on foot or horseback. They can go for more time than others without food, water, or rest. They are immensely strong. To go with their strength was height. Average North height was about six feet eight to seven feet exactly. They aren’t bothered by minor injuries as much as a South, East, or West would be.They’re knowledgeable of most medical supplies from inside the towns, or in the wild, and treatments that can be made with that supplies.
If somebody was born facing South, they’re the kick-back party time person. They are used to a pretty cushy life, and they don’t like labor. They are built to look great, but not beautiful. They can’t get drunk, - thank goodness, they drink so much - or get hangovers, also they’re immune system could ingest most acidic things, as long as it wasn’t straight acid. They’re charismatic. Some of them might be a bit chubby. (Okay, maybe not some. More like most.)
People that were born facing West are romantic. They love to flirt, and they’re looking for that special someone to love for the rest of their life. Someone to be with through thick and thin, through rain, snow, and ice. They’re built to be beautiful. They have those perfect muscles, not overly strong like a. . . What did the moderns call it? A bodybuilder. But not weak, either. They have the perfect amount of body, the perfect shape, and the perfect hair, skin, and eye color to look wonderful. They really are the people that are best for a lifelong companion.
If a person is facing East when they’re born, they’re in for being smart. They are the mathematician and a scientist of everything. They are definitely not built for endurance. But they’ve got a way with most puzzles. They are amazing in the lab.With what chemicals the scientists have retrieved, they’re able to handle them amazingly. They seem to be immune to acid, fire, and fumes made from chemicals mixed together. For a time, at least.
If somebody was born facing Northeast, they were amazingly rare. The reason why, was because, think of it this way: What parent would want a kid that’s different? Like, much more different than other kids. Easts would be jealous of Northeasts having superior endurance, strength and height. Norths would be jealous of them being able to resist acid, fire, and fumes. Also of their incredible intelligence, allowing them to make it through puzzles in tombs and such.
If somebody was born facing Northeast, they had the looks of a North, and they had the body build of one. They had the medical intelligence, the adventurous ways, and if anything, they were more curious than a North. They also for some reason knew as much about the wild as an expert hunter would, and the skills of a seasoned fighter. They had the mathematical intelligence of an East, and and the scientific intelligence of one too. They also weren’t affected by fumes, fire, or acid, just like an East.
I want to get to the story. But the summary? Southeast, Southwest, and Northwest are all like Northeast, mixes of both directions.
Everything else in human culture had not been changed. Well, pretty much everything. There were old things, like pirates, bandits, and slavers roaming around again.
I was looking over the hills, into the ocean, allowing the sea breeze brush over me. The small town I lived in was called ‘Boston’ before the nuclear war, but now it’s called ‘Moonrise Valley.’
My name is Jay Anderton, and at the time I was twelve years old. I was born in the year 3456 P.M. I’m a handsome guy. I look pretty much the same way now as I did twenty years ago, but I’m larger now. I have dark brown hair in an Ivy League cut, startling teal eyes, and a great tan. I’ve got a chiseled jaw.
(“Hey, what was that for!? I am handsome!”)
My parents had told me that I was a South baby, the party all the time kid. I was taller than most Souths were, standing at six feet three. I have much more muscle than most Souths too. I have large strong muscles on my torso, legs and arms. I liked to come up here on horseback, to see the sunset. Sometimes I didn’t think I really was a South. Sometimes I longed to do something other than party and kick back. My parents told me to stop thinking about it.
That was five months ago, before I turned twelve. I looked up at the sun, and saw that it had already begun set. If I didn’t come in time for the party my parents would think that something was wrong. I couldn’t let them think that I was thinking about adventure again.
“Blitz! Time to go home!” I called. Where was that horse? “Blitz!” I shouted.There! Down grazing in the valley. I jogged down to my horse.
“Blitz, you’re a bit crazy sometimes, you know? There was grass at the top of the hill, you didn’t need to go all the way down to the valley!” I said.
Blitz nickered in response. I sighed, stroking his soft nose. I couldn’t stay mad at Blitz.
Blitz was my beloved horse. He was a truly amazing stallion. His name, Blitz, means ‘lightning’. Blitz got his name because he had a white lightning bolt shaped patch of hair on his broad chest. He was a mixed breed of Clydesdale and Thoroughbred horses, - my favorite breeds - so he had the speed of a Thoroughbred, and the strength and endurance of a Clydesdale. Blitz also had the immense size of a Clydesdale. He was a beautiful red-bay horse, and his mane and tail were coal black. I had grown up along with Blitz. I had gotten Blitz when he was a foal, just a few days old, when I was eight. We’d been friends ever since I had gently stroked Blitz’s soft little nose.
I mounted Blitz and we went to my home at a brisk trot. The party had just begun.
I had a nice home. It was a decent sized home, little larger than the usual home for three. For some reason Dad had decided to paint the walls of the house sea green. We had a white shingled roof. Blitz’s barn was out back. It had old walls, with chipping red paint. We were going to repaint it in a few days and put a special finishing on it. We’d just re-shingled the brown roof, so it looked much better than the rest of the barn.
“Darn it, the party’s started! C’mon Blitz!” I muttered. I gently spurred Blitz, and moved faster into a canter. When we could hear the people screaming in the party, I slowed him to a lazy trot. “Woah, Blitz. Steady there, steady. Good boy, Blitz! I’ll get you an apple later,” I said.
The party was long, and as drunk as it can get when you can’t get drunk. It was a usual South party, and I was kinda tired of it. I snuck off to my room at about a quarter to midnight. I caught about only twenty minutes of sleep, because of the ruckus downstairs. Well, at least I wasn’t plagued by the dreams again.I had been having terrifying dreams. Showing me things I didn’t understand, like meeting a girl. Thinking that she’s a North, going on an adventure with her, and finding out that she is a Northeast. Meeting a North on the way, and finding out that I was a Northeast. There was a sort of magic in the dreams too. . . Something about the radiation giving a select few people special. . . Powers. There were horrifying creatures too. Things born from radiation, from an algae that ate up the radiation for energy, instead of using photosynthesis for energy. Seeing the last of the moderns.
I was shaken out of my thoughts from a sound outside. I looked at the clock, it was midnight. Who could that be? I wondered. It was Blitz, still waiting for his apple reward, for getting him home so quickly. Blitz whinnied again.
“Okay, Blitz! Wait a sec, I’ll get you a few apples.”
I left to the pantry for an apple. Darn, that horse must have been waiting for hours! How crazy is Blitz? I thought. I was about to leave the house with the apple, but then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to behold the sight of my father.
“Jay, what are you doing with that apple?” my Dad asked me. I paused, confused. It was almost one in the morning. Why was Dad still up?
“Uh. . . It’s a treat for Blitz. For getting me home so quickly.”
“All right. Go give it to Blitz. But then your mother and I have something for you.”
“Okay, Dad! I’ll back in a few minutes.” What does he have for me!? I hope it’s not a new shot glass like last time. . . I thought, walking to the barn.
“Hey, Blitz. Here’s your apple,” I said. Blitz nickered softly, then gingerly began to eat the apple from my hand. I rubbed him behind the ears.
“So, Blitz. Mom and Dad have something for me. What do you think it is?” I asked. Blitz nickered softly, nosing my palm, looking for more apples. I sighed, letting out a half-laugh.
“Blitz! You’ll eat all the apples we own if we’d let you. Crazy horse!” I shook my head. “‘Night Blitz. See you in the morning.” I jogged from the barn all the way back to my home.
A quick word, before you meet both my parents.
My parents could be great sometimes, and sometimes a Royal Pain. My father, Tony Anderton, was thirty-six years old, with a moderate amount of baby fat for a South. He had gentle sea green eyes, and light brown hair. He loved to party, just like any South. Tony always smelled lightly of booze. My Mom, Midna Anderton, was similar to to my father, in many ways. She was a Southwest, though. She was thirty-two. Like my father, she had some baby fat too. A little more than the usual Southwest, but it wasn’t a huge concern. She as well had light brown hair, but her eyes were serious, and dark blue. She had a gentle face, and soft ruby red lips. Midna always smelled heavily of roses or some other flower. She also was a party lover, but then again, what South wasn’t?
“Mom, Dad! You had something for me?” I called out when I was a few yards from the door.
“Jay?” I heard Midna reply.
“Yeah, Mom?”
“Come here kipper! We have a surprise for you!” Tony called.
Ugh, why did Dad insist on calling me kipper?
I came into the house, and saw my parents on the sofa.
“Jay,” Midna began, “you should know that every six years of an Anderton’s life, he or she gets a special gift. You got your custom made military ID Tags on your sixth birthday.”
“Yeah, I got that thing what, six years ago? Oh. . . I get it.”
I noticed my father was holding a small box. He held it out to me.
“Here you are, buddy. I hope you like it. Sorry, we’re a few months late,” Tony said.
I took the box in Tony’s hand, and - with shaky fingers - opened the box. Inside was a large multi-tool. It was made of stainless steel, and it had a special holster made of leather that I could clip to my belt or belt loop. I could see a cork-opener, a knife, a miniature saw, and tiny scissors. I would have to look for more things later.
Man, these things are so rare! It’s like a one in a million chance to find one, much less one as nice as this! Stainless steel? Darn! Now that’s rare! Especially in such good condition! I know that this was easy for the moderns, but now, you have to search for these things! I thought with excitement.
“Well, Jay? Do you like it?” Midna asked.
“It’s. . .It’s. . .” I was tongue-tied. How could Midna and Tony get such an epic thing? “Amazing. I love it! Thanks Mom, Dad!” I exclaimed. Now, all I need is some good travel clothes, a proper travel canteen, a good backpack with camping supplies, and a saddlebag for Blitz! I thought.
“Hey, I’m a little tired. May I go to bed?” I asked. But my mind was elsewhere, already knowing the answer.
“Sure, kip. ‘Night bud.” Tony said.
Now that the party was done and I could sleep, the dreams came.
I was running from something, somebody.
“Ha!” cried a deep voice. “You cannot defeat me! I am Arkantos! First Born Son of Kastor III! The Final Son of the Modern Age,” said the man, Arkantos.
Arkantos looked like something from a - what was it? - horror film. He was tall, looking about 9 feet tall. He was pale as a ghost. His head wasn’t covered in skin, it was just a skull. His eyes were replaced by green floating glowing spheres in black holes. He was glowing green and black. What skin he had, was so pale, it was almost blue or grey. He was holding a bone broadsword, wearing hide and bone armor, covered by a cloak made out of white tigerskin. Suddenly, a female voice called out to my right,
“Jay! Help! I’ve got the sludge dogs on me!” I turned my head, and suddenly I was on Blitz, a shortsword in my hand, charging Arkantos. I wondered where the sword came from. The hilt felt custom-made for me. It was a comfortable weight and length for me to use it properly. Arkantos lifted his hand, and suddenly something was in it. It looked like black fire. He lobbed it to my left, and a lower voice called out in pain,
“Arrgghh! Helpppp!!!!!! Ack! My leg! What was in that!?”
I bolted upwards, and fell off my bed. I was sweating, even though it was cool in my room.
“Jay?” called a deep voice. For a second I thought it was the terrible man from my dream. What was it? Arkantos. Then I realized it was just my father. He must have heard the thud.
“Yeah, Dad?” I called back.
“C’mon down here, kipper! Some kid called Jonathan Greenshire is here t - Wait, no. Just Jon Green. He says you two were planning to go riding today?” Tony called.
“Ugh, Dad! Remember the guy you bought Blitz from? What was his na- Oh! George Green? Remember? Jon is his kid!” Ugh. Tony never remembered my friends.
“George? From Huckleberry Horses?” Tony asked.
At this point, I was beginning to get dressed.
“Yeah, Dad. George. Remember his son?”
“No. When did you two meet?”
“Blitz was a very special horse. Jon missed him, so he came to visit one time with Blitz’s half brother, the paint/clydesdale. What was it. . . . . Prince? No. Tux! We go riding together now,” I called down.
“Oh. Well, okay. See you later, kip.”
I finished getting my pants on as quickly as I could, and then ran downstairs to have breakfast before we went riding. I was wearing an outfit I liked to wear while riding, a tan corduroy dress shirt, dark blue denim jeans, dark brown riding boots, and a ten gallon hat.
“So, how are you?” I was dashing around the room, getting my breakfast.
“Good, ho-?” Jon began.
“I’m fine, thank you! How is Tux?
“He’s goo-”
“Everything good at the farm? Hoping for a good time riding today?”
“Stop rush- Jus- JAY!” yelled Jon.
“Pawh?” I hit my chest a few times then swallowed. “Sorry, I- yeah?”
“Dude! You were rushing faster than a spooked Thoroughbred! What’s the hurry? I thought I told you, Tux is out at a different farm today, - playing stud - and won’t be back for another hour!”
“Jon,” I was saying through a mouthful of toast and froot loops, “you said that Tux was coming back at nine thirty, right?” I asked.
“Why, ye-” Jon tried to speak again.
“Jon,” I interrupted, “it’s ten forty-five.” I laughed, almost choking on my breakfast.
“Wh- why! Great Scott! You’re right!” Jon shook his head, laughing too.“I’d better go get him right now. I’ll be back in forty,” Jon said.
I waited ten minutes.
Then thirty.
Fifty minutes passed by, and Jon still didn’t come back.
“Dad? Can I go out to Jon’s farm to see what’s taking so long?” I asked, hoping I kept the worry out of my voice.
“Sure, I’ll call to tell ‘em you’re coming.”
I knew something was wrong, because Jon was never late for anything. If he said he was coming back in twenty minutes, he would be back in fifteen. Worried, I saddled up Blitz and rode off to Huckleberry Horses. When I was about three-fourths of the way there, I heard the familiar sound of Tux’s whinny. Phew! Tux was okay, and I was sure Jon was just grooming him. Spending time with his special horse. Or so I thought.
Huckleberry Horses is a nice place to be. It’s got lush green fields, and a beautiful bright yellow barn. It’s got a white-shingled roof. There’s a ring that you can go ride around in behind the barn, and there’s a pasture in front of the barn. The house, - connected to the barn - was a simple two story green building. It had black shingles.
Jon wasn’t at the farm. I asked around, but George worriedly told me that Jon left for Tux, and then Tux came back. Jon wasn’t with him. George wasn’t one to lie, and he cared for his son very much. Ever since he lost Jon’s mother, Sarah, he couldn’t bear anything happening to his son or horses.
Which meant I just had to find him.
I was elated. I had my hint of adventure.
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A/N: Well, before you bite my head off, I want to tell you: I was twelve when I wrote this. This was also the first book I ever wrote.
The new, much better first chapter of Northeast should be out soon.
*Facedesk*
WHY DID I PUBLISH THIS
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You did this when you were 12? WHOA! I was too busy being an idiot to do anything productive at 12. I thought the concept of this story was really cool, I love magic systems with different sections, and I love the idea of being able to mix and match different directions somewhat. I really found it fascinating, and I loved the whole thing with Earth and how we know it being a thing of the past. You can have some really fun Easter eggs, like finding the statue of liberty Planet of the Apes style. There was only one thing I didn't like, your style seemed dumbed down, I know you wrote it at 12 and you plan to revise. So when you do just keep something in mind: Show don't tell. Sometimes the narration was fun, but it also got forced, stuff like "My dad is 30-something" could me described like "His eyes sagged slightly with middle age" Now don't quote me! I personally hate it when someone tries to replace my work with their own, I'm just trying to give you an example. But this world seems like it has such a HUGE scope and it's rich history will make it really fun an immersive for your readers!
Hey, this is a actually really well one even if you were twelve at the time.
I'm not going to go over the grammatical errors I found because you making a new chapter, but I will give you some advice.
Plot: The plot is interesting thick and definitely brings the reader in. In your next one you might want to make sure that the transition between the description into the story is smoother. Also I found the description a bit choppy here. otherwise you go into the plot and make it very entertaining.
Character's:Your character development was fast, but just enough to understand each one. Although how you did it here is ok it definitely maybe try teaching us about them through the process of showing instead of telling. Here it's all tell which is faster than showing, but less fun for the reader.
Description: Your descriptions were ok in the beginning and kinda slowly dropped out after that. You did describe character a lot, but not there surroundings. Also didn't put any descriptions other than visual really. So adding some for the other senses (smell,taste,touch,hear) would add to your piece nicely.
I really enjoyed your story and it's a great start to something and it also left me with lots of questions, but in a good way.
Good Luck and Keep Writing!
Sláinte -Junel